Broadsheet Trailer Park: Yoga Hosers

at

yogahosers

What you may need to know:

1.
Two convenience store clerks (Lilly-Rose Depp & Harley Quinn Smith) discover a plot to kill film critics with mini anus-crawling Nazis made from bratwurst.

2. It’s Kevin Smith everybody. Cracking himself up since 1994.

3.
No doubt the starring role for his daughter played a big part in persuading dog-smuggling Johnny Depp to continue further down the path of career suicide.

4.
Yoga Hosers is the middle part of a trilogy, because such quality demands a trilogy. Next up… Moose Jaws.

5. Smith is responsible for 98% of worldwide ice hockey jersey sales. Fact. A Mumu can’t be far.

6.
A lot of folks still rate Smith. A lot of folks are wrong.

7. Broadsheet prognosis: Rhymes with trite. A big, steaming pile of trite.

Release Date:
July 29.

(Mark writes about film and TV at WhyBother.ie)

23 thoughts on “Broadsheet Trailer Park: Yoga Hosers

  1. Daddy Wilson

    What was that one he made that was kind of half about the Westboro Baptists? That was good

  2. arghonaut

    Does this guy ever review good films? He’s the film reviewer equivalent of Cycledub. Where’s the value in pointing at a steaming pile of turd other than allowing him to make terrible, dare I say trite, jokes about it…

    Kevin Smith not that good at making movies shocker!

    1. munkifisht

      Well, Kevin Smith has made some seminal films. Clerks for one, Chasing Amy for another. His product has deteriorated but those two films give him carte blanche to churn out turd after turd and call it art.

      1. arghonaut

        Which would probably place you in your mid 30s, I’m guessing. I dare you to go back and watch them again, though. They are saccharine in the extreme. That Chasing Amy speech… even just re-watch that and tell me that film is seminal.

        Joey Lauren Adams voice, too…. jesus.

  3. mauriac

    The doom of Fate was, Be thou a Dandy! Have thy eye-glasses, opera-glasses, thy Long-Acre cabs with white-breeched tiger, thy yawning impassivities, pococurantisms; fix thyself in Dandyhood, undeliverable; it is thy doom.

  4. mauriac

    Elegant Vacuum; serenely looking down upon all Plenums and Entities as low and poor to his serene Chimeraship and Nonentity laboriously attained! Heroic Vacuum; inexpugnable, while purse and present condition of society hold out; curable by no hellebore..

  5. Pigs

    Dear BS. I’m sure there are a multitude of aspiring film writers out there. Surely it wouldn’t be difficult to find someone better and more insightful than this clown? Reading about movies and watching them does not make on an authority….. Just because one can doesn’t mean one should.

  6. PeteS

    These Mark Ryall posts are becoming as annoying as the LJG posts. If you want to post a trailer, fine. Keep your editorial crap to your blog or whatever.

  7. The People's Hero

    Mark Ryall….. Blogging does not make you a ‘Journalist’… Why bother? Seriously…. whybother?

  8. rotide

    I like Kevin Smith, this looks dodgy though.

    As for Mark, I’d imagine Tarantino and Wes Anderson are his idea of the pinnacle of film making.

      1. dylad

        I don’t like the symmetrical thing, it messes with my brain somehow- which is a pity because otherwise I like his films.

        1. mildred st. meadowlark

          I find it ridiculously soothing. Fantastic Mr Fox is a great watch, if you can get around the symmetrical thing.

      2. rotide

        I like wes anderson as well, to a point. He’s a good director and sometimes makes some good films. Sometimes he makes absolute stinkers. For some reason he’s held up as the go-to icon of modern cinema. Literally 60% of vimeo is made up of homage pieces to him by people like Mark.

        The less said about Tarentino the better. He made 3 great films including one masterpiece (Jackie Brown) and hasn’t made a good film since.

        1. mildred st. meadowlark

          I only saw Jackie Brown recently. What a great movie. I’m very fond of Kill Bill too.

  9. Caroline

    I like Kevin Smith but I doubt this will be as entertaining as his Prince mega-anecdote.

  10. Miq

    Kevin Smith’s last good movie was Clerks 2.
    Zack And Miri was okay. Cop Out was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. This seems to have surpassed it.

    Good lord, Kevin. Go back to the View Askewniverse.
    What is this poo?

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