Win Nick’s Esteem [Extended]


Thank your lucky stars it’s Friday.

Once more, we have our treasured Broadsheet Trailer Park supervisor Andy Pipkin to thank for the theme of this week’s voucher-free music sesh.

Andy writes:

“As a suggestion for this week’s Esteem post, might I be bold enough to suggest the following? For the last few years you’ve always asked ‘your favourite’ so this week I’m putting forward your least favourite, most annoying song that most people enjoy! Here’s mine: Honestly it makes me physically vomit!”

Thanks Andy. Here’s mine.

Please include video link if possible.

Lines close on Saturday at Midnight

Last week, I asked for your favourite Eurovision Song Contest entry down all the days.

You answered in your tens but there could only be one winner. Capernosity & Function won my esteem with this entry:

Daði og Gagnamagnið – Think About Things

Capernosity & Function writes:

“The great lost Eurovision winner that never was from the cancelled 2020 contest. The Eurovision jobsworths wouldn’t let Dadi Freyr enter this song again in 2021, so please let him win this equally prestigious song contest.”

Justice is finally served!

Nick says: Congrats Capernosity and thanks to everyone who entered.

Last week: Win Nick’s Esteem

Pic: Steamboat Vinyl, Limerick

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92 thoughts on “Win Nick’s Esteem [Extended]

  1. Slightly Bemused

    I have to admit pretty much anything by Des’ree. I may suffer through some of them, but there is one where I will actively turn off the radio or, if not possible, leave the room if it is on.

    And that is the absolutely woeful ‘Life’

    I really do not want to post the link and so inflict it on you all, but the rules are the rules…


    1. Slightly Bemused

      Forgot to congratulate you, Capernosity & Function. That was one really whacky song and, given the circumstances, a deserved win as it did not have its own competition :-)

  2. ce

    Anything by The Smiths or The Clash except for Rudie Can’t Fail … utterly over rated groups… Joy Division and Specials, and PIL would take them any day of the week…

    I think a lot of Nick Cave is overrated but there’s also definitely enough unbelievable nuggets of wonder throughout his career for me to admit he’s a total genius songwriter… anyway, something for people to hate who like the more boring Nick Cave stuff… here’s an oldie… Nick The Stripper…

  3. stephen moran

    God there are so many nominees for the great academy of the overrated. Haters are gonna hate but there is one band who remain inexplicably beloved by the musical illiteraterati of Ireland. A bunch of grotesque coyote-ugly putrid misogynistic racists who treat their hapless “fans” with utter contempt. They were the epitome of persistence beyond the call of talent. Back when they hit first the racks, these imposters talked a lot of guff about suicide. It’s such a pity they never had the balls to do society a favour and take that jump.

    Guns ‘N’ Roses
    “Sweet Child o Mine”

    1. ce

      hahaha… totally agree, yellow pack version of a bad Zeppelin cover band on their worst day…

      1. ce

        It also really problematic — grab some samples recorded by underpaid (or not even paid!) black musicians, insert occasional synth noise, add crap loop, and voilà… you’ve ruined other peoples art and got paid poop-tonnes for it… seriously, I think we can all agree Moby is a total fupp-munch…

        1. Fergalito

          In its defence it did lead me to the original artists and the source material, some of which was excellent.

  4. U N M U T U A L

    Somewhere in the icy depths of the north atlantic lies the wreck of the titanic… and if I’m honest and had my way, …it’s where this watery dose of sentimental Sonic-Cystitis would be placed for the rest of all time…

    Abandon Ship! women, and children first, unless anyone is up for a mutiny.
    Who’s with me?

    Celine Dion • My Heart Will Go On*


      1. U N M U T U A L

        …alas Slightly, not even Pork Loin Dion could save its bacon…
        ’tis Davy Jones’ Locker bound, come he’ll or high water! :-)

        1. ce

          Yeah, sorry about that, it’s pretty wrong on many levels… I should keep it on a pedestrianized Capel Street were it belongs…

  5. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    oh I like this theme, I’m very easily irritated by noises, chewing, breathing, The Beatles and ABBA, I take it so personally,
    well this song is like being forced to eat with unvarnished chopsticks forever, it does the same thing to the nerves in my back
    Shiney Happy People…..boke

    1. ce

      hahaha – yeah, you can imagine the conversation at REM HQ
      ” So we’ve release, Radio Free Europe, It’s the End of the World as We Know It, Loosing my Religion… etc… etc… let’s release something that will make people utterly hate us and then we can go back to obscurity… what could go wrong”…
      It’s basically Mel Brooke’s “The Producers” in song form!!!

