33 thoughts on “Ask A Broadsheet Reader

  1. Youkilledmyfatherpreparetodie

    That’s just a maybug, otherwise known as the (wonderfully named) cockchafer. You only see them this time of year, as the first name suggests.

    So no need to nuke your house from space. For now.

    1. DavidT

      Yes, a maybug. Perfectly harmless, lovely little creatures, leave them be. They sometimes end up on their back, unable to right themselves. Give them a helping hand.

      1. Harry Molloy

        They used to fly into the window of my work in the west in massive numbers for about a week every year and were always covered with little babies.

        They tasted delish

      1. Starina

        never. easier now, in fact, with the end being so close as well. u dying love doesn’t demand such a long-term investme t

      1. dav

        until the burrowing through your ear drum occurs as they seek to leave the host through the tear ducts….

        1. Spaghetti Hoop

          Nah….once in the ear the eggs travel swiftly to the intestine where they hatch and make merriment for the rest of the host’s gut-wrenching days. Sweet little critters.

          1. dav

            it is said that if you concentrate hard enough you can hear them during bowel movements…

          2. Spaghetti Hoop

            And as they grow in size you can spot the odd elbow protrude from your abdomen.

          3. Nigel

            Okay so you’ve got a hundred wriggling insect carapaces gnawing through your skin, but the blood that spurts out and sprays all over the walls is supposed to show you the initials of the person you’re going to marry.

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