They Forgot To Remember To Hate You


From  top: Taoiseach Leo Varadkar (second right) and Minister for Health Simon Harris in Dublin Castle as results to repeal the 8th Amendment were coming through

Happened again yesterday. Happens most days now. They see you. A moment of recognition. A raising of the eyebrows. A gentle smile. And you do the same. It’s a moment. A kind of community. A sense of belonging. You’re not stopping. You never do. You don’t know each other well enough. But it’s still warm. Always was.

Then the smile stops. The lips tighten. The eyes deaden. Repeal remembered. They forgot to remember to hate you.

Many are from the Arts. The world of film, theatre, television and books. Compassionate. Good people. Some are cowards. That’s inevitable. But some are not. Some are even talented. Some are even activists. Some even reflect that in their work.

Their result was a foregone conclusion. A campaign too brilliant to fail. Initially, I was conflicted. But I was on their side. I had to be. That’s what community means. Until they forget to remember to hate you.

So I did what I always do. Did what I should do. Did what artists are supposed to do. Sought out the underdog. Searched for the other side. Listened to the opposite.

But this wasn’t a time for questions. This was a time for banal acquiescence. Blind obedience. Political absolutes. With or against. Feminist or misogynist. Yes or No. And when you vote, don’t forget to remember to hate.

Equality is a tool of division now. Compassion an ideological weapon. Human rights sans the human. So what if you’re conflicted? So what if this was devised to divide? I’d still be on their side. Still defend them. Still present both sides.

Even after the comical unfriending. The defiant blocking. The shameful prejudice. The rabid ridicule. By the new radicals. These fearless feminists. These political women and men. These masters in the art of never forgetting to remember to hate you.

I’m lucky enough to have friends on all sides. Some are artists. Some are activists. Some are neither. All are Humanists. Some are in complex agreement. Some have profound differences. All have fundamental fears. Morally. Ethically. Intellectually. They talk. They fight. They love. They get closer. And they teach me to reach for the impossible. They teach me to attempt to understand. They teach me to forget to remember to hate.

Some of them say a zygote has no identity. A fetus has got no soul. No reason to be included. No rationale to be alive. No constitution to protect them. And that’s the done deal now. The good people have spoken. Death by Democracy.

Even then, I’d still try to see their side. Still empathise. Still understand. Despite wondering how censorship had become a badge of honour. Despite realising you can’t pose the wrong questions. Despite asking yourself what kind of dumb fuck are you to forget to remember to hate?

Then that day happened. Not the election. Not the result. Not the campaign. All of that I could understand. It was that damned day in Dublin Castle.

As a community chanted their names. The two Health Ministers. One serving. One Taoiseach. Both Feminists. Sex symbols. Hashtag heroes. Psychopaths. A Bacchanalian blowjob for politicians presiding over the murder of women. The pimps of privatisation. The czars of cervical cancer. The austerity men who never forget to remember to hate you.

And you realise you’ll never understand. You realise you know nothing. You realise your soul is lost. Your mind is bludgeoned. Your heart is crushed. Your belief has bled out. And that might be why you notice those constant smiles that turn stern. That warm that turns cold. That compassionate rejection.

From people you still respect. From women and men you still adore. From the work you still love. From the community you still embrace. Even if they never forget to remember to hate you.

Terry McMahon is a filmmaker and can be found on Twitter @terrymcmahon69


101 thoughts on “They Forgot To Remember To Hate You

    1. Nobber

      It cannot have been easy to stand up for the pro life side in the uniformly liberal world of the arts.

      Terry is a rallying point for the silent ones who think feminism has gone too far. Who think the voiceless should be spoken for.

      He is a hero in my book. #Terry4life

          1. bisted

            …the Yes vote was a further statement by Irish people that the vice like grip of the church slowly being cast off…few groups have suffered more than artists.

            Today is Bloomsday, the day on which Ulysses is set…acknowledged widely as the worlds greatest work of literature…predictably it was banned in Ireland…like many ‘serious artists’ before and after, Joyce felt he had to leave Ireland…to flee the centuries old theocracy that people like Terry try to perpetuate…your day has gone Terry…

    2. Cu Cullan

      I had to read it a few times as it’s fairly hard to understand.. but once I got it: yes Terry for the rest of your life. At your funeral, it will start, of course we can never forget or forgive the day the knob voted no.. that’s it Terry.. a living hell..

  1. Jasper

    Never forget to remember to wear a leather jacket and sunglasses before reading Terry’s tales

  2. Boj

    This reads like a gospel or something. Lots of repetition. Lots of the same words being used. Lots of time wasted.

      1. Nigel

        Whatsisname, that Galway crime writer more like, decent enough in small doses… feck it what’s his name. ..

        Ken Bruen!

  3. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

    It’s kind of like a monologue you’d hear over a montage on telly. Sort of like The Handmaid’s Tale.

    1. Spaghetti Hoop

      I only read it because of these comments about the writing style. Read it in a Joseph O’Connor voice for Sunday Miscellany.