    2. Slightly Bemused

      I have the same feelings about The Beatles. Its not that all their songs are bad, I just think other people do them better.

      I would have to add Cold Play to the fray, and say I never understood what anyone saw in them. And I mean, what on earth is the Vida La Vida, or whatever, about? Jerusalem bells? Roman cavalry? What?

      1. Fergalito

        Absolutely SB, absolutely.

        Coldplay are like one of those mathematical constants, pi or what have you except they stand indisputably and singly for the musical dregs.

  6. Halla

    “You’re Gorgeous” by Babybird. I don’t even know why, but hearing even a tiny bit of it has me running off in a Hulk-like rage to remove myself from its audio range.

    I assume this link is correct. Couldn’t listen to it to check, for fear of rage. I’m actually annoyed having just thought of the thing to share it.

    1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

      I’m disliking any video I post just in case my phone starts suggesting offensive matériel

    2. ce

      and I still hear it at least once a week in a supermarket or similar and it makes me what to wretch on to somebody already wretching into an abarakebabra made with shreaded used nappies instead of meat…

    1. ce

      Favourite Paddy Casey track “Anyone can sell a phone” from his time with 3… I think…

      1. Mad

        He lives here in my town
        If you thought he was a sad little whiney looking fupper before …

  7. stephen moran

    I ruled out the musical monstrosities like “Who Let the dogs out”, “Barbie Girl” “The Macarena”, “Mambo No 5” , “Don’t worry be Happy” as they are novelty hits or the unforgivably dire “We are the World£ (USA for Africa)

    But in terms of purely irritating songs that get unwarranted or indefensible amounts of airplay on our indie free airwaves the inevitable Nickelback “Photograph” (or indeed anything in their back catalogue) the plain embarrassing “All about the Bass” by Meghan Trainor and the cringe inducing “You’re beautiful” by James Blake and of course “Lady in Red” by Chris de Burgh get me every time but there but in terms of that I reach for my revolver tune there is no topping the worst song of the ’80’s – all big frizzy hair shoulder pads and Vaseline on the lens – it marked the death of rock ‘n’ roll – Starship – ” We Built this City” – its irredeemably awful

  8. Mad

    Starship is a great choice well done
    It’s for the really sad old hippies desperately trying to stay relevant well past their sell by date

  9. Niall

    Country music is genre with a long and rich tradition.
    Johnny Cash, for example, built a musical legacy that still endures almost 20 years after his death.
    Hank Williams, Waylon Jennings, Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson and countless others exemplify a proud and varied folk music legacy that has enriched millions.
    … then there is this steaming pile of horse manure that brings me crashing back down to earth with the sickening realisation that for every Ying there is a Yang and for every Johnny Cash there is a Billy Ray Cyrus whining about his Achy,Breaky , Heart.

    With deepest apologies :-(

    1. Fergalito

      It had to be said Niall and you said it well.

      Apologise not required, we were asked to bring out the dead and you sure hurled out a cadaver.

      Regretfully my head is now filled with the shite that has been nominated. I think if Nick can take it, it’s esteem for everyone in the audience this week.

      1. Fergalito

        Lol, thanks Paulus.

        If I’m every inadvertently forced to listen to it that will help greatly.

  10. Fergalito

    Many to choose from – the podium of fame is littered with overblown, undercooked, lazy rubbish pulled from the derrieres of the double-anussed earworm that burrows its way into one’s auditory canal and spasms to the rhythm of the dross that consumes it as it defecates it spewings all over your neurons.

    I’ve picked this particular gick-nugget mined from the dank, stagnant pool of sub-mediocrity – while refusing to post a link to it in the interests of not contributing in any marginal way even to its popularity, I choose:-

    Bryan Adams and “Everything I Do (I Do it For You).”

    Regard the title of the song even – in an effort to make it interesting part of it is in brackets like irs some type of mathematical equation wherein complex secrets might be revealed. A casual listen to the song debunks any such notion in mere seconds.

    Take the theme and thrust of the song – simple straight forward love ballad you might say? Harmless enough.

    Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

    Everything I do I do it for you because I’m obsessed with you girl, unhealthily so. Obsessed to the troubled, maladjusted extent that if you look into your heart “and when you find me there, you’ll search no more” This is the extent of my prosaic musings, search in your heart and you’ll find me there. Gwan. Look willya. Nothing yet? Keep looking, I’m definitely there somewhere. I must be because I love you. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

    I could go on about how it lingered like the odour from a malfunctioning sewage treatment plant at the top of the charts for effin months keeping much more credible, genuine artists from the top spot and then, how it celebrates love in the same mawkish one dimensional way as a template Hallmark Valentine card. Rhyming “lie” with “die” and ooh, some half-rhyme with “wire.”


