Author Archives: John Moynes

Londis, 49 Grafton Street, Dublin 2 was served with a closure order last month after a dead rat was founder under its deli counter

You don’t want a dead rat by your feet
When you’re going for something to eat
So delis like those
Are now forced to close
Until they’re clean, tidy and neat

John Moynes

Pic: Google Maps

A no-deal Brexit could prevent County Antrim’s Down Royal (above) from hosting its showpiece festival of racing in November

Some horses that just want to race
Have a new set of hurdles to face
Outside the EU
No one’s sure what to do
To get the beasts to the right place

John Moynes

Pics: Down Royal

Cattle in Northern Ireland may face mass culling if new higher tariffs are applied to British milk in the event of a no-deal Brexit

Though nobody is quite sure how
It seems No-Deal’s coming soon now
And they’ve started to mull
Over a massive cull
I’m glad I’m not a northern cow

John Moynes

Eamonn Farrell/Rollingnews

French President Emmanuel Macron (right), with Taoiseach Leo Varadkar at the Élysée Palace, Paris, last April, has given Britain until Friday to ‘revise’ its Brexit plans

There are people in London who feel
They’re now getting close to a deal
But Macron had the cheek
To give them a week
To rethink their plans and get real

John Moynes


Thin Lizzy’s manager said he contacted An Post telling them 2019 did not mark the 50th anniversary of the band  – as they launched in 1970 – but “they went ahead anyway” with commemorative stamps (above)

Old rockers will give a loud cheer
Now that stamps of Thin Lizzy appear
And while this is great
Take a look at the date
It seems An Post got the wrong year

John Moynes



Last night.

GPO, O’Connell Street, Dublin 1.

The US is set to impose $7.5bn of tariffs on exports from the EU including Irish whiskey, scotch whisky, French wine and cheese and aircraft in retaliation for subsidies given to the aerospace group Airbus

The folks in the White House all think
That yanks should pay more for their drink
It’s not that they’ll choose
To stop buying our booze
They’re just hoping the EU will blink

John Moynes