In the Observer, Dublin writer Paul Murray (above), author of Skippy Dies, recalled his first love (Guns ‘n’ Roses) and his time at quasi-thuggish Blackrock College.
AND brilliantly named and shamed the moronic bullies who made his life miserable and who, we assume, are currently working in “corporate banking”.
Yay.
Getting your own back: this is how you do it.
Our tormentors came in many shapes and sizes. Richard Black was what you might call the “classic” bully, thick of arm and low of intelligence. He had hit puberty at around eight years old and all through primary school, while the rest of us were figuring out how to transform our Transformers, he had towered above us like King Kong’s attitudinally maladjusted, Benson & Hedges smoking, compulsively masturbating younger brother. By 11, however, he had dramatically stopped growing, and now almost everyone was taller than him, which cruel twist of fate had, in a rage-against-the-dying-of-the-light type way, pushed him to new extremes of violence and terror.
More insidious and common were people like Liam Conboy, scion of a wealthy family, who had worked out that it didn’t matter what grades he got and so devoted himself instead to undermining the system and those pitiable chumps who tried to play by its rules. Apart from a freakishly large head, Liam Conboy didn’t have the physical presence of Richard Black, but he made up for these shortcomings in sadism and persistence and knowing just what buttons to push. Richard Black would strangle you with your own tie or throw you into the thorn-bushes; but Liam Conboy was the one who would spit down your back, pour Pot Noodle into your schoolbag, spread rumours about your mother.
Richard Black and Liam Conboy (and we do hope they are your names).
Ha Ha.
Once Upon A Life: Paul Murray (Observer)
UPDATE: The article though Tweeted today was published in June 2010 (FFS). We are very sorry. We have given Bodger two dead legs, a wedgie and stole his lunch money for messing up. The post will remain unless there are massive objections