The ‘Climber’ Swiss Army Knife
Slightly Bemused writes:
I found an old friend over the weekend. Well, sort of. Bottom of a box that once held a nice bottle of whiskey, since used for odds and ends. I had forgotten I still had this box, or the one it contained. MacGyver would have liked the contents, I am sure. It has a blue handle, and was bought in the cabin of a now defunct airline in the days when you could buy blades on board.
I have lost track of how many of these I had over the years, useful tools that helped in many situations. Forgetting once security became a bigger issue, I lost one when I forgot to pack it in my main luggage. They also took my nail clippers at the time. Whenever I left a posting, I would pass it on, a small gift to my friends and team staying behind.
I remember the first pocket knife I owned. An old one, single blade, no handle. My father found out, and I was not allowed to keep it. I was told to return it to the friend who gave it to me. In an ironic twist, he gave it to me because his father would not let him keep it. So we buried it, in the best secret treasure traditions of young boys who read too many stories.
At the base of the wall of an ancient dilapidated mud walled building, carefully scratching a secret sigil in the side to indicate the location, we wrapped it in a plastic sandwich bag to protect it and buried it deep. It was the last we saw of it. Before we could recover it, the house was torn down, our treasure likely entombed at the bottom of a pit of builder’s rubble somewhere.
I always wanted one of those ones that you can open with one hand, but my understanding is that they are illegal in many countries, including Ireland. Having the same knife as some American TV characters is not worth that, so I went down the MacGyver route.
Once I was old enough, I bought my own first proper Swiss knife. Took a few attempts to settle on the models I liked (Climber, if you like to know, but the Wenger Giant is a giggle!), but it had everything I thought I could need. I was, and still am, amazed at the engineering, and barring a rotary one, they have the best can openers I have come across. I have opened many a tin of beans and other delicacies over the years.
The model also has a reamer for putting holes in wood or sails, with a convenient hole through the shaft for threading coarse twine to repair your sail. Beside that, a handy item for clearing the stones out of your horses hooves. The remnants of the boy’s mind brought up on adventures pictured himself galloping across the plains to a port to escape the dastardly lord, with vital intelligence. Aboard ship, we meet with a calamity, and it is up to me to repair the sails. Later, we could celebrate by opening the bottle of rare wine with the handy corkscrew, toasting our success!
Of course, there were a few problems with this. Let us start with the fact I do not own a horse, and have a dreadful seat when astride one. I can barely sew on a button, so the sails were not likely to last much beyond whatever ministrations I made. And I was still too young for wine. Quick tip: if you have one: after inserting the corkscrew, there is a way to lean on the long end of the shaft. This breaks the first seal, and makes it easier to withdraw the rest. Ironically, it was a Swiss officer who showed this to me first.
Anyway, I grew up, and eventually did work in some places where having this useful item was a boon.
Later updates included essentials like scissors, toothpicks and tweezers. That last is a dangerous thing to let your daughter have access to. I was over to see her, and we were watching a film in my hotel room before I dropped her home. I can tell something is up, and eventually she gets up and goes to my luggage. she shuffles around and finds what she is looking for.
Back she comes, leans over me and says “Hold Still!” A moment later I yelp in surprise as she deftly plucks a hair from the centre of the bridge of my nose, just above my glasses. My hair was all darker then, and it was annoying her. I had never noticed it, and I have nothing close to a unibrow, but every so often now I spy it returning and with a chuckle I make sure it does not haunt her dreams. I somehow doubt the inventor ever expected that to be an application.
Now different people have different favourite pocket knives, and most pilots I knew always had Leathermans. They were built such that they could open a 200 litre drum of aviation fuel, which I guess could be important in rural, out-of-the-way places. But they did not have corkscrews, and their can openers were not as good.
Nor did they come with tweezers to meet the needs of precocious 10-year-old daughters.
