Slightly Bemused writes:
I have been having trouble sleeping recently. And the other day I figured out a reason. I felt I needed an extra hour of sleep before the schlep to my work. So I used my kitchen egg timer, a simple clockwork jobbie, and it ticks. I fell right off.
Many years ago, as I started on my travels, my beloved aunt Nuala gave me a travel alarm clock. A simple folding job, when closed it was encased for travel, and unfolded open when needed. Mostly I kept it closed, under my pillow when no bedside table was available. And it ticked, quietly as it lulled me to the land of nod.
I have had many other clocks, but there was something sweet in the gentle lure of that one. Without making a pun, I am not sure where it wound up, but I always slept well with it by my side.
These days I have a digital clock radio. It uses a system known as a phase locked loop to ensure it keeps time. My digital phone is locked to the phone company’s time clock. But my radio drifts by a minute a week. My phone company occasionally drifts.
But a man called John Harrison, not a watch maker but a carpenter, invented a clock running on gears and springs that was less than a second out across thousands of miles of turbulent seas to allow sailors know where they were. A clock made in the 1700s by the hand of a carpenter was, and possibly still is, more accurate than my digital clock. And my aunt’s little clock kept better time. The tick of the kitchen timer lured me, with true clockwork precision. The tick of the new clock is merely that.
Strangely I am reminded of the wonderful television adaptation of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy from the 80s.They thought digital watches were the greatest thing ever, and Arthur Dent got upset when he lost his. Admittedly he lost his arm too, decided to go mad, and chased a sofa. I am not sure what any of that had to do with digital watches.
Where I work I am constantly reminded of that show. The lift talks to me. Thankfully does not say ‘Glad To Be Of Service’, but it is not far off. And we play what I like to call lift lottery. Different people can call it as a priority, so you get in, and think you are going up, but you may end up going down. A lot more more accurate than my current clock, it knows where it is going, but sometimes I do not.
Somewhere out there is a timepiece that kept time to the dreams of my soul. I hope I can find it, and pass it on to the Little lady of my heart, and it can keep her safe too.
Slightly Bemused‘s column appears here every Wednesday.
Alamy
Lovely article, as always, Slightly.
If the Little one is interested in timepieces, I bought a lovely Mullingar pewter pocket watch, mechanical movement, loses about 2 minutes a week, in a souvenir shop in Kilkenny city (close to the castle) during the summer. It cost me all of 35 Euros.
Nice time piece Slightly :)
(Any puns understood from that are intended)
Heh!
love it
I have an old Dior wrist watch my Daddy got me,
it’s my pride and joy
Good stuff Slightly. I too am having trouble sleeping lately which is very unusual for me, once asleep it is usually only a local neighbor and his fecking stupid leaf blower that can wake me prematurely. One of these days I will insert that leaf blower where the wind don’t blow. For some reason I wake around 4 hours into my slumber and have a horrible feeling of restlessness, it feels like I need to get up. Usually after turning over a dozen times the sandman draws me back in. I have a clock like that too, I always marveled at how it folded up the way it does and I find the ticking noise is preferable with the case closed. Watch out for the new smart ovens, you can use your phone to start the roast beef cooking in the oven at 5pm ahead of your arrival at 7pm after battling though the evening commute, they no doubt will have some talking in them too. Happy Christmas and New Year Slightly, to you and yours.
I haven’t slept in a year, I’m literally running on fumes.
Getting a super king from Santa and a mattress designed by the gods, and hoping that helps.
Also gonna up my milage on runs and try read at bed instead of internets.
Good luck in your quest for sleep…those leaf blowers are from Satan’s workshop.
…try filtering the blue light rom your devices as the night rolls in.
Works for some.
ta
*from
Hey Janet,
Ask your doc to prescribe you some melatonin.
They come as little tables you dissolve under your tongue.
Non addictive and will help you get back into your regular sleep pattern.
They worked wonders for me
ta Micko,
I think it’s lack of real activity ( by my usual standards ),
The baby still in the room because the landlady won’t remove the other double,
unconscious stress job is still closed,
and other related COVID crap.
Sure I’ll give it a go, unfortunately a few good malt whiskies is off the cards.
Ah that sucks…
Hope all is well other than that ;)
Happy Mattress Janet!, enjoy. I hope to move house in the new year and if there is anything left in the budget a new bed and mattress is priority. It’s a bit of a minefield buying these things, you have firmness, support, gel, memory foam, is it reversible, is it springs, spirals, foam cylinder thingys and so on, and then they say throw it out after 8 years and get a new one!
The leaf blower guy probably worked in Satans workshop himself making that tool of terror :-)
Good call on the running, Happy Christmas and NY Janet.
Adopts Swiss Tony voice:
‘Buying a new mattress is like making love to a beautiful woman: Some will be firm with you while also being supportive. Some you may gel with, others will have an incredible memory and some will NOT be reversible…ever. And after all that, they may throw you out after a few years and get a new one’.
I heard the ones with a good memory tend to make you sweat
haha Paulus
your comment got me thinking of all the different types of lovers,
has anyone else experienced the ” COVID lockdown ” effet of random x’ s getting in touch …. people had way too much eh hem…time…on their hands
I always love your little interludes in my day, Paulus. Thank you :-)
+ 1
Likewise with your own domestic tales S.B. :)
Stay away from foam cylinder and all memory foam mattresses!!
Two reasons:
1) They make you sweat.
2) The memory foam is supposed to bounce back. It doesn’t.
Not even on an expensive one. We know, we paid the price, twice! And because the foam doesn’t bounce back you end up laying down in a mould of yourself that when you try to move in the night feels like trying to roll up a bleedin’ hill! And that doesn’t bode well for any impromptu of the moment “how you doin?” :)
I feckin’ hate all foam mattresses! They’re a con, and I wasted a lot of feckin’ money on them finding that out! :)
me ma always says, good mattress, good shoes and a few quid stuffed in both
Good advice Clamps, cheers
Edit – and Janet, and Paulus!
Good advice all round; let me sleep on it.
Please do note, it’s the “all memory foam” mattresses that need to be avoided.
A lot of decent mattresses come with a foam (or gel) top layer, with what I would call a regular or near traditional type mattress under that. We got one of those type in the end… Can’t recall the brand.
…the best of both worlds,
a separate memory foam topper(with removable cover) on a pocket spring flippible mattress for the win…that’s my tuppence worth.
+1!
I remember when my Dad and Mum bought the first new mattress that I recall. My mother said it was the first time in years the two of them did not roll into each other. Like, they liked to cuddle, and with 10 kids obviously something more. But they also liked to actually sleep, occasionally, and for that rolling into each other did not help.
This weekend I will finally sleep on my own new mattress. I bought it for the Little one, as she has dust mite allergies. And besides, the last mattress sprung a spring. So I am dreaming of a quiet Christmas morn.
Good for you Slightly. May you wake up fresh, rested and ready for the day this Christmas morn :)
back at ya Liam
Enjoyed that Slightly -ta! A welcome distraction. A technique that works for me for sleeplessness – whilst in bed, raise an arm straight in the air, hold it there until you’re exhausted, sleep ensues – promise!
Very nice. You seem like a great man