58 thoughts on “Dear Mr Womble

          1. mildred st. meadowlark

            You sure about that? I’m sure I’ve seen you get your inner crass out after a couple of strong teas.

  1. Andrew

    There’s a lot of angry people about. I’m glad most people don’t have access to guns in Ireland.

  2. rotide

    I like the way he says ‘I might have’ needed to be in work, indicating that he didn’t actually need to be there. he was just late getting his organic quinoa salad.

    1. Listrade

      It’s the “I might have needed it for a ticketed non-refundable event” that gets me. Also makes me half believe it’s fake. Even with today’s levels of entitlement, nobody could be so bad to leave that as an example of an emergency.

  3. Murtles

    “John, it’s an emergency, you’re whole family are in hospital. Will I call you a taxi?”
    “No, thanks I’ll cycle my bike. Good day Sir”
    “But it’ll take you ages and it’s raining. Let me drive you so.”
    “I said good day Sir” *cycles off

  4. Tarfton Clax

    Or maybe (S)he’s not the kind of person who carries a hacksaw in his pocket, and was justifiably irritated that someone’s thoughtless actions had discommoded him from going about his business. (S)He should not have to justify why it was wrong and annoying to have behaved inn such a manner. Obviously the person who did so needs a lesson in manners. He/She was merely pointing out reasons why such behaviour was sub-optimal.

  5. Public Service

    prediction: the guy is mid-to-late thirties, ginger beard, losing his hair, works in IT in the public service and drinks craft beer

  6. Odockatee

    They are angry. But also organised enough to (a) get writing materials and write a letter and (b) to put it in a zip lock bag to ensure the recipient reads it regardless of weather conditions.

    Fight!

  7. GoddessDurga

    Incidentally, ‘wombles who do this often do so as a means of keeping your bike there for later stealing. Not pointing the finger at anyone.

    1. Gorev Mahagut

      My mate Orinoco says you shouldn’t use the c-word anymore, it’s offense to actual Wombles.

      1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

        Let me reach, let me beach
        On the shores of Tripoli

        Enjoy the earworm, motherfuppers.

          1. Rob_G

            If ever there was anyone in need of Enya’s unique brand of soothing New Age plinky-plonk harp music, it’s Moyest.

    2. Rob_G

      I’ve also heard that, but it doesn’t ring true: they would have to invest some of their own money (ill-gotten or otherwise) in buying a buy lock with no guaranteed return on investment.

        1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

          Dammit. I bought a lock yesterday. And a lovely bell, which irritatingly pings every time I cycle over a sleeping policeman.

  8. rotide

    I’ve just realised ‘womble gets past the botty-boo-ddidly-erino auto moderation.

    Let a new era of ‘wombling begin!

  9. Weldoninhio

    Surely if the bike is locked on top of his own, his bike will still be there when the recipient of the letter gets there?? It strikes me that the ‘womble in question may take umbrage at this correspondence and leave the original bike in a less than satisfactory condition.

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