Alan Shatter, Dublin TD and former Justice Minister
Excited about chat with Sean Moncrieff on Newstalk around 1.30 today and doing something different! Show one of my secret quirky pleasures.
— Alan Shatter (@AlanShatterTD) July 9, 2015
UNMISSABLE: @AlanShatterTD is on at 1.30 to read some of his poetry #SeanNT — Sean Moncrieff (@SeanMoncrieff) July 9, 2015
Time for a ‘rick-off?
Complete this rhyme:
There was a part-time poet called Shatter…
Lines must close at 2pm 3pm
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There was a part-time poet named Shatter,
Who nattered and nattered and nattered
To the Garda Commissioner about matters
That really he shouldn’t have, and so they both lost their jobs but probably have big pensions anyway so do they give two sh**s
There was a part-time poet called Shatter
As corrupt as auld Sepp Blatter
He should be in jail
Or at least out on bail
Except he’s rich so it doesn’t matter
Winner!
+1
There was a part-time poet called Shatter,
Who came in for news and a natter,
His rhymes weren’t worth hearin’,
‘Cept to avoid talk of Guerin
And all other topics that matter!
There was a part-time poet called Shatter,
Who deigned to broadcast inane frivolous chatter,
And so, to the sounds of “good grief”,
He pitched up beside Moncreiff,
The upshot; little more than pitter patter
No job to go to?
There was a part time poet called shatter
Who resigned over some police matter
His book was quite shat
And further to that,
I’m sure that his poems will be shatter.
There once was an ex minister of justice
Whose chief commissioner thought he was full of toughness
But justice is not blind
Callinan resigned
And still the system has no robustness
There was a part-time poet named Shatter
Went on Denis fm for a natter
Jumping over Moncrief
Callinan, the old police chief
Landed an overdue clatter
Fuppin Spoon!
There was a part-time poet called Shatter
Whose poetry books were on fire
To extinguish them quick, and save all his ricks
He asked would I empty me bladder
But he’s a lying aul prick, so I put away me dick
And told him, it’s not worth the bother
There was a part-time poet called Shatter
A good man’s name he did try to splatter
But Wallace surprised,
Amid cover-ups and lies,
And delivered his head on a platter
Good one.
There was a part-time poet called Shatter
Got the commissioner’s head on a platter
Now his latest hook –
with his poems and his book –
try making his wallet grow fatter.
There was a part-time poet called Shatter
Who always enjoyed his own patter
He would talk the talk
But could he walk the walk?
He strolled into Newstalk for a natter
There was a part-time poet called Shatter
who liked his cod in beer batter
But along came the rossers
To give him some bother
So he drove off as mad as a hatter
There was a part-time poet called Shatter
but because water charges, symphiosotomy victims and poor women getting battered
really none of this clickbait stuff matters
I’ve only spotted this now, so too late to cook up an entry, but for heaven’s sake, give us a first line that scans!
There was a part-time poet called Shatter
Who used the police chief as a ratter
He liked to learn slease
About his fellow TDs
But they’re both gone now and no longer matter
There was a part-time poet called Shatter
Who is a fupper
There once was a part time poet named Shatter
Who was actually the first proper reforming minster for Justice in a long time
Who tackled issues most would not touch with a 6ft Justice pole for fear of ending on the dole
Citizenship reform, gay marriage referendum, judges pay, prison conditions to name a few
But he’s a bit different and a bit of a snob and a rare sight in the Dail as a proud Jew.
So we canned him good. That’s politics for you.