Aidan O’Connell
Aidan O’Connell writes:
I have been diagnosed with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder), depression, OCD, borderline personality disorder, somatic illness, social anxiety disorder and panic attack disorder – all separately over the course of the 15 years.
I have doctor shopped and seen over a dozen-plus GPs, at my worst seeing multiple doctors on the same day. I have also seen multiple psychiatrists, again possibly over a dozen. That’s why there is a cluster of diagnoses above, “Doctors differ, and patients suffer”.
I am under the care of one professional now and have GAD, some elements of OCD and possibly some personality traits.
Yesterday Fiona Kennedy wrote about DBT and the lengthy period of time that people have to wait before they get help in Ireland’s public mental healthcare system.
I have experienced nothing but frustration.
I initially saw a consultant psychiatrist, to whom I was explaining my situation, when he said, “Time’s up, we will carry on next week”, before he wrote a prescription for an anti-depressant without even giving me a diagnosis.
Surely, he should have managed his time, so that, on first consultation he could at least have given me a diagnosis or a plan. In addition, throughout the session, he kept calling me “squire” and when I spoke of an incident in work, he said, “why didn’t you use a load of expletives and tell them ‘where to go?'” I didn’t return. This was a private appointment.
Next up was an appointment on the public side. I saw a registrar and not a consultant. During the course of the appointment, he chewed gum and took a mobile phone call. He then left me alone for an age and said, “The consultant would normally see you, but he is run off his feet”.
What he didn’t know was I had Googled who I was supposed to see and I saw him chatting at the reception counter a few feet from where I was sitting. The registrar then came back with a script for another anti-depressant, albeit a different one to the one referred to above.
Another stand-out appointment (this time on the private side) was with a consultant who, upon entering his room, showed me his qualifications on the wall, the Lancet magazine on his desk and made sure I knew he didn’t take credit cards.
A short while after the appointment began, he said, “I have the answer, Largactil. We need to get your sleep right in the first place and this will solve that.”
He didn’t tell me that this medication is over 50 years old and has been long left behind because of the dreadful side-effects.
I saw a consultant psychiatrist privately who smelled of cigarettes and spoke in a very, very soothing voice unless there was a disagreement and he lost his temper. The same man threatened to sue a girl I know for a comment on Twitter where she recalled a bad experience and mentioned his name.
Within minutes of meeting me, he told me I had Borderline Personality Disorder and we would have to engage in long-term DBT sessions. The problem for me, apart from the cost, was that, unbeknownst to me, he put me on an anti-psychotic drug and increased the dosage 14-fold until I tapered down and got away. I have never lost the five stone I gained on those drugs. I still need to lose this weight and I am desperate to lose it.
I am under the care of a great guy now. He’s a fantastic human being and a fantastic doctor. I admire him, his intelligence, his calmness, and his view that “less is more” in terms of medication.
He also regularly congratulates me on my defeat of alcohol and gambling. Regretfully, I still have some demons to beat. He will assist me though and I have no want nor urge to do either.
I am seeing this consultant psychiatrist privately but it’s not necessary to pay on the day of an appointment and he will see people at times of crises.
The experiences I have had are so mixed. But I firmly believe less is more in regards to medication and I do firmly believe that DBT is the answer to personality disorders (I hate the word disorder and I hate the word disability!)
I now write in reference to Dual Diagnosis – something I have had experience with in the past – following on from the death of Caoilte O Broin.
It’s astonishing that a lot of mental health services and addiction treatment centres in Ireland don’t treat people suffering with depression, anxiety or psychosis if they are also drinking and I believe the tragic case of Caoilte O Broin needs to change things in Ireland in 2016.
It’s totally inconceivable that there wasn’t more done for Caoilte. Why, when he was in such distress, did he have to fight his battle against his demons on his own?
Bearing in mind Caoilte’s experiences were related to the public system, we are all left wondering how and why wasn’t more done?
Aidan blogs at The Truth Wins. His Twitter handle is @AidanTruthWins
Previously: An Avoidable Death