Everyone Must Get Sued



The inevitable ‘legals’ from Himself.

Will this ever end?

To: Meagher Solicitors
From: Broadsheet:

Hello there

May we draw your attention to this post today. You will see that we made clear when reprinting the ‘Waterford Whispers News’ article that it (the article) was satire and the website (WWN) is a fake news website.

May we also draw your attention to the definition of defamation in the Defamation Act 2009. Having regard to the context in which we presented the WWN article, no reasonable person could think we were asserting its contents were true. Quite the contrary. Accordingly your client has not been defamed and there are no grounds to remove the article.

Thank you very much



Earlier: No One Is beyond Satire

Been there? Buy the T-shirt.

Trembly UPDATE:


A war on two fronts?

Letter received last night by stoic and reasonably-priced ‘sheet web providers Hosting Ireland.

More as we/they/you/all of us get it.

Thanks Will

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111 thoughts on “Everyone Must Get Sued

  1. Mr. T.

    Must be a bit soul destroying having the retained job of trawling the world of media to see if precious little Denis is being slagged off.

    The man needs to do him himself a favour and get over himself.

    1. Gav D

      Pish. They’re coining it. I’d be delighted to be acting on behalf of someone so litigation-happy.

      1. Atticus

        I wonder how often he’s briefed on who his weekly sue-ee is. Or is it just a case of him telling them to just use their own discretion and go crazy as they see fit.

        1. Martina

          Redacted and Mr. M. are best friends from college and the firm worked on Tribunal for him. No need to feel sorry for them at all.

        2. Mé Féin

          My guess is they put the week’s Google Alerts in a hat on Friday and decide who will get sued that way.

    2. Parochial Central

      “Get over himself” That’s some mountain to climb, for a fat fu[redacted].

    1. Fergus the magic postman

      Also, good to see The Man With A Tiny Penis putting all those taxes he’s not paying to good use in the country he’s not paying them.

    1. meadowlark

      I have it on good authority that if you stand in front of the mirror and say his name five times… Oh wait… Hmmm

  2. realPolithicks

    Fair play to you lads, somebody has to stand up to this bo**ix. If necessary you should set up a legal defense fund, I’d be happy to contribute to it.

    1. bisted

      …wasn’t that the point of the t-shirts?…as a member of the commentariat I shall now buy and wear that shirt with pride…

  3. Squiggleyjoop

    “There’s a website saying I was jailed in a parallel universe, sue them.”
    “Ok but Denis, listen, the whole thing is satire, just a joke. Sueing them will only make it worse.”
    “But I wasn’t jailed in a parallel universe.”
    “I know that. What I’m saying is-”
    “Are you saying I was jailed in a parallel universe too?”
    “No I-”
    “That’s it, your sued too. In fact, sue me as well just to be safe.”

  4. Always Wright

    Is it possible that A Man With A Tiny Penis could be unaware that all this is happening? Perhaps he hired a legal firm and gave general instructions, something like “Don’t let them slag off my tiny penis,” but the legal firm was distracted by visions of dancing € signs and got a bit carried away. Every time a firm sends a ‘Hey, you, watchit now, you messer you’ letter, they clock up giant bills that A Man With A Tiny Penis will probably pay without even looking at them.
    Maybe his conscience is at him and this is his way of giving something back to the Irish economy. He’s hoping the trickle-down effect will kick in, and the rising tide of solicitors’ fees will lift all boats.

    1. Fergus the magic postman

      I’ll bet a that A Man With A Tiny Penis knows all about it, and he’s like a raging bull, because he cannot control any of it regardless of his ill-gotten wealth. I bet he’s in such a rage that all the blood in his body has rushed to his head.

    2. SOMK

      Plausible, but the actions fit the pathology of buying huge chunks of the media or offering donations to political parties, same ethos. You don’t buy newspapers at the start of the dot com era thinking you’re going to make a profit, a school child could tell you that. You buy it because you want to control how people think and what they say, because your ability to make money, your power, is reliant on controlling what people say and think. Of course if it wasn’t man with tiny penis a, it’d be man with tiny penis b, or even man with tiny penis c, the rise of one tiny penis coincides with the fall of another, FOREVER.

