This undated photo provided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints shows Mormon missionary Mason Wells, 19, of Sandy, Utah, who was injured in Tuesday's explosion at the Brussels airport. Mormon church officials say three missionaries including Wells were seriously injured in the Brussels airport attack. (Mormon Church via AP)

Mormon missionary Free Mason Wells

He’s a latter day miracle.

A crew cut Zelig of Muslim extremist terrorist outrages.

‘This is his third terrorist attack,’ his father, Chad, told ABC News.

Mason was a block away from the Boston Marathon finish line, the site of the bombing, when it detonated.

He was also in Paris on November 13.

Mason is at a Belgian hospital and is expected to make a full recovery.

A Mormon official told Mason’s parents that ‘despite being on the ground and bleeding he actually had a sense of humour and remained calm through the situation.’

*cough*

Brussels attacks: Teenager also survived Boston and Paris bombings (MetroUK)

Pic: Mormon Church via AP

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43 thoughts on “Abmormal”

  3. Tish Mahorey

    Of course if was a Muslim, they’d suspect he had something to do with all three attacks.

  4. Owen

    So what you’re saying is that the Mormons might be in with the radical Islamist’s on this bombing fad?

    Ok, from now on lads full screening for all those with head scarfs, beards, burkas, and matching cheap suits.

    1. Owen

      eh, I doubt any many Palestinian children are Mormon, let alone have been to Paris, Boston AND Brussels….

      Oh wait, you mean the frequent bombs. Ahh, right, …. I have you now Ted.

    2. shitferbrains

      Or like any Israeli child within range of Hamas rockets who has to run for the cellars. Paul.

      1. Yeaaaa

        Ever heard of Iron Dome? Well, it shoots down 87-90% of Hamas rockets. http://www.economist.com/blogs/economist-explains/2014/07/economist-explains-12

        What do the Palestinians use to stop Israeli bombs?

        Within 7 weeks in 2014, 10,626 and 10,895 were wounded (including 3,374 children, of whom over 1,000 were left permanently disabled). In the same period, 5 Israeli civilians (which includes ONE child was killed).

        You should go and educate yourself by going to Palestine and see the inhuman treatment of Palestinians for yourself instead of making your opinion from Sky News.

  9. ahjayzis

    Do Mormons practice eugenics or something?

    They’re always like stock-photo levels of handsome.

    1. Rowsdower

      They dont drink coffee, so they dont get that “Jesus fupping christ, I could really use a cup of coffee” face you see a lot of people walking around with

      1. ahjayzis

        Yeah only the select few can really pull off the whole “holy fook I’m gasping for a coffee/pint/cig/premarital sex” look.

        I’m fortunate to have it totally down to a tee ;o)

    1. Owen

      Dude, he’s Mormon…. wrong ‘M’. Come on pal, keep up.

      You should have gone to Trish’s religious tutorial above.

      1. Tish Mahorey

        If the same Muslim man was at all three events, you WOULD be suspicious.

        In any case, who knows who is really driving these attacks. It’s certainly not the petty criminals turned terrorists who carry out the bombings.

        1. Smashmouth

          But we do know who is driving these attacks

          We also know the underlying reasons for them taking place

          You should put some time aside to actually educate yourself on the subject

          1. Tish Mahorey

            You can bet I’m far more educated on this subject than you are.

            You just stick to letting others do your thinking for you.

          2. Smashmouth

            You’re more educated on this matter than me? Ok

            Then why do you need to be educated as to who is responsible for the attacks along with their motives?

            I’m genuinely intrigued

  15. postmanpat

    What are the odds? better than winning the lotto probably. Just like shark attacks. Someone do the math.

  16. Kieran NYC

    The *cough* links to a Yahoo Answers page with the question

    “Why are Mormons so highly recruited for positions in the CIA and FBI?”

    1. H

      Finally! I was expecting the comments to be all about how his Dad had unwittingly blown his cover…

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