You Promised Me Broadsheet Was Waiting For Me



‘Twas the night before Xmas
And all through the Broadsheet site
ABM was bah humbug
Along with the rest of the far right
Bodger had his stockings hanging
Moynes playing Wham on loop
Clampers was buying Pampers
Whilst shopping with Spaghetti Hoop
Scottser had put the kids to bed
And sat down by the fire
Don had wrapped all the presents
And wished for her Xmas desire
All of a sudden the site crashed
There was no access
Was it a DDoS?
that left the site in a mess?
Moynes jumped in anger
And let out a roar
There stood DOB’s solicitors
Three of them at the door
They exclaimed at poor Moynes
‘We can assure we will sue’
Everything seem fruitless
What could BS do?
The threat seemed real
And a horrible stinker
They got straight on the phone
To Legal Coffee Drinker
A letter was forthcoming
As they did up a reply
They figured to themselves
‘This we shall enjoy’
“DOB you have been bad,
Scaring everyone on your list
I’m sure Santa is looking at you
And feels very pissed
Your legal threats are nothing
Santa is bringing you coal
And take your legal threats
And ram them up your hole”



Broadsheet will be open all next week operating a lighter schedule. Happy Xmas all.

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53 thoughts on “You Promised Me Broadsheet Was Waiting For Me

  1. Nibbers

    Sorry, do you guys actually work for Broadsheet, or what’s the story? The comments section gets to feel like one big stinky bachelor pad sometimes. Not saying I don’t like hanging out there. Just saying, is all.

    1. Anne

      I not gone on the Clannish poo myself… you’re brilliant clampers, no you are Hoop, no you are, i want your baby clamps .. awe group hug.
      P*ss off like. Start a facebook group or something.

      1. Clampers Outside!

        Anne…. Anne….. ANNE!

        I was using Hoop to make you jealous….
        I know

        It was wrong

        *wipes willy on curtain*
        It was a big mistake

        *shows frontal nudity*
        See… all clean like….

      1. Anne

        Yeah, keep it to the comments maybe .. but whole posts of the poo? It means nothing to most people like.

        You get the same ones ridiculing people posting pics of themselves getting engaged and go on to feel like this circlejerk poo is so worthwhile. Eh, just to advise it’s not.

        They’re like the popular girls in school.. self centered twits.

        1. Nice Anne (Dammit)

          What about the popular boys or are you just holding girl’s behaviour up for your negative example?

          1. Anne

            I’m not really..
            But it’s the ‘don’t know you, don’t care.. you should expect to be ridiculed’ attitude about an engagement, then there’s this, that not one single fupp was given about either.

            I just feel like the internets needs a bit of balancing out today is all.

          2. Dόn Pídgéόní

            Hmm I see what you’re saying, the engagement was nice, if not something that I would ever say yes to. But then, that’s the internet and that’s life, people don’t always care about what other people do.

        2. ahyeah


          Have to admit, when I realised what this post was about…I cringed a little. (Aside from the fact that it’s complete poo)

          1. MoyestWithExcitement

            Pffft. I’m too cool to care about not being cool because I joined a club for cool people. And that’s cool.

          2. realPolithicks


Comments are closed.

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