      1. The Old Boy

        Short sentences. Always use short sentences. Not even sentences. Use the same words. Use them again. Think you’re f—ing Hemingway.

  4. Nigel

    A major triumph of progressive politics and a rejection of a past mired in conservative misogyny but for God’s sake stop a minute and apreciate Terry’s manpain over some politicians he hates getting praise for doing the right thing.

    1. ollie

      Don’t be fooled. politicians only do the right thing for politicians
      On abortion:
      ‘I consider myself to be pro-life in that I accept that the unborn child is a human life with rights,’ I do not support abortion on request or on demand.”Vradkar, 2014.

      I am against voting in favour of legislation introducing abortion in Ireland, Simon Harris 2012.

      Cervical check scandal:
      Simon Harris says cancer redress ‘will not be fast tracked’

      Votes are all that matters, people don’t.

      1. Andrew

        I take it then that Terry was a No voter and lost a few luvvie mates because of it?
        I can sense the desperation.
        ‘Manpain’ is right! It must be killing him to see Harris et al get some credit from Terry’s artistic family’!
        Where is the love for Terry?It’s quite funny.

      2. Nigel

        Thank you. Without you to point this out no-one would have ever known, or worked out that one way to get politicians to do the right thing might be to let them know there are votes in it.

      3. tonyboy

        The times article is quite ominous
        Legal challenges before the will of the people is brought to law.
        Why were we not told that by government that this will happen ,or was this a cynical exercise by government.
        The people spoke
        The people said yes to women rights by repealing the eighth amendment and the government is allowing solicitors to dictate our constitution.
        So when will women be able to get terminations,?
        Will it be on the tenth of never, will it be a year?
        Will it be ten years,?
        No one voted for this

        1. Sentient Won

          The fake-o-rendum is yet to be ratified.

          Did you think nobody was going to question the extremely dodgy ‘official’ result?

          The people were told they voted Yes. But what if they actually voted No?

          Petitions, court cases, discovery and appeals all to follow.

          How will simple Simon get out of this one?

          1. tonyboy

            Actually its not the result which is the issue, its the fact a referendum that was to remove the eight amendment is now being challenged apparently.
            Who is the one who dreamt this up
            It is up to government now to enforce this result.
            Failure to do so is breach of our constitution,
            Which is because the government is now stalling an order by the people to reform our constitution.
            They got their orders, now its shape up or ship out.
            The fact this is now raising its ugly head means maybe this was deliberate and varadka and his ilk has no intention to enact this change.
            Maybe he thought this will improve our standing
            Maybe it was to deflect from other issues
            Its time people marched and demanded the will of the people carried out
            Can you imagine now with the conscientious clause in doctors contracts, the fact that religious orders who own hospitals could also refuse to terminate
            The only solution is abortion clinics who then bill the HSE to provide the service
            They really did not think this out

          2. Sentient Won

            Feck right, feck law, feck truth, it’s the mob that rules: Do or Die.

            If the mob says we should kill all Wexford men and enslave all Wexford women then by gum that’s what we’ll do. Cos that’s the logic of your position tonyboy and the government will have to comply.

            Feck right, feck law, feck truth, it’s the mob that rules: Do or Die.

            [In the meantime, the Mob that controls the mob buys elections, referendums, media, politicians and policy.]

            Tyranny by virtue signalling.

  5. missred

    As always with Terry’s writing I see here, there is a point in there somewhere but it is hidden behind an awful lot of naval gazing self indulgence.

      1. missred

        Papi, for all I know there could be umpteen amounts of counter-culture references to sailors, purposely obscure ones to weed us out who are not in possession of Terry’s vast intellectual brain

  6. Optimus Grime

    Awww Terry why use 400 words when only 4 will do…..Terry’s lost the run of himself after we all said that This is Ireland speech was good..

    1. missred

      I’m just waiting for him to hit back at some point that it’s our fault for not seeing his point and that we’re all either trolls or too stupid to appreciate his artistic style or see what he’s trying to write. That or we’re all FG shills.

      1. Frilly Keane

        Over on Twitter
        And pretty much around the same time as the thread goes live

        Although I understand from Fluff twas Facebook he used the last time to get over all the BS critics

        Just so as yis know
        According t’ @Tony
        We’re all still pyschos and trolls
        And hes not a bitta’ve one
        Nor is that other crybaby
        By the looks a things
        Keeps him company in the Echo chamber of
        Loving themselves

  7. Yep

    Surely if an artist was to seek out the underdog they would be on the Yes side seeing as how archaic and detrimental the amendment was?

    I’m not an artist though so can’t comment on what they are “supposed” to do like Tez said…

  8. mildred st meadowlark

    Here we are, all united in our scorn of Terry’s pretentious drivel.

    At least we can all agree on that.

      1. mildred st meadowlark

        Where’s Sentient Won so I can hug him? I’m feeling unseasonably affectionate.

        1. The Old Boy

          A quick search by date reveals that he hasn’t been in this parish since the 24th of May. Make of that what you will.

