40 thoughts on “Anyone?

  1. Birneybau2

    Can I have a job wherein I trawl the internet all day and post my findings?

    I’d be very good at it.

    1. phil

      You already have a Job, if I understand , it involves visiting various sites you dont like posting on articles ‘Stupid Article’.
      Looks like the job satisfaction is going well

  2. Steve

    Irish women* : Irish men are all sh@&e.

    *spends the night talking to each other in packs near the bar looking at any bloke who comes near them like they have two heads and then heading off to Eddie rockets to spew said complaint.

    1. The Real Jane

      Women, eh? Stupid cows. Don’t they know that they may only leave the house after 7 to be chatted up?

  3. missred

    “When a girl doesn’t initially find me attractive, I’ve always been able to talk my way around it”. If I don’t find someone attractive, they do not become more so if they try and persuade me that I should do.

  4. Gorev Mahagut

    1. Lots of eye-contact, no talking.
    2. When the tension is unbearable: ask her to pass you “ze Kerrygold”.
    3. Inform her father you’ll be taking “the horse to France”.
    You’re welcome.

    1. Cool_Hand_Lucan

      And then she replies in her finest muck-savage accent, “Put a bittah buttor on de spuds, André.”

      Romance 80s style, people.

  5. Kolmo

    What the hell do I do? – Move to Barcelona, Copenhagen, Seville, Milan, Bern, Sydney, San Fransisco, Tokyo, Shanghai, Prague, pretty much any city, anywhere else in the world, get some experience with and see how much less of an ordeal it is trying to make a potential connection with a nice polite woman in those lovely places, then come back to Ireland and marry a Columbian, French, Japanese, Australian, etc…:D

  6. phil

    He is doing it wrong, you find a line of wimmin in the pub, then walk up the line asking each one

    you dance?
    NO
    you dance?
    NO
    you dance?
    NO
    you Dance?
    hmmmmm

    BINGO

  7. me...

    She will bite her lip/blush if she likes you but that only gets you into round two… the socio-economic, answer one question incorrectly and you’re out, round.

    1. President von Clownstick

      It’s not fupping Dawson’s creek. He needs to stop being such a cuck about it and just take what he wants.

  8. Paddy

    It wasn’t the Wexford girls that told him to F-offf. Must have been visitors. The Wexford ones would have said ;-offf Hun!

  9. :-Joe

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgTVrcRUMig
    – EXTENDED/memeness..

    You’re problem is that you haven’t been given the oirish hetro disco instruction manual to help you decode the strange behaviour of the Irish gurrlls..(or just ignore and make them swoon anyway)

    Either that or there’s something you’re not telling us but you need the same prescription anyway….
    youtu.be/VF6SxjLBfHk?t=84 – Just be more like this..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kiwln2PSoMw – The name’s ????….!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BP7eUxdwVzc
    – Film edit summary(possibly better than the original cut).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5XP409pxNg
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3oFgWDESDk
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzlJmr9oqCU
    The REMIXES Album coming soon.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g8at-QEsOM
    – No need to panic.. this meme has been out of control for years….

    It’s already transcended human existence…

    :-J

  10. Nello

    Easy. Here ya go:

    Put on your best blue checkered lumberjack Super-dry shirt. Wear it under your black Superdry jacket. A nice pair of boot-cut jeans, relaxed fit with your polished brown dancing shoes. Put enough Brylcream in to bring your fringe to a peak at your forehead. Think Cliffs of Moher here.

    Now, the important bit. Hang out with the lads all night. Bit of pre-drinking in the gaff maybe. Then in to the local. Get several pints on board. Then off to the local nightclub. But before you do, quick Jagerbomb. I find it gets the juices flowing nicely. Gives you the sugar, caffeine, alcohol and, most importantly, the confidence you’ll need. Now, in the club. Keep drinking. Plenty of shots, few pints. Maybe a cheeky ciggy or two. Get that nicotine buzz going.

    Now, when you are good and loose.. on the verge of a black-out (a brown-out), get on to the dance floor and just start screeching and hollering. Don’t be afraid to jump around and to sweat. The pheromones released by sweat attracts the ladies. Now everything might get a little hazy at this point but just stick with it. I guarantee success. You’ll get a few phone numbers, make a few contacts, shift the face off some young wan and you’ll be feeling as pleased a punch. Now, get in to Abra to celebrate. Taco fries. Home to bed. Throw off a few texts and snaps in the following days. Lovely sthuff.

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