Update: I spoke with Little Slightly, and re the hair issue, at my urging, she has added the following:
‘I read this and, while I don’t particularly remember it, I’m completely certain it’s true as I still do this to my fiance. He’ll have one random hair on his face or arm that’s longer and darker than the rest and I can’t stop staring at it. Just so distracting. At this point he knows and will just say “pull it” so we can continue on in the conversation. So, yes, I know this had to have been me. Also confused what you all use tweezers for, because their primary use here is to pluck facial hair.’
Should I mention that the reason stated on the Climber was always for removal of wood splinters? Probably not.
Slightly Bemused‘s column appears here every Wednesday.
Pic: Victorinox
I remember having to tell Daddy Chainsaw, taking his first flight out of the country since the security changes after 9/11 to make sure he left his beloved penknife at home because it would be confiscated and he might actually get into trouble. Just as well because as we were parking the car for our flight, I told him to empty out his pockets and lo and behold, trusty Swiss Army Knife was there! It was carefully placed in the glove compartment and we went for our flight. He also couldn’t believe that he had to take off his shoes, belt and jacket, it was quite the eye opener for him.
Carrying a pen knife is such a “man” thing. Everything and anything you need in a small(ish), handheld implement that fits in your trouser pockets. I hope, in a couple of hundred years, when there’s an historical dig, your penknife is found and ends up on display in a museum.
I always carry my Swiss Army knife with me, I had a Climber for 28 years, given to me by a friend from Switzerland in 1990. It travelled everywhere with me (and even on a backpacking trip to India and Kashmir by my brother) until I forgot to remove it from my pocket before bringing my 11 year old to a gig in 2018, and it was confiscated. I have never forgiven Ed Sheeran.
My wife bought me a replacement Explorer knife for my birthday that year – which includes a magnifying glass (useless) and a Philips screwdriver (vital)!
No one should be without one.
Nice!
Some folks collect Hummel figurines, some bottlecap and others biscuit tins. I collect Swiss Army Knives – some Wenger (when they were independent) but mostly Victorinox. I don’t have all variants, just the ones that interest me. It began, like yourself, as a kid when I got my first knife. A Spartan. A gift from my father. We were avid campers and hikers and at the age of 12 he felt I should have one. My Mother was none too pleased but, well we were campers and it was a necessary tool up in the Wicklow Mountains and beyond.
I too was always rather pleased when MacGyver would whip out is knife to save the day. He used a few different knives in that show but mostly Climbers or Spartans. If you’re so inclined you can check this link out to see what he used and in which episode. There’s literally nothing you can’t find on the internet.
https://www.macgyveronline.com/macgyververse/equipmenttech/saks-used-in-each-episode/
Today I must have about 50 knives and as to my favourite model – still the Spartan – about 12 different variants including the somewhat rare Black Onyx and Celtic (the one with shamrocks) limited editions.
Anyways, a good SAK is an essential component in every young person’s toolbox IMO. Gives one an appreciation for self sufficiency as and when the need for the right tool arises.
Including the clipping of nose hair! Though I’d recommend one of these instead!
https://uk.zwilling-shop.com/Hair-clipper-for-nose-and-ears-stainless-ZWILLING-79854-001-0.html
What’s that one for ?
That’s for digging Boy Scouts out of horses hooves !
For dragging boy scouts out of girl-guides tents.
those were the days
also useful for creeping up to the boys camp and cutting their guy-lines as they sleep ..muh hahahahahaha
cutting their…. what?????
muh hahahahahaha
Lovely, I have a baby Swiss Army knife attached to my keys. It has a blade, tiny scissors, screwdriver/file, tweezers and pick. The blade is small enough to now be allowed in cabin baggage but I generally leave it at home just in case.
Not a Swiss army knife but I got a Leatherman ‘skeletool’ some years back and its a workhorse.
I use it almost every day, worth every single cent.
i carted one of those around south america for a year. getting on the lufthansa flight back from rio i forgot that it was packed into the hand luggage and it was taken from me by their security guys. they delayed the flight to wait for the security guy who was taking his time chatting to me about ireland. so we get on the plane finally and had to do a long walk of shame down to the end of the plane, getting filthy looks from all the passengers for delaying take off by about half an hour.
great yokes though the leatherman, shame i never got it back.
