The Great Broadsheet Burger-Off


Gourmet Burger Kitchen’s ‘Bacon Pesterella’

Are you hungry?

Ian writes:

Gourmet Burger Kitchen has introduced a range of delicious new bites, burgers, fries and drinks to their much loved existing menu which is available NOW across all Gourmet Burger Kitchen locations including, South William St, South Anne St, Temple Bar, Liffey Valley and Swords Pavilions.

Burger lovers can choose from a wide range of brand new GBK burgers including the Bacon Pesterella €11.25, a chargrilled or Japanese panko breadcrumbed /fried chicken burger, with mozzarella, basil pesto, crispy bacon, basil mayo, GBK house relish and salad.

To celebrate the new menu, we have a FIFTY EURO voucher to give to a broadsheet reader to spend at their leisure in Gourmet Burger Kitchen.

We want you to create YOUR own burger.

To enter please complete this sentence…

‘My burger, I shall call the_________________, consists of____________________’

Lines MUST close at 3pm MIDNIGHT!


57 thoughts on “The Great Broadsheet Burger-Off

  1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

    Mine shall be called the hipster special. Vegan patty (go for it, I dunno what you’d put in it), avocado, za’atar, hummus, dukkah and zhoug dressing.

    Mmmmmmmmmm. DEEEEEEEEEEEEElicious.

  2. AngryMcAngryface

    My burger, I shall call the Mattie McGrath, consists of 1lb of distasteful bull, diced up arguments, half baked ideas, fried religious iconography and slow cooked logic. It will be served on a bed of comeuppance in a sesame bun.

  3. Toe up

    I my burger will be called The Mustering of the Harrier because I have no imagination and it was the subject of the next post when I scrolled down.

  4. Paul

    My burger, I shall call ‘The Cleaner’, consists of jalapeño, wasabi, aleppo pepper on top of a chilli and horseradish beef burger, gochujang charred bun served with harissa and sriracha rosemary fries.

    The name only becomes apparent the following day.

  5. Col

    My burger, I shall call the Leo, consists of worms (caught by the early bird). It will cost €550,000, perfectly affordable.

  6. IonaLotOfProblems

    My burger, I shall call the Wirly Dirly Burger, consists of smoked cheese, caramelised onions, pickles, jalapeno peppers diced into the beef patty, and ballymaloe relish, served on an upside down brioche bun.

  7. Jonjo

    My burger, I shall call the Trump, consists of trout and rump.

    Won best burger in GBK before anyone tasted it by promising to be great. Has left a bad taste in the mouth now though.

  8. essexhian

    My burger, I shall call “Fishy Wishy”.
    It consists of fresh golden battered cod fillet, topped with a layer of goats cheese, and then prawns in a seafood dressing with crisp cos lettuce and gherkin pickles. Yummy!

  9. kid alatriste jensen

    my burger I shall call the halligan, served in a Waterford blaa, garlic mayo, a slice of lismore cheddar, a quarter pound of Munster mince, with some Korean kimchi, sricacha ketchup and a fried egg.

  10. Naoml

    My burger, I shall call ‘The Rib Tickler’, consists of large, toasted brioche buns, garlic mayo, young spinach leaves, parmesan cheese, tomato relish and onion marmalade, lashings of fresh-off-the- bone BBQ rib pork topped off with caramelized red onions and a smattering off crispy iceberg lettuce leaves, a few slithers of mozzarella and sun-dried tomatoes.

  11. Yep

    My burger, I shall call the Big Bad Meme and consists of too must beef, the saltiest of bacon and topped with thick slices of bitter tomato. All wrapped in a stale sourdough bun with a side of sweet potato fries dripping in booze.

    Starts off nice, kinda interesting but then you realise there is just too much to digest and you give up halfway due to heartburn.

  12. Murtles

    My burger, I shall call Eggy Mc Muffburger, consists of 3 beef pattys with an egg between each, bacon, carmelised onions and a marie rose sauce between Muffin Buns. Alternative name : Humptys Ladder

  13. Pip

    My burger, I shall call the Lemmy Atit, consists of a wodge of ribeye mince, blackened on the outside, pink on the inside, with a large sachet (edible) of Jack Daniels in the centre.