  5. Diverbuzz

    Meagher Solicitors

    Attached is a letter that we received on 7th August. I feel that you should be aware that some bottomhole is signing your name to stupid letters.

    Very truly yours,

    Broadsheet. Ie

    1. Diverbuzz

      Ah come on, bottom hole?, eejit, or spanner would have worked as an suitable substitute to a-hole! :)

  6. ahjayzis

    OOooh Broadsheet I LOVE it when you get all righteous and stand your ground, makes me all gooey!

    But surriously, nice job, you rock.

  7. Ciara

    Why am I singing its a new dawn, it’s a new day and I’m feeling good?? Broadsheet giving a bit hope – stand firm we’re with you:)

  8. windy

    The government need to introduce a tax on solicitors letters , that way the man with small penis would be in a quandary – “you mean if I issue this letter I will pay tax in facking Ireland “?

  9. Windy

    the govt need to introduce a tax on solicitors letters from Maltese residents , like €10million per letter

    1. sǝɯǝɯ ʇɐ pɐq

      -No way!

      I remember you from Trumpton.
      Do you remember, when you used to be a Miller?


      -Yes, I know it was a long time ago….

      This is useless. He doesn’t understand anything I’m saying, does he?. I’m going home.

  10. The Downes Side

    Seeing as we already have one for WWN’s legal fees, can we a “Never mind the bollox” style shirt with [REDACTED] on it to pay for broadsheet’s legal fees?

  11. rugbylane

    Personally I prefer the title “Ireland’s Tapeworm” to the “Man with the Tiny Penis” nom de plume.

    1. meadowlark

      I dunno… I’ve been thinking Voldemort all day

      if you say his name without due respect a solicitor will appear out of thin air to sue/kill/both.

      Something like that?

    1. Medium Sized C

      It’s easy. You Lulz up the people anonymously in the name of anonymous. And it will transpire that anonymous will have lulzed up the people.

  12. Lilly

    Love your reply BS! The voice of reason prevails. I’d heard Denis was thick (apart from in the trouser department apparently) but hadn’t realised just how thick. Could his solicitor not explain the meaning of satire to him.

    1. martco

      wonder what the solicitor of the man with the teeny tiny weeny penis would do if everyone on here and their friends were to:
      – print off as many copies of the WWN article as they can afford to (A3 size is very good)
      – leave them accidentally lying around in any place they visit this weekend
      – paste them to every lamppost and billboard and hoarding with reckless abandon

  13. meadowlark

    Oh for God’s sake, Barbara, here we go again.

    Anyone up for funding a few SATIRICAL billboards perhaps?

  14. Sammyq

    He might be able to sue you for what you print burt he cant sue you for what you think , and I think he is a complete and utter w****r .

  15. mulder

    By the by has anyone seen what dustin the turkey be tweeting on Dennis.
    It takes a turkey to talk turkey and call it as it be.
    Its a toss up between suing a turkey or suing some poor unfortunate on here.
    Could he sue God, as well as all good catholics, it be his fault really.
    Hope spelt catholic right as would not want to offend anyone.

    1. a3katie

      Just looked up Dustin Twitter – brilliant!
      “BreakingNews:Denis O’Brien issues legal proceedings against bakers Johnston & Mooney for placing fellow baker O’Brien last in their line up.”

  16. Clampers Outside!

    “A Boy Threatened To Sue”
    Dinny boy left home one day, a pay pack for M Lowry
    As was found through investigation in the Moriarty
    That a lagnappe was passed for a favour from the man.
    Now, don’t blame him cause it’s just a sop
    Not the dumbest thing until he was caught
    Now before we say more, he might just threaten to sue.

    Well, he didn’t think it quite a joke
    But it got a lot of laughs from comments folk,
    Indie media took the fight for the whole life truth.
    Some commenter would giggle and he’d get red
    And another laugh and he’d send legal in ahead,
    I tell ya, life ain’t easy for a boy threatened sue.

    Well, as a snake controlling media tyke
    He’s losing the run of himself like a kid on a trike,
    As his legal eagles descend on Broadsheet Towers.
    He was big and bent and gray and old,
    And Broadsheet looked at him and blood ran cold
    And Broadsheet said: ” You’re the boy threatened to sue!’ How do you do!
    Now your gonna die!!”

