5. “No they’re queuing for the shitters, there isn’t a queue for the pissers” (A man shouting to his friend in queue for the Portaloo)
4. “We knew this girl called Edel and she looked – honestly – like an elephant. So we called her Edelephant.” (man in tent)
3. Respectable looking middle aged man buys burger at Rebel Burger van.
Guy Who Is Clearly On Drugs: (pointing at burger) “Ah man you should eat that!”
Respectable Looking Middle-Aged Man: “Sorry, what?”
G.W.I.CO.D (shouting enthusiastically): “You should totally eat that!”
R.L.M.A.M: (deadpan) “Oh, so you are suggesting I should eat the burger that I have just purchased?”
G.W.I.C.O.D: (Relieved his point has been understood) “Yeah man, eat it!”
2. Saturday morning, a group of lads eating their breakfast outside their tents. A guy who probably hasn’t slept approaches them.
Guy Who Hasn’t Slept: (politely) “Sorry lads have you any ketamine?”
Lads: “Er…no.”
Guy Who Hasn’t Slept: “No problem, it’s a pity though…good market to get into.”
1. Man walking into the main arena with friends: “So I had this dream where there was like a party and I dreamt this phone number and I remembered the number when I woke up, so I rang it and I got this guy’s voicemail. Anyway I left him a voicemail explaining what happened…but he never got back to me.”
Overheard at the Electric Picnic (Meg.ie)