No, Seriously. Who Writes This Crap?

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“Our history tells us that even in the darkest times we, The Irish, have the capacity not simply to look towards the light but to find the light and the Irish Film and Television Acadamy’s beautiful bronze statuette with its triskele reminds us of our Celtic ancestors who built Newgrange.

“There, rather like a cinema projector, a shaft of light shines right to the back of that ancient tomb signalling the beginning of a new year and from that point on the nights get shorter the days get longer, spring bursts through the weary winter and life, hope endure.”

President Mary McAleese at the IFTAs

Your Majesty. 1997 called. They’d like their meaningless, arse-shudderingly faux-Heaney prose back. Thanks.

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