The Great British Bake=Off Celebrity edition featuring Martin Kemp (back left), Harry Hill (centre), Bill Turnbull (front) and  Rosin Conaty (back right)

The Great British Bake-off returned last night for Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer.

Guess who was watching?

Frilly Keane writes:

Ye won’t believe what I did last night when I got in; t’was just after 8 and I was hopping about missing Celebrity Bake-Off and couldn’t find it on. Yep, I was all over the BBCs, the plus ones, HDs the lot, and after all my talk about Channel 4 n’all. It must be this early onset I keep hearing about.

Anyway, the main things first, I got to it, and set the box to record the season; and I laughed. Laughed, sniggered and laughed some more. OK not at the end bit with poor oul’ Bill Turnbull [the BBC Breakfast presenter shared with viwewers that he had been diagnosed with cancer].

I didn’t know of him ‘till last night, and I’m sure most of ye didn’t either, but I was as charmed as anyone to whom he might be a more familiar face with. All the best Bill.

Poor oul’ Roisin Conaty, she was the worst by a long ways, but was also one of the best; she did get a handshake after all so who cares about burnt pancakes and silly sieves.

Martin Kemp, for Jaysus sake, twitter is still drooling over him. But seriously, a 50-odd year old man wearing white pants around the kitchen – please, this is one of those things that the expression Face Palm is made for.

Shur’ of course he didn’t know his butter cream from his sponge batter. Showy pants no so showy baker. And here’s the thing, you could almost smell the buns flopping with his talk about baking at home with the kids. The producers got him right; all hairdo no showstopper.

Harry Hill, and this is absolutely the truth; I never gave him any attention before beyond his appearance on whatever game show I just happen to land on.

Like I knew who he was, and about his high shirt collars and biros, and I knew he was a doctor, but I didn’t realise how funny he actually is. And it was over cake that I connected with him enough to want to go to a show of his, and even ask for a selfie if I got the chance.

Who could possibly describe and present a Camilla Parker Bowles fantasy island getaway biscuit showstopper any better? And that finishing touch, the Union Jack beach towel; that’s a Palm D’Or Golden Globe Fringe Fizzy Water winner just there on its own.

Alongside his attitude to baking biscuits which is the same as my own ; too much intensive faffing around for something you barely have to notice to put inside your mouth, I think we treat cake the same.

We can both bake, but don’t take too serious to need a sugar thermometer or have a proving drawer fitted. I also suspect he’s not too pushed about getting in shop bought either.

Looking back now again, I think it was the way he suggested his hand to The Hollywood for the shake. The elegant and comedic timing of his effort was worth one all on its own. But shur’ doesn’t matter, Dr Harry Hill Very Funny Man won Celebrity Bake Off anyway.

Thoughts; well I enjoyed this Celebrity one more than any of the others before, and will definitely be printing off Paul’s crepes  for the tin of recipes to try out whenever.

And coming up over the next four weeks, and who might of interest to ye is Aisling Bea, and next week Clongowes old boy Nick Hewer will be wearing a shurt n’tie in the Bake Off Tent. I meself will be looking forward to seeing Tim Minchin, I have a suspicion he’s going to be worth paying attention to.

Frilly Keane can be followed on Twitter: @frillykeane

Pic: Channel 4

34 thoughts on “Sleb Cakes

        1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

          As a kid I used to skin the battenberg and just eat the cake. Now I like almonds, I must try to make one, though they seem fiddly.

    1. Neilo

      @Jimmy and Ami: Out and proud Anglophile small ‘r’ republican since the Year Of Our Lord 1967 here, so West Brit isn’t quite the burn you believe it to be. Now as penance, my children, you must recite ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling while playing the EastEnders drum break on Huntley & Palmer biscuit tins. Ego te absolvo, me ol’ chinas.

      1. anyone

        Huh? Is Neilo also Frilly?

        Would explain the sudden abrupt lapses into coherence every so often!

          1. Neilo Keane

            tis funny tho’

            although I’d say you’re more appalled at lads tinking you might be me

  1. martco

    missed it so thanks for the summary Frilly

    one thing – Martin Kemp & the white pants….I’d say really at this stage either himself or the brother probably feel they can wear what they want but I’m selfishly disappointed with them over the row with Tony Hadley….I had marked them down as one of those 80’s reunion type bands I wanted to go & see this year at one of the festivals before they disappeared again ‘cos seemingly they’re pretty decent and good craic live….oh well too late

  2. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

    Great fun. That bit at the end about Bill’s cancer was really touching. Poor man.
    Kemp was all cocky: pride comes before a fall. He has survived 2 brain tumours.
    I’ve always rated Harry Hill. TV Burp is hilarious. He’s incredibly perceptive.

  3. Lilly

    I’m so out of the baking loop that I looked at this pic of the slebs and figured I didn’t know any of ‘em except the woman in the red glasses who I thought was Darina Allen! Floppy buns on me.

  4. Frilly Keane

    Question for ye there Bake-Sheeters

    When did fairy cakes / queen cakes become cup cakes

    1. Lilly

      Circa Sex & the City. They’re different animals though. Cup cakes are basically fairy/queen cakes with a ton of decorative icing on top. Too much IMO.

    2. DeKloot

      When they started slatherin’ and tartin’ them in that moxy buttercream stuff. Jam and coconut is all you need for a rare fairy cake. Jam and coconut and I’m a happy Kloot.

  5. Matt Lucozade: The Only Reader of the Village

    Oh look! A programme about BAKING on TV! And look! One about ballroom dancing! And another about fat people trying to lose weight!

    Honest to god, do something yourself with your life and go out on a soup run for Dublin’s homeless or storm a LIDL or something instead of writing this tosh.

    Whole thing is half-baked.

    1. R.RILEY


  6. anne

    I want to bake a big chocolate cake & ate it all some evening.. but then I think of me skinny jeans, and my svelte figure. I do like me skinny jeans. Just sayin’

  7. Janet, I ate my Avatar

    reading these threads after moderation is impossible without coffee, an imagination and the sad insight into the two nastier commentators modus operandi

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