90365491

Because Louis.

Former Westlife singer and RTÉ 2FM broadcaster Nicky Byrne (above) has reportedly been selected to represent Ireland at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest in Stockholm, Sweden.

Fluffybiscuits writes:

What this represents is an extremely lazy choice for RTÉ. Nicky is a lovely guy, great personality but time and time again Eurovision is used by singers who have been out of the music business for a long time (Think Englebert Humperdink, Bonnie Tyler etc). RTÉ could have done three things:

a) Revive the Castlebar Song Contest
b) A ten song final broadcast on a Sunday evening or Saturday/Friday night
c) Asked a current band – my choice would have been a floor filler with Le Galaxie and Sinead O Connor

Another opportunity wasted by RTÉ again….

FIGHT!

Nicky Byrne Reported To Be Representing Ireland At Eurovision 2016 (Eurovision.net)

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111 thoughts on “Why Me?”

      1. sanctimoniousbroadsheetcommenter

        Hadn’t been on this site in a while and I’m not surprised to see the same rubbish content is still on it because of the amount of silly misguided cronies the admins cultivate to generate content. I suppose yourself and clampers have some quinoa and elderflower lemonade in the evening and try to decide what the people really want to see the next day? Let me guess for tomorrow you’ll have something about American turkeys who believe in fair trade as evidenced by their preference to defecate on child-manufactured Nike shoes? RIVETING.

        4. Jordofthejungle

          Lol – you have been waiting to type that Mr Sanctimonious I’ll bet, plotting this masterful swipe all over Christmas. Let me guess: there’s a lot going on in your life.

        5. Murtles

          There’s such a thing as quinoa and elderflower lemonade? Why wasn’t I told?
          *throws nettlejuice and 7up at screen

        6. Clampers Outside!

          Oooooooh, I feel inspired!

          If I had access to editorial, there’d be more boobs, and Leather Jacket Guy would feature twice daily, but Fluffy would stop that… probably :)

        7. Gers

          +100, getting fed up also, every comment section feels like we are intruding on Fluffy/Clamp/Mani cafe-convos. Most of time just having the craic with themselves. Take it to WhatsApp lads. Please.

          1. fluffybiscuits

            So step in and conribute instead of lurking

            Everyone has the chance to make this site their own. Just because I submit something does not stop the site being for everyone else.

          3. Mike

            I know, it’s bullcrap. The rest I can take it or leave it, but you’re actually the only funny commenter on this site.

        9. realPolithicks

          Here’s a suggestion for you, if you don’t like this site then don’t read it….it’s not that complicated.

        1. fluffybiscuits

          Clampers quinoa and elderflower lemonade?

          Is it fair trade and does it come in little cups and in a restaurant where I can put my man bag down and stroke my beard while pondering the world?

  4. Rob_G

    I didn’t know that Englebert Humperdink was still on the go, I need to start paying closer attention to the Eurovision.

  5. Spaghetti Hoop

    The Eurovision is all about the song-writing though, not necessarily the performer. I think it’s a dead horse personally but g’luck with the fight (!) Fluffy, as I think you’re right about a lazy choice as opposed to invited song-writing talent at grass root level.

    1. fluffybiscuits

      Cheers Hoop

      I know a lot of song writers who wanted to send in entries but were put off by the way RTE has acted. The Swedes take this seriously and have a massive show on it that tops the ratings. Singers and songwriters submit songs and everyone stands a chance.

      1. MoyestWithExcitement

        Serious question (although, admittedly, one borne out of a negative view of Eurovision) has any songwriter gotten their break on Eurovision and then actually went on to have a career writing for credible artists? It seems like a LOT of songs on that are specifically written for the show given how over the top they can be.

        1. Cup of tea anyone?

          Long shot but is this how ABBA got their break.

          And don’t forget the song that Dustin sang a few years ago.

          2. MoyestWithExcitement

            Ah yes. The writer of that Dustin tune did go on to have several number ones. Although introducing a lot more fibre to his diet helped.

          3. MoyestWithExcitement

            “Ceine Dion, Lulu, Johnny Logan (big in Europe), Julio Igleasias have all made it big”

            Ok. I’m not going to delve because that would be dickish and you clearly like Eurovision quite a bit. It’s just I inferred from what you were saying that Eurovision is seen as a pathway, *today*, by songwriters who want to make it, which I would have found surprising.

          4. fluffybiscuits

            A lot of the artists rather than the song writers, most people who write for Eurovision are people who do it for the love of it (check out Ralph Siegel or Tomas G Son ) or on the other hand they do it as they are already established, The winning song in 2006 for Russia was partly produced by Timbaland, so the big hitters get involved too.

          5. MoyestWithExcitement

            “The winning song in 2006 for Russia was partly produced by Timbaland”

            Holy Jayzus!

          6. Cup of tea anyone?

            Actually were Tatu in the Eurovision one year?
            Has the beardy girl gone on to do anything big since then?

