‘I Woke To See A Naked Man Deep In Thought’

With a pair of silk boxer shorts [as modelled by Karl’s brother top] PLUS a duvet set from Ireland-based bloke bedding online specialists Brosheets to give away we asked: what was your most unusual sleep?

You answered (in some detail) in your tens.

Runners up

ZeligIsJaded: “The most unusual night’s sleep I’ve ever had was lying on the back wall of a pier. I had nagged a friend into taking me out on a fishing trawler, but made the mistake of going drinking with real fishermen the night before.They brought me, sleeping, from the pub to the pier but couldn’t wake me up.
There was an ice room on the trawler that they decided to throw me in to try and rouse me, but to no avail. I snuggled into the ice quite happily by all accounts. Unable to break the spell, they carried me on to the pier again, where I awoke in the fetal position the next morning, perched on the back wall of the pier 15 feet above some fairly uninviting looking water. I’ve never been out on a trawler since!”

Declan: “The most unusual night’s sleep I’ve ever had was inside a stranger’s hot press after a one-night stand went awry.”

Mikeyfex: “The most unusual night’s sleep I’ve ever had was in a guest house in the Himalayas, sharing a room with my best mate and travelling companion. The place was old and run-down – wooden, wobbly and warped – and it was our first night on the trail proper after hiking for 5 days.
I woke in the darkness to the sound of my panicked mate loud-whispering ‘Mike, who’s that, are you alright?’. When I sat upright he relaxed his posture and told me that from his side of the room he could see someone standing over me, looking down at me. A little freaked out, him more than I, I think, we eventually went back to sleep. An indeterminable amount of time later it was my turn; for no apparent reason I blinked my eyes open to see a man standing over me, moving in on me with a pillow in hands, coming for my head. I must have let out a roar as I grabbed my own pillow and swiped it through the air at this person, as the pillow flashed between my eyes and the figure he disappeared and was gone. My mate was sitting up now looking at me. ‘Shall we catch the sunrise?’ he said. ‘Bloody good call’, I said. (for the record we both put it down to it being our first night at altitude in about 10 days combined with the suggestiveness of our surroundings) And now in a shameless act of brown nosing; I really like those shorts and I would suggest I fit your target market almost exactly.”

Art: “Last night, when I got about 10 minutes sleep because I spent many hours cleaning up several tsunamis of vomit after my 5-year-old (without my knowledge) ate half of the newly-made Christmas pudding just before she went to bed…Ice-white crisp sheets sound REALLY attractive to me right now……500-thread cotton sounds fantastic, but tbh, I’d settle for just the 1-thread at the moment.”

Murtles: “The most unusual night’s sleep I’ve ever had was in a large washing machine in a laundromat in Japan. Having stayed in these cheap “pod” hotels for a couple of nights, jet lag and a weird rice wine drink obviously led me astray and I hopped into a washing machine thinking it was a pod. Thankfully the nice lady who started shrieking loudly when she saw me saved me from…..eh……what-cha-ma-call-it…..oh yeah……death.”

Ben M: “The most unusual night’s sleep I’ve ever had was when my housemate’s boyfriend, in a drunken stupor, mistook my bedroom door for that of the adjacent bathroom door. I woke up to see a confused naked man staring at me deep in thought, I very quickly realised that the thought going through his head was why there was a man lying in a bed where he thought the toilet should be. Don’t worry, the confusion didn’t bother him for too long, he proceeded to carry out what he left his own bed to do in the first place. To make things even more unusual he decided not to return to his own bed and decided to get into mine. I quickly exited the scene and slept on the couch. Crux of the story is I need new bed linen.

sleeply-nighty-snoozy-snooze: “One of many unusual nights sleep occurred in Clonmel. I had imbibed heavily of various beer and vodka-based libation in a local hostelry. My consumption reached the levels which required the assistance of several less-intoxicated friends to accompany me to the rack-rented hovel which I liked to call home. I woke up the following morning, face down on my bed, with an indecently sparse level of clothing. I had no recollection of the previous evenings frivolities but noticed that there was a man’s watch on the locker beside my bed. It was not mine. The timepiece in question, belonged to one of the good samaritans who dragged me the considerable distance to my flat, disrobed me, and put me on the bed. All I could think was “What circumstances would have to occur to force my associate to remove his watch from his arm whilst they put me to bed ?” I met him in work the next day and returned the watch to him. No explanation was offered and none was asked for. It has been an unspoken intrigue ever since. Good sleep though.”

