68 thoughts on “Tuesday’s Papers”

  1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    don’t bother reading any of those headlines….it’s going to be a lovely day, don’t read any other comments but this one :)
    Here’s some words to roll around your brain instead
    Bum, wine, yellow, relaxation, hey diddle diddle

    3. Big Lad

      “Bum, wine, yellow, relaxation, hey diddle diddle”

      I think you have that in the wrong order.

    4. Cú Chulainn

      Janet, you missed a couple: thigh, hard, soft, yielding, tongue, taste, delicious, relenting, yearning, refusing, pushing, desiring, hunger, hungry, wanting, needling, demanding, having, having, having…

    5. Ronnie

      all of that at plus Toffee pops, cider and a sumptuous rasher sandwich before falling into bed with the missus. life is good!

      1. Big Lad

        Yes Ronnie…
        …or should I call you TenPin?
        …or Charger?
        …or Captain?
        …or Con o’Sullivan?
        …or Emer o’Sullivan?
        etc…

        I know you longer than most people here.

        1. scottser

          i don’t think ronnie’s missis smells as much as three-duck terry’s.
          mind you, there are sewage treatment plants that don’t smell as much as her.

          1. TenPin Terry

            Dearie me – is ” your missus smells ” really the best a grown man can come up with ?
            Morto …

          2. scottser

            rich indeed coming from you, one-trick terry.
            so tell us, if your missis brought out a candle like that gwyneth paltrow, what would it smell like?
            ferret breath?
            geordie’s armpit?
            battersea dogs home?

    1. bisted

      …looks like I’m not the only one who can’t wait for Book 2 of ‘Unspecified Things That Look Like Ireland’ to be published…

      1. Cú Chulainn

        Cos he’s living in a step down facility in cork.. care in the community, and even there no one who the f is Alice…

    1. TenPin Terry

      The Yorkies are even worse than the Irish when it comes to whingeing.
      Yorkshire folk are like the Scots but with all the goodwill squeezed out of them.
      The first two words they learn on entering this world are ” how much ? ”
      Good cricketers mind.
      Talking of which I’m in a bit of a pickle – the fragrant Lady TenPin and I will be in Blighty for the Platinum Jubilee this weekend and are involved in organising a street party on Sunday.
      But a pal was in touch tonight inviting me to a corporate jolly at the England v Kiwis game at Lords that very day.
      Naturally I’m going but when and how to tell ‘er indoors is going to take some diplomacy I vouchsafe.
      Marvellous ™

  6. GiggidyGoo

    Et TUI Easyfret?
    Non-tan tans?
    Queue up queue up at UK airports to hear how your flight has been cancelled!
    Save your holiday – have a good old Coronation Street street party instead! Eh up chuck?
    Incoming TenPin Prepuce.3……2………1………..

    How do you know when an Easyjet/ TUI departure has been cancelled from a UK Airport? The whining continues long after the engines have been turned off!

    Back of the net!
    Hand of God!
    Eh up chuck?
    Have a nice cuppa!

    2. Tommy Bohan

      I think we should worry about our own problems (Dublin Airport) before having a go at the British. Does that make you feel better having a go at them? Pathetic.

      1. TenPin Terry

        Indeed Tommy – they’re not the brightest.
        I know you try hard to dispel the widely-held view that Paddy is a bit backward but these knuckle-draggers don’t help your cause.
        ‘Twas ever thus.

        1. Cato

          If I may refer you to Tommy’s comment, which you are commenting on, and ostensibly agreeing with: “ Does that make you feel better having a go at them? Pathetic.”

          You wouldn’t be the brightest now, Charger, would you?

        2. Kali

          You come across as someone with a digit IQ who tries to put down the Irish as unintelligent, in the name of blighty. Carlsberg don’t do irony, but if they did….

      2. GiggidyGoo

        I don’t worry about Dublin Airport Tommy – Charger does though – as you’ll see from his comments over the past few days. Just tipping him off – you know I wouldn’t like to see him queueing at Dublin, only to find himself queueing once again on the return leg.

        TenPin Prepuce no likey when the tables are turned on him. It’s a drawback to his personality.

          1. GiggidyGoo

            You need a refresher course on come-backs TenPin Prepuce. Quite disappointed with your input this past while. If you’re not up to it, might I suggest a short break? Youghal is good this time of year they say.

    1. GiggidyGoo

      Liquid in, liquid out. Food in, poo out. – But – ‘One of the problems many truckers have raised regarding congestion in Kent is a lack of toilets. In a letter seen by Trans.INFO earlier this year, a DfT representative said it was “too dangerous to deploy toilet facilities” when there are queues in continuing movement: “When there are queues in continuous movement it is too dangerous to deploy toilet facilities and equally dangerous for hauliers to leave their vehicles and cross a lane of moving HGVs to use the toilets. The alternative is to stop all traffic and deploy the toilets, then stop all traffic at regular intervals to allow their use which would exacerbate the traffic congestion issues.”

  8. Ronnie

    Do you all think Lisa Smith was a bit thick or was she radicalised?

