“I am a Roman Catholic diocesan priest, have been so for over 30 years, and I am gay. I came out to myself six years ago, I have since come out to my family and a small number of close friends. I am delighted that Mary McAleese has spoken out about the issue of being gay. I agree with all she has said. I feel she has spoken out for me and many priests like me, who are gay. She is a voice for us, as we are not free to speak out. I live in constant fear of being found out or being outed. I don’t believe that I’m ‘intrinsically disordered’ as my church would have me believe.
That term is insensitive, offensive and deeply hurtful to me, as I’m sure it is to others like me. The people in my parish tell me that I am a gentle, compassionate and sensitive priest. If Jesus was to sit down with a group of gay people, I am absolutely certain that their first experience would be a welcome and a reassurance that they are loved unconditionally by him. Why is it then that their first experience of my church is of condemnation, rejection and judgement. The content of its teaching and homosexuality and the way it communicates it seems very cold – clinically and pastorally insensitive. It’s approach is too simplistic and does not take into account the complexities and uniqueness of each person’s life. It seems that instead of helping to ease and lift the many sufferings of gay people, we are adding to them. I have no doubt Jesus would not approve.”
You could always LEAVE?
Further to the comments made by former President Mary McAleese – that the Catholic church is in denial about homosexuality – RTÉ reporter Brian O’Connell spoke to and was in correspondence with a number of Catholic and Church of England gay priests.
Their words were broadcast on RTÉ’s Today With Seán O’Rourke this morning and included the testimony (above) and another man who told how his order organises retreats for gay priests.
Mr O’Connell said:
“On these retreats, they stand around the altar in a group and they share their stories and their experiences and, for them, it allows them to be true to themselves and he said when they’re standing in front of a congregation, a couple of days later during Sunday mass, they feel that they’re being somewhat true to themselves. He also had the experience that his orientation isn’t a problem, as long as he remains celibate, that’s within his order. He has fallen in love at times over the years and he left the church for a period, but was always drawn back. He told me actually about a recent case where a gay man in his parish came to see him and was telling him about the struggles he had around his sexuality. And this priest actually decided to open up to his parishioner and he told him that, well, he too was gay. And, he said, this made things so much easier for his parishioner and gave him a comfort and he was able to talk more openly with him.
And, right at the end of our chat, Seán, I asked him did he feel conflicted about being part of a church that has such strong views on homosexuality. And his answer, which I wrote down, I thought was quite elegant. He said to me ‘we’re told in the gospel that the truth will set you free. The official church has not asked to know our truth. One problem with the church today is that it keeps on answering questions people are not asking. As a gay priest I am being told things about myself, by people who are either ignorant or in denial and don’t do anything to find out what it is like for me. That, to my mind, is what is really sinful’. I thought that was a good way of summing it up.”
Listen back here
Previously: How Does She Know?
