Author Archives: John Moynes

A mock-up of how the statue of the devil will look on Segovia’s aqueduct.

In Segovia, a city in Spain
Some poor judge was forced to explain
That you don’t have the right
To exclude from your sight
The likes of Hell’s Great King of Pain

John Moynes

Pic: Courtesy of José Antonio Abella


The Lancet Medical Journal suggests meat consumption must fall to avoid ‘climate catastrophe’

If we ever hope to defeat
Climate change then it’s goodbye to meat
And soon the soybean
Is all that will be seen
It’s a new world I can’t wait to greet

John Moynes

Pic: Shutterstock

An entrepreneur called Nan Wu
Claimed in court that she thought it was true
That relief with the hand
Is perfectly grand
As long as that’s all your staff do.

John Moynes

Pic: Allstock

US President Donald Trump presented McDonald’s fast food to be served to the Clemson Tigers college football team at the White House last night

When your government’s under attack
And you’re constantly fighting off flack
And you know that it’s all
‘Cause you asked for a wall
Then it’s time to tuck into a snack

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Alexander Gauland, co-leader of Alternative für Deutschland (AfD), has called for a ‘Dexit’

The German far right has said it’s
Now taking a leaf from the Brits
So it looks as though if
Britain falls off a cliff
They still get to hang out with Fritz

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Comedian John Cleese asked the Pendulum Summit in Dublin: ‘Why don’t you Irish spell your names properly?”

An Englishman thinks it’s a shame
How an Irishman spells his own name
And can’t see our spelling
Is merely rebelling
Against England. They’re really to blame.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

The Chime radio telescope in Canada has detected 13 radio bursts

Astronomers picked up a trace
Of a signal from some far off place
This is no time for jokes
Let’s declare it a hoax
Before Trump wants a wall up in space

John Moynes

Pic: Chime Collaboration

US President Donald Trump made the case for a southern border wall in a live television address last night

With his border wall still out of reach
The President made a big speech
Now here’s a surprise
It was chock full of lies
It really is time to impeach

John Moynes

Pic: AFP

Sligo farmer Andy ‘The Bull’ McSharry said he will kill any dogs found with or without a lead on his land.

A farmer is taking a stand
Against any dog found on his land
And though you may plead
That your pet’s on a lead
He’ll still open fire out of hand.

John Moynes

Pic: Niall Delaney/OceanFM

Russian model Oksana Voevodina (right) married Malaysia’s Muhammad V of Kelantan (left) in Moscow last week

A king who once sat on a throne
Said he could continue alone
Then a young Russian beauty
Turned his head from his duty
That’s a risk to which all men are prone

John Moynes

Pics: Getty