I have a nice french pocket knife, great for eating apples thoughtfully,
as a kid I used to get in desperate trouble for strapping the kitchen knives to my lower legs….for just in case.
I do like the way you worded that; I also started carrying my knife in my pocket to facilitate apple eating. It’s one of those ones that slightly wants, that you can open with one hand. My apple consumption has increased, mainly because I like eating apples after they’ve been cut in 4. The problem is that a nice sharp apple-cutting knife gets ruined doing all the stuff that a leatherman should be for, so I have a load of junk on my key-chain to make up for it.
A knife you can open with one hand…are you sure it’s not a flick knife, i.e. a knife used for protection in the cinema.
I understand it’s something to do with whether the user needs to push the blade continuously for it to lock into position; if the blade locks into the deployed position with a spring or through momentum (without your thumb pushing it all the way), then it’s legally troublesome in most countries. I asked my local policeman, he was of the opinion that the construction of the blade matters (principally length, the cops don’t like knives over about 5 cm). And then you have silly pants places like Ireland and the UK where you cannot even buy a kitchen knife without someone looking at you funny.
anyone who loves knives will swoon for this fellas The Almazan Kitchen Knife ( the videos are so peaceful, no jibber jabber, just a man cooking in the woods…double swoon )
https://youtu.be/TsusKiD9Fjg
I got a similar knife there from Santa
who needs porn https://youtu.be/gLnCRBgYOAk
be still my beating heart
I’ll have to save that for when I get home… ahem…
Love that guy’s vids. So simple and such a serene way to cook. Also, your French pocket knife. An Opinel per chance? I have a few of those and they’re lovely little knives.
it is, very pleasant in the main
a lovers gift I recall
Dr Douglas Home is superstitiously superstitious about knives as gifts. They risk cutting the link between the gifter and the giftee, I am constantly told… Hence I only buy knives for myself…
you might be onto something, he’s long gone that one
Blade runner?
ha ! :)
( he did go backwards on his rollerblades to show off one time….he had to go after that )
Funny that. As a 17 year old I was going out with a German girl over here on an exchange program. I stayed with her family the year before for a year and that’s when we connected. Anyways, she gave me my first Wenger SAK as a present. I loved it. Still have it.
Many years later I bought my wife some very fancy and expensive Japanese knives for her birthday. Absolutely freaked out with the gift. Not it a good way either. Apparently it’s immensely bad luck to gift knives in her little nordie world!
Was news to me that the superstition of gifting a knife implied severing the relationship. In fairness, my Fräulein and I did break up about a year after she returned from her exchange.
No such luck with me and Madam Sirius!
fierce superstitious those nordies
janet, In one of his videos he shows how to make trail bread, on his frying pan, with no words. I have done that a few times. He cooked his meat first (please, no hur hurs!) to give the fat to prevent the bread sticking.
One of my favourites is where after he has shown you carefully how to start a fire using just a stick, he shows you the easy way and pulls out a Zippo.
alickdouglas: my Mum had this thing that if you gave her something sharp, she had to give you back something blunt. I once bought her a certain type of kitchen knife she wanted. Razor sharp, and she loved it. But she gave me a coin because they are the most blunt thing. She never explained why – might be the same reason.
Old adage:
What’s more dangerous than a sharp knife while cooking?
A blunt knife while cooking
I was a buyer in a previous life. In the early 2000s many of my suppliers gave me gifts of Swiss Army Knives every time they thought my loyalty was waining.Seems some thought a nice Victorinox was a suitable proxy for good service. I gave most away. One, I’ve had for 25 years. Best tool I have by a long shot. Saved the day (or at least a trip to B&Q) many a time.
I found my little Victorinox at Place des Arts in Montreal a few years ago, it was lying on the grass the morning after a concert the night before. Whoever lost it, valued it as the knife was sharp as a razor. I hope that the person who lost it knows instinctively that it has been adopted into a good home and I do love it as if it were my own.
Lovely article Bemused!
Glad you enjoyed it.
And if you took it in and loved it all these years, that little one is your own :-)