One minute version.
1) Labour focus groups had shown voters wanted their candidates to be more obnoxious and shrill.
2) She was literally monged on gin, Red Bull and quaaludes.
3) Her advisers told her: “Go out there and do a Mansergh.”
4) Hey, you spend the afternoon selling out your principles and then go to an industrial estate to be grilled by a sighing, mad-haired loon, and not end up a jibbering wreck. Try it.
5) Twink wrote a musical about it.
6) Joe Higgin’s slightly creepy, melodious voice twisted her melon.
7) Fierce – sadly unrequited – pash for Coveney (It’s a Clark Kent thing).
8 ) She’s Palin to Gilmore’s McCain and she’s ‘gone rogue’.
9) Vincent dropped the hand in the green room.
10) Because referring to oneself in the third person is always a precursor to losing one’s shit.