49 thoughts on “Real Love

    1. andyourpointiswhatexactly

      I was hoping we might get to see the pingwings making sweet squawking love at the end, so I’m only giving it a seVEN out of ten.

          1. andyourpointiswhatexactly

            Awful, awful thing. I was wondering what could be so serious as to keep her away from work…

      1. Mikeyfex

        Except pingwings don’t make sweet squaking love. They make some nasty nookie. Some real next level sh!t.

          1. Mikeyfex

            The first guy to document it on one of the Antarctic expeditions wrote the bit about mating in Latin so that only a gentleman would be able to understand it. Nothing is too far with em. Paedophilia, necrophilia, gay stuff, ATM, you name it.

            This is all from QI though.

          1. Mikeyfex

            I did but it was too late. Penguins, it turns out are still quite distinguishable in negatives so my name was already mud.

    1. GiGi

      Seriously the man does not own a monopoly on Penguins. Put in the word penguin to Amazon and there are 223,280 results. John Lewis is a massive brand, lovely and all as OJ is, i don’t think they need to be looking to one person as the owner of the penguin. Remember the dancing penguins movie??????

  1. Mani

    Was waiting for the penguin to encourage the child to kill is parents so that they could be ‘together forever’

    1. Mani

      They still make them which leaves us with only one outstanding issue. You need to ring your Nan’s neighbours and ask if they’ve seen her lately. If not, head over. Bring some Fabreeze.

      1. Pale Blue Dot Cotton

        What’s the shelf life of the bars? No point rocking up to her house if there isn’t even still some in the press.

        1. Mani

          6 months in a normal household. However, on crossing the threshold of an elderly relative all baked goods are rendered immediately stale.

        1. Mani

          That’s the kind of event that burn’s itself psychically into it’s surroundings. God help anyone who builds a hotel on that patch of land.

          1. Alfred E. Neumann

            I did an “ALL BjoRk AND No PJ MaKES ALf A DUlL BoY” response to this which has been caught in the filters somehow, but you would have liked it.

            I like you, Mani. I always liked you. You were always the best of them.

  2. ivan

    They hit the motherlode in 2011 with the Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want one. This is grand, but the song? Christ, the Beatles’ Jeff Lynn-produced version was better, and there’s something I never thought I’d find myself typing.

    1. EvilRobotDanny

      Slow down there buddy. There’s always room for opinion, but ain’t nobody badmouths Jeff Lynne on my watch….AIN’T NOBODY

      1. ivan

        I’m not dissing Jeff as much as you’d think; the drum sound thing that’s his trademark gets on my wick *a bit*, but my real point was that a track Lennon didn’t think worthy of recording and which the rest of the Beatles worked on with a view to giving a bit of ‘oomph’ to the Anthology 2 marketing spend, still sounds a bajillion times better than the fey indiewank on show here.

      2. Mani

        Jeff Lynne sucks.
        ELO suck worse.
        You could happily remove them from the lexicon of popular music and there would be no loss.

  3. Nikkeboentje

    So, Monty and Mabel the penguins have twitter accounts but they’re not following each other (yet). I can’t wait to see how their love story plays out.

  4. Frilly Keane, Anyone?

    BS. Now that the Christmas Spirit has appeared.

    How about organising a screening of Nativity 3 for us.

    The Lighthouse crowd would love t’have a marathon of Nativities 1 2 and 3. They love a sing song.

    Is it doable?

    1. Mani

      I’m sure it would be easier to to arrange for someone to shit in your eyes for four hours instead. It’s the same thing really. They could even eat some tinsel for roughage.

      1. Frilly Keane, Anyone?

        You better watch out
        You better not cry
        You better not pout
        I’m telling ya why
        Santy Clause is coming to town

        To the Justin Bieber version please Mandy

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