If you’re not in the mood for a scare,
Two hundred feet up in the air,
I beg and implore,
Don’t go to Tramore,
Who knows how long you’ll be stuck there?

John Moynes

Old statues will get knocks and cracks,
But they’re patching her up, so relax,
Though some think they are,
Going just a bit far,
By giving poor Molly a wax.

John Moynes

(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)

There’s no reason a groom or a bride,
Should be forced to go indoors and hide,
Apart from the rain,
Can you really explain,
Why they shouldn’t get married outside?

John Moynes

Pic via 100layercake

[Damien Dempsey]

There’s always a risk you’ll be drowned,
In a river, while splashing around,
So it’s really quite neat,
When some guy with a sheet,
Gets you safely back on to dry ground.

John Moynes

(Eamonn Farrell/Photocall Ireland)

Each face in the place bore a smile,
As Aengus was walked down the aisle,
By the legendary Anne,
To team up with his man,
That’s how to get married in style.

John Moynes

(RTE)

That mighty old Cavan man Quinn,
Has announced that the fight will begin,
He believes that the State,
Must now compensate,
As they turned a blind eye to his sin.

John Moynes

(Sasko Lazarov/Photocall Ireland)

Today our whole nation is shook,
By the path that a sports pundit took,
When he went on TV,
Where children could see,
And spoke the unspeakable: “fuck”.

John Moynes

(RTE)

So Mary is not very happy,
That a fellow who’s not changed a nappy,
Can presume to know best,
Without facing the test,
She can see the planned synod is crappy.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

Some Italians who haven’t a home,
Sleep under a clerical dome,
But so far they’ve heard,
Not even one word,
From the popular Bishop of Rome.

John Moynes

(AP)

[Aer Lingus cabin crew on strike last month]

I’ll admit that I am glad to see,
Both sides make attempts to agree,
While some, left and right,
Would welcome the sight,
Of a strike with jingoistic glee.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)