When the Beeb hire a panel of folks,
To sit and tell topical jokes,
They don’t think it’s best,
To have a sausage fest,
From now on it can’t just be blokes.

John Moynes

(BBC)

Sit down and I’ll try to explain,
What’s happening in the Ukraine,
They’ve decided it’s best,
To lean to the west,
Which is causing the Russians some pain.

John Moynes

(AFP)

We all know the Tories have not,
Got a clue how to chat up a Scot,
Their threat with the pound,
Didn’t win any ground,
His own foot was all George Osborne shot.

John Moynes

There was plenty of glamour and glitz,
On display yesterday at the Brits,
It was lovely to see,
The boys from 1D,
Recognised for their decades of hits.

John Moynes

(Getty)

[James Crapper, NSA chief]

America’s number one spy,
Admits that it’s not nice to lie,
But he still condones,
The bugging of phones,
On the off chance it traps some bad guy.

John Moynes

(EPA)

It’s fantastic to live in this land,
Where our judges all understand,
The horror of rape,
So when they escape,
Their training, that’s perfectly grand.

John Moynes

(RTE)

If something’s supposed to be free,
Then surely there can’t be a fee,
I must lack the sight,
Of the great Alex White,
But how this works I just can’t see.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

This evening there can be no doubt,
Each man must hit nightclubs and scout,
For a woman who seems,
Like the girl of his dreams,
And then hope the wife doesn’t find out.

John Moynes

Pic Barry H

Meanwhile…

FAO @JohnMoynes pic.twitter.com/SF7lStYcdd

— Energia Home (@EnergiaHome) February 14, 2014

Mmf.

In the mornings it never can hurt,
To spy a nice skirt or a shirt,
Now some Dutch folk explain,
That while you’re on a train,
You should pluck up some courage and flirt.

John Moynes

Pic: (Brief Encounter (1945)

I’ll mention, in case you don’t know,
Your journeys today will be slow,
And unless you’re a child,
You’ll find yourself riled,
At the sight of our old friend, the snow.

John Moynes

Pic via Jack Shannon