Author Archives: John Moynes

US President Donald Trump (right) has allegedly fallen out with his personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani (left) and refusing to pay his $20k-a-day legal bills

It’s starting to look as though Trump
Is highly unlikely to stump
Up the steep legal fee
That he owes to Rudy
As he reckons his lawyer’s a chump

John Moynes

Reuters

The second largest city on New Zealand’s South Island has closed a popular road (above) for an entire month in order for a sea lion to nest safely with its pup

In Dunedin authorities showed
That they’re willing to shut down a road
If some beasts from the sea
Think that it would be
A good place to make their abode

John Moynes

NZ Herald

Launching the Mother and Baby Homes Commission Report yesterday were, from left: Taoiseach, Micheál Martin, and Minister for Children, Equality, Disability, Integration and Youth, Roderic O’Gorman

Saying clearly just who was to blame
Is not how our state plays the game
So this impropriety
Was due to society
Having old fashioned concepts of shame

John Moynes

RollijngNews

The Seoul city government is offering advice to pregnant women that includes ensuring their husbands have clean clothes and enough to eat while they are in hospital giving birth.

The mandarins over in Seoul
Gave instructions to those up the pole
Such as making a plan
For feeding your man
So they’re clearly talking through their hole

John Moynes

Alamy

Education minister Norma Foley has reversed plans to bring Leaving Certificate students into class for three days a week

A minister proclaimed a rule
That older kids should go to school
But the next day she said
They should stay home instead
Which did not make her look a fool

John Moynes

RollingNews

Danish state telly has a new animated series aimed at four- to eight-year-olds about John Dillermand (above), the ‘man with the world’s longest penis’

In Denmark on children’s TV
There’s a show on which you’re bound to see
A rather large cock
So if you’re prone to shock
Then instead just watch CBBC

John Moynes

US President Donald Trump asked the Georgia Secretary of State to “find” votes to overturn the election results according to an audio recording

If at first you don’t succeed
Call someone in Georgia and plead
For them to help you
In staging a coup
And forging the votes that you need

John Moynes

Getty