The yet-to-be-titled 25th Bond film will reveal Lashana Lynch as the new 007
There’s many a thespian guy
Who has played Fleming’s fictional spy
But now his code name
Has gone to a dame
Which may leave leave some fans asking why
John Moynes
Author Archives: John Moynes
Celebrity chef Marc Veyrat has asked for his restaurant to be removed from the Michelin Guide
Marc Veyrat, a fancy French cook
Has said that he was badly shook
At the loss of a star
He asks if critics are
Entitled to write their red book.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Meanwhile…
@JohnMoynes
When i first had a look,
I nearly mistook,
That chef for our very own Bono,
"He's let himself go"
I thought for a mo,
He's fond of a large toblerone…o.— Where's Grandad? (@wasteofgoodskin) July 12, 2019
Beef baron Eoin Ryan, whose grass-fed Angus cross-reared in Limerick won the ‘World’s Best Fillet’ at the World Steak Challenge in Dublin yesterday
In Limerick if you want a break
From tofu, there’s something they make
(But rush, if you’re wise
As it’s just won a prize)
A thick juicy world-beating steak
John Moynes
Pic: Global Meat News
Scientists have found that goats are able to distinguish emotions from each other’s calls and also respond to the feelings of their peers
You may find this news rather queer
But boffins have claimed goats can hear
In an other goat’s call
If they’re happy at all
Or whether they’re frozen with fear
John Moynes
Anti-Trump United States women’s soccer team member Megan Rapinoe holds the Women’s World Cup trophy yesterday following her team’s fourth title
The president likes folks who win
But Megan committed the sin
Of speaking her mind
Which he thought unkind
So her chance of an invite is slim
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
The UK ambassador to the US Kim Darroch (right) wrote in a series of leaked documents that the Trump administration is ‘inept’
An experienced diplomat, Kim
Thinks America’s chances are slim
When it comes to success
As it’s all such a mess
But the Trumpites are no fans of him
John Moynes
Pics: Getty
US President Donald Trumps told a July 4th celebration that American revolutionary troops ‘took over airports’ in the 1700s
Before crossing the Delaware
You must have control of the air
And so Trump reports
That seizing airports
Was Washington’s style of warfare
John Moynes
Pic: AP
Some boffins have made an appeal:
Please stop saying that plants can feel
While it’s a nice thought
And you may think they ought
To. Let’s face it, it just isn’t real
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
Cerula (above) was a bishop in the fifth century before women were airbrushed from Christianity’s lead roles
A new book has just been released
Which claims at least one early priest
Was certain to be
A she, not a he,
But the numbers since then have decreased
John Moynes
Pic: ABC
The vast expanse of sea ice around Antarctica has apparently suffered a “precipitous” fall since 2014
An orbital scanning device
That measures the Antarctic ice
Says that in recent years
Even more disappears
Than anyone could think is nice
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