    Enough of this paeon to the Gods to condemn this garbage to the void. To expunge it from all memory and revise and deny its existence.

    Anyway, i’ve made my case. Who would deny me my esteem? Who?

    1. ce

      Everything I do I do it for you would imply every time I take a poo I take it for you

      So yes, it is all Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

      1. Fergalito

        Absolutely true, as would wiping yer arse afterwards and a plenitude of mundane tasks.

  11. Daisy Chainsaw

    Pretty much the entire Maroon 5 catalogue. I hate most of their stuff with the power of a thousand burning nuns.

        1. Daisy Chainsaw

          Poor Sad. Obsessed with fake willies because his own is such a tiny little button mushroom.

      1. Daisy Chainsaw

        Next time you bitch and whinge about someone being mean to you, I’ll link to a screenshot of this.
        Odd for a supposedly gay man to use “lesbian” as an insult.

        1. Mad

          What do you have against lesbian nuns?
          Did one of them turn you down for a threeway?
          Why would you consider this term a perjorative?

          1. Daisy Chainsaw

            Poor Sad. Obsessed with porn because real people find him and his micropeen disgusting.

  12. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    James Blunt, You’re beautiful….I don’t care how long he spent in the army, no one’s brain is that fried

    1. Fergalito

      In fairness to him he’s his own worst critic but that might be part of his shtick.

      Awful awful awful song.

  13. Otis Blue

    No point in going for the low-hanging fruit on this. The answer to the question – and to nothing else whatsoever – is Pearl Jam.

    Tepid beanie and flannel-clad mumblecore. Every song a wash of lazy sludge made even worse by Eddie Vedder’s anguished small mammal yowl.

    Next up in the slaying of the sacred cows? Joni Mitchell.

  14. scottser

    What about those radio nova classics that we’ve all heard too many times already like stairway to heaven, freebird, bohemian rhapsody?

          1. Andy Pipkin

            T’pau were named after Star Treks,
            Mr Spocks mother!!!

            I remember a gent from this parish had a thing for redheads!!

  15. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    pretty much any of the drippy poop my sister listens to ?
    I win

  16. Rebelbrowser

    The premise of your competition is all wrong. It assumes there could be something worse than the Lighthouse Family. Let’s be clear, there is, nor never will be, anything worse than the Lighthouse Family. So many to choose from, but I give you nonetheless the peerlessly bad, Lifted…

    If the Lighthouse Family didn’t exist, it would have opened the door to anything by the Mavericks. Honourable mention too to Gabriel with her dirge “Out of reach”. Truly appalling.

  17. CapernosityandFunction

    Thank you Nick for the Esteem and the justice for Dadi Freyr.

    Thank you Andy for the theme.

    Thank you well wishers for the well dones.

    George Michael – Careless Whisper

    I effin’ hate this song so much. I have to turn it off the minute I hear that saxophone intro. I remember it dropping like a large lump of poo onto an idyllic childhood summer in 1984 when I was in the midst of my Frankie Goes to Hollywood obsession.

  18. Moira Cardiff

    The Power of Love, Jennifer Rush. Shockin’ altogether. The video is even worse…

  19. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    for my sins when I first moved to Paris I worked in a total full on shamrock bulging, Irish coffee, little egits barely wet
    behind the ears who thought they were god’s gift … anyway I digress, they played this song ALL the time and now it triggers my kill settings

  20. Verbatim

    Anything from Sting whinging is regrettable to have to listen to but especially “I’ll be watching you”
    “Since you’ve gone, I’ve been lost without a trace
    I dream at night, I can only see your face
    I look around but it’s you, I can’t replace
    I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
    I keep crying baby, baby please
    Oh, can’t you see
    You belong to me
    Now my poor heart aches
    Every step you take
    Every move you make
    Every vow you break
    Every smile you fake
    Every claim you stake
    I’ll be watching you”
    It’s right up there with Fergalito’s suggestion of Bryan Adams and “Everything I Do (I Do it For You).” Ugh!

  21. Ronnie

    First song I heard from Damien Dempsey about him “goin down inta dubalin town” back in late nineties, it was truly horrible. I still don’t get how any of his songs appeal to this day with people

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