And so, friends, fellow pop-culture gadflies, drifting perverts, netizens all, in a few short hours the first working day of a shallow and easily distracted new era will draw to a close.

Already, the memories: Glenda, Joe, the tweets, Mattie McGrath, the dog on the lawnmower, that thing about Derek…

Jesus.

Tell you what it’s been so far, kids. It’s been a double rainbow.

A double rainbow all the way…

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