We’re Back, Baby

at

krystle-teaser

A padded wall at the newly renovated Krystle nightclub

Via Krystle nightclub, Harcourt Street, Dublin 2:

Krystle, Dublin’s only open-air nightclub, is set to reopen in spectacular fashion this weekend following a€1.1 million refurbishment.

Rarr.

The Penthouse and the Suite, the nightclub’s renowned VIP areas, have also undergone a full renovation.

These exclusive areas offer a safe haven for those who wish to relax and unwind behind closed doors, whilst those seeking complete privacy may indulge in a new luxurious private room, which has been created in the Penthouse.

SPLUTTER!

This deluxe new suite will accommodate groups of up to twelve and boasts a dedicated service bell and private en-suite.

Have we learned NOTHING?

*rings service bell*

Krystle (Facebook)

Thanks Verity Morrison

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49 thoughts on “We’re Back, Baby”

  2. Jimmee

    “Have we learned NOTHING?”

    If people want to spend their own money making a muppet out of themselves, more power to them.

  3. louislefronde

    I expect if I go there, Ill see the usual suspects in their blue suits with brown shoes slithering down the revamped carpets of Krystal, wiping the remnants of coke from their nostrils while salivating over some young one recently liberated from Wesley!

    Oh the horror of it all!

    (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ

    2. martco

      presumably the architect specified the axminster be the variant pre-treated with scotchgard for those vomity incidents

    3. Louis Lefronde

      Oh dear, I’ve been moderated by Broadsheet for a satirical dig at the Krystal clientele . What would Voltaire say?

      3. James Chimney

        “To the living one owes respect, to the dead one owes the truth”

        He mentioned nothing about the orange and annoying though.

  4. Sarah Murphy

    COMPLETE PRIVACY
    IN NIGHTCLUB
    YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES YOKES

  6. Boy M5

    Indo celebrity hacks and their model of the month will be seen gurning while lathered in self adoration and fighting back massive insecurity and self loathing at 3am.

    While I’m tucked in bed, fast asleep, snoring away.

    2. Nell496

      I’ll be doing the same:-) Maybe if we both went to ‘newly refurbished Crystal’ we could meet up and ‘snore away’ …..together.

  7. bisted

    …£1.1m…that’ll be a Tracey Emin neon then…as #prayforgaybo used to say…’nobody ever went broke by under-estimating peoples taste’

  8. Harry Molloy

    I always felt more at home in Krystle than anywhere else in Dublin. Normal, non threatening folk who actually look good and take care of themselves.

  10. Jocky

    I’ve done some damage in there over the years. I’ll have to take a trip home soon and revisit the scene.

    1. Yoda_

      You don’t do damage in a place like that. It’s for cosseted little kids who’ve never strayed more than a quick taxi from Dublin 2 back to Dublin 4.

      You do damage at a very risky house party on the NCR after a night on E at The Apartments in the mid 1990s. THAT is damage.

  13. Spaghetti Hoop

    Love you Sarah Murphy.
    But hey, so many OTHER spots in the city to get happy and boogie, thanks be ta jayzuz.

    1. Neilo

      @Spags: what are some decent places in the city for a couple of spry fortysomethings to bust a move while enjoying a ‘drank’? We’re funkateer-types, not really into that housey-housey music.

    3. Yoda_

      Yeah, like Lillie’s, it somehow sees a place where you can pay women for sex is a good theme for a nightclub.

    1. Yoda_

      Careful Dav, you’ll upset the D4 Hacks and Citywest posh gaffs drug dealer set. You’ll have the Indo writing a hate piece on you.

  16. Neilo

    Lovely sentiment there, dav. I’m curious to know precisely how this young woman pissed on your chips.

    1. dav

      don’t see how a memorial = “chip pissing” but whatever. It would be my hope that a sobering reminder of such a tragedy might prevent future patrons doing the same thing. I would use examples of crosses along the roadside to try and stop speeding drivers.

      1. ahjayzis

        Right.

        Why doesn’t every pub have a memorial to George Best, so?

        Dav, you’re aware alcohol is far more dangerous right? NOT blushirt myth.

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