      2. Sam

        Is there any verifiable evidence to back that up?
        Who, when pondering their summer hols thinks, ” Oh look Lordi won the Eurovision, let’s go to Finland ” ?
        Are there that many weak minded people out there, that the simplest suggestion dictates their consumer choices, and brings a substantial boon to the country whose act got the votes?

        1. fluffybiscuits

          http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-27113336

          “And what an showcase it it is: Denmark’s tourism agencies estimated the country earned 117m kroner (£12.9m) after Copenhagen last played host in 2000.
          As well as boosting the local economy during the competition, Visit Denmark says a TV audience of 125 million viewers could translate into advertising revenue alone of 160m kroner (£17.6m) this time round.!

          1. Sido

            Arghh Fluffy no!
            The key word there is “estimated”
            It goes like this, you get grants for the circuses when it comes to bread and circuses

            In order to get the grant you hit the target figure. Some of the information you provide is honest some is pure fantasy (though obviously the person filling out the forms doesn’t know that, being an honest and professional type). The important thing is to be over the target.
            Speaking from the personal point of view, the other important thing is to know, is that you’ve covered your ass when you sign the form. By working on the assumption that the data you have been given is accurate, and the people providing it honest.

            The other important thing is to include the clients IBAN number btw.

            When there is a incentive to be makey-uppy. people are makey uppy. as Sam says who goes to Finland to see Lordi FFS

  7. sendog

    “If I Could Wear My Hat Like My Heart” by The Grand Girls

    “You Dirty English Bastards” by The Hairy Bowsies

    “The Drums of Africa Are Calling Me Home” by Sean O’Brien

    “Sha la la la la la la la la la la la la” by Death Pigs

  8. Nilbert

    I have heard this gentleman’s ‘banter’ on the radio.
    I can’t believe anybody over the age of ten can listen to more than five minutes.

    I’m from the Northside!! It’s gas, its different from where people from the Southside are from!!!! aaahahahahahahahahahahah! D’ye remember cool pops and sugar sandwiches? ahahahahahahah, we had them on the northside!!!!! white dog poo!!!!!!!! aaahahahahahahahahahahah! Side laces???
    Yer gas, yer gas! Are you from the Northside yourself? No, don’t tell me….the Southside??? aaah jayziz!!!

        1. MoyestWithExcitement

          Yeah but Morrissey is an angry male genital-head whom nobody other than depressed men in their 40s would pay money to see.

  13. rugbyfan

    bring the rose of Tralee forward and send the winner over to the Eurovision to sing a little ditty!

  16. The Old Boy

    If the lazy option means not clogging up the airwaves with an interminable selection process that all RTÉ employees are ordered to treat as though the outcome was of grave national importance, it can only be a good thing.

        2. ReproBertie

          Fluffybiscuits is posting on a topic that arose from something he said? Well stop the freaking lights!

          He’s dead right too. This is a bad move by RTÉ. Presumably the song will still be picked via the LLS but just annointing an ex-boyband RTÉ staffer to sing denies others a shot at a huge television audience.

          2. scottser

            they should start ‘ultimate eurovision’. everyone in a cage, last one standing wins sort of thing.

      2. The Old Boy

        I was never one for believing ratings to be necessarily a good of advisability. At the same time, I must admit that my own assessment is as much to do with my personal disliking for the thing as much as Fluffy’s is driven by his enjoyment of it.

        2. Neilo

          @Bertie: there’s a great book to be written about the nexus between sexual predation and and pop in London’s Tin Pan Alley from the 50s to the 70s. My draft would be entitled From Parnes to Paton but that would be a little unfair to the former and nowhere near apropos for the latter.

          1. Bertie Blenkinsop

            Do it Neilo.
            I’d definitely read it.
            On a kinda similar-ish theme the simon napier bell books are a fantastic read.
            Managing Japan and Sinitta.
            The mind boggles!

  17. wearnicehats

    I would imagine that this is a move by RTE to ensure that Ireland do not have to host the competition in 2017 – something that is estimated to cost the host broadcaster the guts of €6million

  18. fluffybiscuits

    There was a good point made on FB, if the Swedes are brought in to write the song and it has good quality production and does not require a strong vocal range he might do well…

    2. Neilo

      @Bertie Blenkinsop: Those SN-B books look very interesting. The man showed plenty of range in dealing with a flouncy, ‘dying swan’ diva*. He also managed the lassie who sang GTO and So Macho.

      *I love Japan but, Jesus, David Sylvian must have been a pain in the ring. Breaking up a band when it’s about to go supernova is the mark of a madman and/or Julian Cope.

      1. Bertie Blenkinsop

        David Sylvian can do no wrong in my eyes.
        His Olympia gig in 2001 was one of the best I’ve ever been lucky enough to see….
        and I’ve seen Who’s Eddie.

        1. Neilo

          I genuinely fear that we may be the same person. Was that a full band outfit or himself and The Brother?

          1. Bertie Blenkinsop

            Full band.

            I think the brother was on the Vicar Street show the year or so later maybe.

    1. Neilo

      *Sigh* Now I’m angry all over again – this wasn’t long after Dead Bees On A Cake was released. How the hell did I miss this?

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