    (can’t do another verse… that song is lonnnnng man)

  17. mulder

    Just got an email from a serious chap, who is not a solicitor, now could do a joke here but i will refrain, as most solicitors do, sue that is.
    Anyway, the email states that will not be laughing, when Denny is president.
    Of Ireland that be and ehh not America.
    So Denny can visit president Donald Trump in the blue house as Donald did not like the color scheme.
    Ode to joy, what fun.
    The 21st century is turning out to be a real whizz.
    If only had of known.

  18. scottser

    Im gonna enjoy medium sized c’s defence of AMWATP’s ‘entrepreneurial genius; bribing your way to a position of influence then sueing the poo out of anyone who questions you.

  19. mulder

    Denny is a comedian, the man who gave us comedy gold, who could forget or will ever forget Irish water, which will gurgle down the centuries through time forever.
    Next is the fresh air tax, i mean air, everyone uses it , not free.
    It`s irish air.
    The unfortunate thing is, could see folk lining up, to actually pay it.
    What`s the German for Greece.

  20. Turners Corner

    Just imagine we could of had Orange but we ended up with ESaT.

    Sold after a few months to BT.

    But they were the good old days when a wink was as good as a nod to a fat man with a small penis.

      1. Anne

        Ah, that’s great..

        Nice one Broadsheet.

        What the fupp is wrong with this bully boy?
        It’ll all come crashing down around him one of the days.

  21. Fergus the magic postman

    So A Man With A Small Penis was unsuccessful in frightening Broadsheet into removing the post, so now said man is trying to frighten Hosting Ireland into removing the content. If unsuccessful here, A Man With A Small Penis (who incidentally is a pathetic bully) will be attempting to sue the internet.

  22. rory

    I heard Today FMs news headlines about an hour ago, featuring DOB’s attempt to sue the Dail.
    If one were so inclined, one could interpret the DOB headline as an attempt to legitimise ‘the defence of his good name’; with the way it is worded and that. Only if one was so inclined that is.

    I wonder how many more people will become ‘inclined’ when they hear about DOBs threatening of Broadsheets web provider.

    1. rory

      Apologies for the garbled-ness. And ‘if one were so inclined.’
      I got the impression he got preferential treatment in a today fm news item, through the way it was worded. That’s all I have to say really.

  23. Mark Dennehy

    “all necessary steps to protect our client’s rights”

    Maybe start with some basic legal educational materials and a bit of tutoring and then a slap to the back of the skull and yelling “Cop on you muppet” very loudly?

  24. ReproBertie

    I’d love to see them explain in court the extent of the damage done to their client as a result of Broadsheet reposting a clearly satiric article and go on to explain how their client was in no way damaged by the legal action they took making him the butt of jokes from bar stools to bingo halls the length and breadth of the country.

  25. Anne

    Just seeing the update.. his minions are writing to Broadsheet’s hosting company. How pathetic.

    What part of the satirical piece is he not happy about? The part where, in a parallel universe he’s jailed for bribing politicians? Or does he like to pretend it never happened and the Moriarty tribunal is a work of fiction?
    If an non satirical piece was written, where the author proposes that he should be jailed for bribing a politician, would he feel defamed then?
    If the Cretin had mentioned his name here –
    in her non satirical piece on white collar crime, would he feel defamed also?
    He’s some fupping neck on him. Just because you weren’t charged and jailed doesn’t mean it didn’t happen diddums.

    He’s a bully of the highest order.. the preferential interest rates he got, at our expense, he bullied and threatened his way to getting. And that’s just one example.

    It really is disgusting carry on. When you think of all the cuts and higher taxes, with the likes of him getting write downs on deals and preferential rates.. and him throwing money at solicitors like it’s going out of fashion.. just disgusting.

  26. mulder

    If i might say, if this were the states, well would have freedom of speech but with that would come a lot of other problems.
    However, out there, ye could counter sue.
    Call the bluff.
    If it is a kind of bluff or a sort of political bluff.
    The heat is on Denny, so does that mean, the spotlight is off Enda.

  27. Tom Sullivan

    How embarrassing it must be for Meaghers to have to be schooled in defamation law by an online news site!

Comments are closed.

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