Author Archives: John Moynes

Sightings of coypu, a large rodent with bright orange teeth, have been made in the Royal Canal

The residents of Castleknock
Are soon to be in for a shock
A beast like a rat
But far bigger than that
May be lurking round the canal lock

John Moynes

Pic: Wikipedia

It seems that a super worm moon
Is due to appear rather soon
Though it may wear a shroud
Of thick opaque cloud
Like a grey disappointing cocoon.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

British Prime Minister Theresa May speaks during Prime Minister’s Questions in the House of Commons, London yesterday

The cabinet told Mrs May
To ask for a three month delay
They feel apprehension
A longer extension
Might mean that they don’t get their way

John Moynes

Pic: BBC

Space travel triggers herpes in astronauts, a NASA study has claimed

When you’re floating far beyond our sky
You may pause to wonder just why
You now need to scratch
At your down below patch
It seems herpes will thrive if you fly

John Moynes

Pic: NASA

Gardai in Dublin will operate a ‘zero tolerance’ and confiscate alcohol in public places over the  Bank holiday weekend

If you’re someone who thinks that it’s neat
To chug a swift beer on the street
The Gardaí may choose
To seize all your booze
And bring themselves home a nice treat

John Moynes

Pic: Dutch Gold/Facebook

UK Prime Minister Theresa May in the House of Commons yesterday as MPs voted to reject a no-deal Brexit.

The MPs now turn their attention
To whether they want an extension
Or have Brexit Day
With the deal made by May
Or stay paralysed in dissension

John Moynes

Pic: BBC

Chickens in a poultry farm in northeast France are suspected of killing a fox who tried to sneak into their coop.

It seems that the chickens in France
Will kill if you give them a chance
So now a poor fox
Will go home in a box
If only he’d known in advance

John Moynes

Pic: AFP

Dog owners took to Westminster, London yesterday to hound UK Prime Minister Theresa May for a new Brexit referendum

Political fans should take note
That tomorrow the MPs will vote
One more time on May’s deal
But deep down I feel
They’ll give her no reason to gloat

John Moynes

Pic: Sky News

UK Attorney General Geoffrey Cox yesterday made a bawdy reference to his role in trying to make changes to the Northern Ireland backstop

Will the Brexit saga ever cease?
Will Britannia soon get her release?
We’re just waiting for Cox
To pull up his socks
And stop talking about his codpiece.

John Moynes

Pic: BBC

Socialist Party TD Paul Murphy suggests a Trotsky-like ‘united front’ against Sinn Féin’s “nationalist, pro-capitalist’ agenda in internal party documents

All clear thinking comrades agree
With the tactics of Leon Trotsky
And if battles are fought
Using critical thought
Then we’ll march to a left victory

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Yesterday: Hard To Swallow