For those who think this Ryder Cup is finished, think again. Team Europe can still win if the following five things happen Sunday:
— Keegan Bradley is abducted.
— Team USA captain Davis Love III inserts Cup spectators Michael Jordan, President George W. Bush, Amy Mickelson and the Rev. Jesse Jackson into the singles lineup.
— Lee Westwood: U.S. citizen
Marty McFly shows Team Europe captain Jose Maria Olazabal how to go back in time. Last Friday morning will do.
— Team Europe wins eight of the remaining 12 matches to retain the cup.
Never mind. It’s over. Olazabal can click off the walkie-talkie and take the IFB out of his ear. Time for the Europeans to fire up the private jets and head back home to Florida.