    I believe anyone that gets into supernatural ideas are not well in the head

    1. Tom J

      Where are you getting supernatural from, are you thinking of Adolf Hitler. He was big into that.

    3. Mr .T

      Most of the world’s most enlightened thinkers of old were all very religious. Inventors, engineers, mathematicians, philosophers, all could reconcile their discoveries with the existence of a creator.
      The idea that science and religion are antithetical is a recent phenomenon.

      Even Charles Darwin was himself a “theist” in some description, believing in a higher power though not necessarily any Christian church.

  9. TenPin Terry

    You know things are bad when even the Irish World – ” THE paper for the Irish in Britain ” – prints a negative story about Ireland.
    But the world-class gouging now going on in the hotel and car rental sectors is earning Ireland the reputation that Paddy is getting greedy again.
    Rip-off Ireland is back with a vengeance.
    A Yankee pal of mine was quoted €2k for a week’s rental of a Noddy car out of Dumpland airport so he’s catching a train to Belfast on arrival where he’s scored a mid-size for £465.
    Feckless Paddy just can’t help himself.

  10. Gabby

    THE WORLD IS IN A STATE OF CHASSIS – meanwhile special pullout platinum jubilee celebration inside.

    1. TenPin Terry

      It’s going to be a great weekend.
      Millions of people will be out celebrating living in the greatest country in the world with thousands of others willing to risk their lives in the English channel to be part of it.
      Blighty was a sea of red, white and blue when I passed through earlier this week – a land bedecked with bunting
      The Derby, the Greatest Flat Race in the World, is on Saturday.
      And Test cricket is back at Lord’s.
      All is well in the world.
      Huzzah !
      Marvellous™

      2. TenPin Terry

        From the Irish Daily Mail.

        ” More 12 million people across Britain will be hoping for good weather as they celebrate Her Majesty’s seven-decade reign with some 200,000 street parties due to be held for the Big Jubilee Lunch on Sunday.”

        That’s a lot of pork pies.
        I love me a Melton Mowbray pork pie.
        With Piccalilli.
        Marvellous™

        1. scottser

          only12m out of a population of 60m?
          20%?
          i suppose that’s about right. who in their right mind would cheer on hereditary privilege and unaccountability in this day and age? i take it that most of that 20% are over 50.

          1. TenPin Terry

            Talking of smells the whiff of desperation coming off your posts has now developed into a strong bang.
            You poor thing.
            Hopefully Mammy has made you your favourite tea…

  12. in active

    As much as €9 billion or 60 per cent of the Government’s corporate tax take may be “temporary”, meaning it cannot be counted on in the future, the Irish Fiscal Advisory Council has said.
    Official Ireland says: https://youtu.be/MzFn3Zf00Aw

  14. jonjoker

    The Examiner has nailed it again – the best of the bunch for reporting, in many ways.

    Its front page point to the government’s mind starting to focus, after the last couple of opinion polls showing SF on 36%, and FFG only managing 35% in the most recent poll.

    They are obviously worried about the poor publicity arising from the current debacle at Dublin Airport where someone (probably a whole cohort, in fact) has been promoted beyond his ability. There will be daily meetings held, we are told. I can think of several other areas where daily meetings might help.

    But the one that caught my eye is in the middle of the page – they are planning on spending lotsa money on rural post offices. Now this has become a huge problem in rural Ireland over the past decade or so; there is no specific reason for it to be more of an issue today than last week or last month – other than the poor showing of the government in the polls.
    They are still only talking about €12,000, which is hardly better than what a person would receive on the dole; and as a result the half-measure will not work, and the government will not gain any benefit for their effort.
    What is actually needed is for the government to open and run a network of post offices-cum-post banks etc of their own. That cost is a bridge too far, it seems, to absolutely nobody’s surprise.

  15. SOQ

    WHO Forced into Humiliating Backdown

    Botswana read a statement on behalf of its 47 AFRO members, saying they would be collectively withholding their support for the ‘reforms’, which many African members were very concerned about.

    Multiple other countries also said they had reservations over the changes and would not be supporting them either.

    These included Brazil, Russia, India, China, South Africa, Iran and Malaysia. Brazil in particular said it would exit WHO altogether, rather than allow its population to be made subject to the new amendments.

    https://www.onenation.org.au/who-forced-into-humiliating-backdown

        1. Tom J

          There are many rumours going around about you, being perfect is definitely not one of them.

    1. paul

      they weren’t able to “achieve long-term customer growth” as they were increasing their prices multiple times per week and were hemorrhaging customers.

    1. TenPin Terry

      Good lord, the TUC ?
      The last time I heard of them was the year Ireland last played in a football World Cup …

      * sniggers *

      1. Mad

        It’s truly horrifying watching the slow motion car crash that is the tribe of migrant and native mutant idiots now assembled outside Buckingham Palace. Hopefully ISIS have something special planned to deliver at this time

  20. Kin

    So Liza smith guilty of being a member of ISIS
    She must now be charged with treason as she served in our military and I presume took an oath of allegiance to our country
    Bet though the real truth is they will delay the ruling until everyone forgets and she quietly goes on with her life
    I assume Mary Lou will intervene

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