          1. Brother Barnabas

            no. i don’t want to be thinking about bertie’s sexgoo while i’m having my lunch. please.

          2. Bertie Blenkinsop

            I meant to wipe our hands after lunch.
            Always with the tone lowering.

          3. mildred st meadowlark

            I’m actually surprised Janet isn’t here…

            She loves an aul filthy chat.

          4. Janet, I ate my Avatar

            who the hell thinks it’s a good idea to put me on speaker phone ?

          5. Janet, I ate my Avatar

            let’s just say the wind has been taken out of my sails for today, morto
            and I’m hiding

          6. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

            Jaykers tonight! The biggest thing in my day was buying a present for my Dad for Father’s Day. I’d take your embarrassment over that tedium any day.

          7. Janet, I ate my Avatar

            I smugly got my father’s day stuff sorted last week
            So have been free to get myself into trouble since
            It’s obviously far too early to work because it’s not quite down to the wire enough yet to be fun

  9. mildred st meadowlark

    Also Terry, while I’m here, find yourself an editor.

    At least half of that was utterly unnecessary and dull as beige paint. I’m sure you had a point, but using beat poetry as means of conveying your irritation with the herd mentality, or whatever it is you’re positing only serves to make it seem that you don’t actually understand the point you’re trying to make.

  10. A person

    Eh, why not say why? Your are against. it. In proper. sentences. Without using hate all. the time? Why not put a point without trying to portray you are somehow, the loser in this debate. Why not?

  11. Not On Your Nelly

    That’s a picture of that man who likes abuse. *Tom Hardy points at woman and says “that’s bait”

  12. Chris

    Less people hate you than you think! On my bad days, when my inner monologue resembles this kind of writing, I remember that the old saying is true, ‘a’holes always seem to come across other a’holes’. I try curb my cynicism and not to project the worst of it outwards, this strategy actually works and I seem to come across nicer people (who probably still feel I’m an a’hole, he he).

  13. Cu Cullan

    Before this Terry you were just a bit of a lost soul.. people could feel pity for you.. you had suffered.. I’m afraid that’s gone now.. you’re just a horrible man who thinks he has the right to inflict untold suffering on another.. because you think something..

  14. Chris

    ….also Broadsheet how come Terry can use potty mouth here and I can’t, in fact I stopped posting a while ago here because I was outraged at being censored, only then to forget and start posting again…it made me think to myself….”what kind of dumb fupp are you to forget to remember to hate?” quote Terry McMahon, Artist

    1. Chris

      Oh Broadsheet, how you’ve faltered, you’re so tied in knots by your own censorship, you’ve censored my post and hence misquoted your own source. Hoisted by your own petard!

      (explainer…I’m replying to my own post because Broadsheet censored it, even though it merely quoted their own source material!)

    2. Frilly Keane

      ’cause he’s an Artist
      Gets to use stuff with Artistic in front ov’em
      Like Licence
      And Grants
      And Exemptions

      I just bloggard me way around the naughty list woo woo words

      I wouldn’t dream ah’ calling meself an Artist
      Or Writer

      Well, not the carry-on around here anyway

  15. gringo

    He said that Dr Death and Sympathetic Simon threw the women of Ireland a maggoty old bone, and they lapped it up, thinking it was caviar.

  16. Frilly Keane

    I dunno
    ‘Suppose t’was Fu pp for ck that yer manno plugged in himself

    Anyone else tink this was a Kevin Higgins poem
    Well whatever they’re called
    At first

    I didn’t know t’was Terry, the Broadsheeter Hater, MaccyMahon until I saw ye cribbing

  17. Picard

    Terry, can we forget about the navel gazing. And to go back to a since deleted Broadsheet post where you wrote about cupping an actors testicles during an audition, with out first getting there permission? Is sexual assault okay if you write in short sentences.

    You really are an awful person

  18. Sheik Yahbouti

    Apology accepted, Terry. I’m sure de wimmin and all can still love you, whilst disagreeing with you.

    1. Sheik Yahbouti

      Incidentally, Terry, the next time a ten year old (having been raped and brutalized nine months earlier) is due to give birth, can we count on you to attend to give encouragement?

  19. Nobber

    Terry on Twitter just now – “Wrote to the editor of Broadsheet to say this is my last piece for them. Love what @broadsheet_ie does but the rabid prejudice from the nameless-faceless cowards in the comments section is like a cancer of the soul for both the trolls and their targets.”

    Well done. You haters and trolls and keyboard warriors with your sociopathic feeding frenzy have driven a good man off the website. How dare he have a different opinion? He must be silenced.

    Tell me again that the pro-life side is heartless and cruel. Tell me again that you love free speech. REPEAL has been REVEALed.

    I could weep. You have disgraced yourselves again.

    1. Optimus Grime

      Nobody has a problem with Terry’s opinions it’s just how he conveys them….I’ll miss him but hey if you want to give it you gotta be prepared to take it. That’s the modern world you can either accept it or exit stage left.

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