23 thoughts on “Lonely Hearts

    1. Soundings

      Worse, he’s hawking “miracles”. Weren’t those TV3 fortune-tellers told off for similar?

      It’s nothing but a racket to get auld wans into church to pay 50c for candles, and donate €2 x three times a Mass.

    1. Soundings

      ‘cept Prods, gays, baters, divorcees, bastards, trannies, anyone who works on a Sunday, blasphemers, contraception users and most likely, women. Every else, they’re golden.

      1. Talismania!

        Don’t confuse him for the strange cults that have sprung up in his memory. He mainly didn’t like money lenders, rich people and, eventually, people with big nails.

  1. Drogg

    No way Jesus would be single, with those rock hard abs and shapely beard he would be snapped up instantly.

    1. John E. Bravo

      Every day I see something on this site that reminds me of ‘Hamlet 2’ starring Steve Coogan. Today, this was it.

  2. Spaghetti Hoop

    If he got a real job and stayed away from the spirits and the prossies he might have a better chance.

  3. Joe the Lion

    Lonely hearts club tell me why do they call you lonely? you’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been

  4. Richard Maher-O'Mahony-Cuchulainn

    They’re actually prayers, Fir-ass. You’re not funny. “Ooh let’s be coool and mock Jesus Christ”…. how very risque of you.

    1. Clampers Outside!

      There’s nothing risque about it, it’s all run of the mill. And why not, they’ve been lying to and bashing the public for years and when caught they had to have an apology literally dragged out of them, and then only half hearted was it given.

      Nothing wrong with bashing an institution guilty as sin of all that, in all seriousness and fairness.

  5. Sam

    2 things spring to mind.

    1) Where it says in brackets “mention favour” , was that text supposed to be changed to “don’t let them find out twas me ringing Nigeria from Leinster House” or whatever applicable request is aimed at sky-daddy?

    2) Are there (non-church) papers in other EU countries that do this or just ours?

  6. Kieran NYC

    I love the way Jesus points at the shining heart in his chest, in case we wouldn’t notice the shining heart in his chest.

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