JW: “So I was in a town in Northern Spain, night out after not really drinking for a few months, went mad. Fell asleep in a porch and awoken by Police and shepherded in back of squad car. I sobered quite quickly and protested that I was only staying a few minutes away so no need for the car ride!!
They insisted and drove me up the mountains. Either they were having a laugh or they were going to bate the sh*te out of me, I didn’t really know but was scared so when they stopped I simply legged it. No idea where I was I just ran through a field in the darkness and kept going.
I eventually saw a sign for the place I was staying which was 10km away, kept walking and got back to apartment. My wallet and phone etc. had been taken by cops so had no key card and had to sleep outside my apartment which I had paid a good few quid for. I was let in eventually at about 8AM when guy arrived for work in reception. I was happy to be alive and back in my bed however..
I was awoken at about Midday then by receptionist who said Police wanted to talk to me. So I get to reception and one of the cops is there with all my belongings IE passport, wallet and phone. He made me sign some sort of waiver that said they were only having a laugh or something. It was in Spanish so don’t know what I signed really. I was very happy to get my stuff back and very relived I’m still around to tell the tale, strange night!!”

Jesst:The most unusual nights sleep I’ve ever had was to wake up in the middle of the night to a clatter of nose and a woman standing beside my bed. I woke my boyfriend paralytic with fear until I realised it was his best friend’s wife, both of who were staying in our house that night. He’d gone for a midnight tinkle. Meanwhile, she had sleep walked into our room in just a tshirt and panties. She was shouting obscenities and getting annoyed. My BF got out of bed and tried to direct her back to their bedroom but instead she pulled down her knickers, full muff on show. He had to wrestle her back to the bedroom, muff out, while I stared on in horror, offering no assistants what so ever. He got her in the room, closed the door, and came back to bed. We then heard her husband come back to bed and a little murmuring of chat.
The next day no one mentioned the midday muff show. To this day we’re not sure if they even know it happened…

silky willy: The most unusual night’s sleep I’ve ever had was the first night I slept SOBER in my boyfriend’s bed. Usually a terribly light & grumpy sleeper, I somehow fell into one of the most deep and dreamy sleeps I’ve ever had.

Weldoninhio:“The most unusual night’s sleep I’ve ever had was 9 one Friday night back when i was a student. Heard my phone ring and without opening my eyes could tell it was morning because it was bright. Reached down and the phone was on my chest. Answered it, was my boss, “where are you?” “no idea” “what do you mean no idea?” Opened my eyes “I can see the sky” ” you were meant to be in work 10 minutes ago”. I hung up and threw my phone about a foot away from myself. Heard a landline go off in the distance, had already closed my eyes again.
Suddenly heard my mother calling me. “You fecking eejit, what are you doing?” “What?” Opened my eyes again and looked around. I had been asleep in the centre of my next door neighbours front garden, in the middle of the council estate i lived in. It was 9:10am, at least 30-50 people must have walked past without waking me, checking if i was ok, or anything!!!
and my ma made me go into work!!!!!!!!

Happy Molloy: “The most unusual night’s sleep I ever had was in a phone box without a door facing the wind and rain coming in from the Atlantic on Achill Island because I went there without a tent thinking I would sleep agin’ the wall. I turned blue.”

And the WINNER….

AndyDufresne2011: “The most unusual night’s sleep I’ve ever had was embarrassing. I was in my early twenties and going to an interview for a state agency in a very old office building off Leeson Street in Dublin. The interview was at 4pm and I was a bit early so thought I’d head up anyway. I got into the lift with what I thought was an employee but turned out to be the middle aged woman (who was brought in from an outside recruitment agency) to interview me and one other person.
The lift started and almost immediately crunched to a halt between the 2nd and 3rd floors. This was in early August and it was very hot. We both started to sweat. Neither of us had mobiles (not as common back then) so we just pressed the alarm and waited. An hour later it was becoming increasingly clear no one knew we were there. It was another 2 hours before we managed to crack the lift doors open an inch and start yelling. Eventually a security guard doing his rounds heard us and peeped in through the gap in the foot or so of visible upper floor. He asked how we got there. I sh*t you not.
The guard eventually got hold of the lift technician (who was sick of coming out every other week fixing that particular lift) and he took his time. We reckoned the security guard forgot to mention there were actual people trapped in it this time. He arrived at 8pm, surveyed the situation and went off for reinforcements. We were begging the security guard to ring the Fire Brigade at this stage but he just kept saying he would get into trouble (for what like?!). At 10pm (with the extra technicians probably on triple time) they started to work on getting us out. This did this until 2am! at which point they simply disappeared. It was 4am before they returned and we were eventually released just before 6am. I walked home with the birds singing. The embarrassing thing was, after getting to know the woman a bit , between the quiet hours of 2am to 4am we both fell asleep. Not in each other’s arms or anything but bloody close enough as the lift just about fitted two people. Waking up at 4am when we heard noises again we both looked sheepishly at each other, tried to flatten our creased clothes and sticking up hair and once again stood up to wait for freedom. It was a shot night’s sleep but I fear I’ll remember it forever.
The lowest point was when I made a weak joke about her maybe interviewing me in the lift as we had nothing else to do. She didn’t find it funny. A week later I got my interview with another recruitment agency person. I didn’t get the job. I never found out what happened to the other person who was due to interview. That building has since been refurbished but still gives me the gawks whenever I pass it to this day.”

Thanks all.

Brosheets

Previously: Wake Up Sheetle

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