  14. Iwerzon

    ‘My burger, I shall call the Nothing Burger, consists of anything that comes out of Rónán Mullen’s mouth, between two heaving baps.’

  15. edalicious

    My burger, I shall call the Tarte Flamburger, consists of a beef patty on ciabatta bun with a tarte flambé style sauce, made from cheese, creme fraiche and bacon, with either mustard or apricot jam. You’ll probably need to serve it with a large side salad to give some kind of semblance of a balanced meal.

  16. wellness

    My burger, I shall call “The Broadfeeder”, consists of the dull secretions of all impotent Broadsheet commentators .

  17. Sarah

    My burger, I shall call the Hanky Panky, it consists of a panko crumbed chicken breast sandwiched between melted whorls of compte cheese and sweet and yet sour dirty slaw, topped with creamy whipped avocado and a girthy slice of beef tomato. Weep with satisfaction once it hits that spot.

  18. James

    Repeal the 8th burger; 2 buns, a squirt of ketchup a “REPEAL” jumper and a fried egg that never got to become a chicken.

  19. Optimus Grime

    My burger shall be called “The O’Sullivan Special” it shall consist of 1lb (real weight 253 grams) of minced (not actually minced) beef (not actually beef), nestled on a bed of moist TULSA’d lettuce (actually nettles), with aged whistleblown cheddar (not cheese), with PULSE’d onions, we had 8 onions but could only find 5, and juicy tomatoes that Noirin picked while on a 6 week holiday. It’ll be covered up by a overcooked sourdough bun from Tusla bakeries. I’m sure you’ll find this burger…………hard to swallow.
    I’ll get my coat

  20. joke bloke

    My burger I shall call the outsider consists of chicken breast marinated in green pesto before adding a light crispy batter, roasted peppers, spinach leaves, beetroot, mild mustard.

  21. Janet, I ate my avatar

    My burger I shall call the mutton dressed as lamb meltdown, consists of a minced lamb patty mixed with methi, cumin, tumeric, ginger and cracked black pepper lovingly embraced in a sweet spinach, spring onion, tomatoe and fresh coriander salade and put to bed in a sourdough bap… goats cheese optional

    1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

      I had to look up methi. I used to take fenugreek to counteract my gestational diabetes. Dunno if it worked, and can’t remember the flavour.
      How interesting, you say. I know, sez I.

        1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

          Heeeeeee heeeee.
          Remember that clip where he was doing Top of the Pops: “At Six, Cecilia by Suggs”?

      1. Janet, I ate my avatar

        slightly aniseed but the leaf so also a nice earthy flavour, marries well with lamb and yep aides digestion

  22. Kolmo

    My burger I shall call “The Phoenix” and is shall consist of a base bun, gingerly laid on a bed of carboard, a solid pattie of pure morketing, nicely spun, stacked nice and high, like the much needed many, many office blocks being lashed up, some nice leaves of salad to keep the rain off, a lot of templemore stilton, some tracker ketchup, generously applied, then removed for the authentic and criminally inept non-regulation taste, topped off with a waiting list gerkin of laughable dispair.

  23. Frilly Keane

    ‘My burger, I shall call the Frilly Bap consists of a ¼ pounder, grilled ta’medium, topped with dripping googhie Gouda with fried mushrooms embedded into the yellow, a proper cluster of onion rings sitting between the meat and the bottom bed of grilled brioche bun. A dollop of red sauce, that I might mix with a bitta Mayo will jam the top of the bun ta’ the lot.

    You won’t even need chips ….

    But loads of napkins tho

  24. bertie blenkinsop

    My burger consists of titanium topped with diamonds between two concrete blocks.

    I call it The Eamonn Clancy

        1. Brother Barnabas

          go on with your table

          I’d eat it standing Zeus-like, bolt of lightning in one hand, astride the underworld and the heavens

  25. gorugeen

    My burger i shall call the Nemo and it shall consist of a 1/4 pounder containing Chipotle’s, topped with chopped smoked salmon, capers,sliced black olives, aioli and a lightly toasted blaa bun. I’m hungry.

      1. gorugeen

        lighty toasted and no, nowhere near the south. Used to go to Spraoí every year and got hooked on blahs. Denny used to give them out with their sausages in Arundel square. Yum.

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