137 thoughts on “Millennial Cocktails

  1. Neilo

    In re the Spritz, it’s a total rip-off. Order a Veneziano instead which omits the soda water entirely.

    1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

      Just dive in and have a negroni. That’ll put hairs on yer chest.
      YUM.

      1. Brother Barnabas

        campari’s a small bit gay. can get away with it in a dark setting + some alpha manspreading, but not if there’s a wedge of orange in it.

        1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

          It’s definitely a Mums’ drink.
          I love it with fresh pink grapefruit juice. Phoarrr. I’d hammer one of those down right now, I’ll tell you that for nothin’.

          1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

            With my teeth. Then I scrape the pulp off and fling it at the wall.
            Why do you ask, pudding?

          2. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

            To be fair, I’m sure that our technique isn’t that unusual so we’ll have to find a more, you know, US thing.

    1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

      You’re old fashioned, not able to press the reply button you aul eejit.

      1. Neilo

        @Joe Cool: great choice! Mind, there are very few cocktails from that time – none of them coloured blue or boasting tiny umbrellas – that aren’t blockbusters.

    1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

      You know, for a person who loves an aul drink of any kind really, I don’t think I’ve ever had a martini. I think it’s the tightass in me. It doesn’t seem like much bang for your buck.

      1. Janet, I ate my Avatar

        it’s a deceptive bang
        an understated bang if you like
        creeps up in slippers and then jumps on yer back like a wild badger
        bit like meself

          1. mildred st. meadowlark

            Southern comfort, white and lime.

            I feel as though I’ve just told you a great secret. Your choice of drink can be very telling, don’t you think?

          2. Nigel

            Just realised the world missed a trick when they called them Millennials rather than Milliennipedes.

      2. Basil Brush

        A martini is just pure booze…gin and a whisper of vermouth…had a couple of them at a New Years party…stright after we arrived in from the cold. It burnt my lips…

    2. The Ghost of Starina

      oh my, yes. A lady after my own heart. My pals always stare at me like I’m making a scene when I order a martini, exactly like that. and stirred, not shaken.

  2. Neilo

    Martinis are better drank at home unless you’re sufficiently flush. I like mine a little dirty – let’s keep our minds out the gutter, folks – with pearl onions or olives. Gin OK, vodka most definitely…Smirnoff ideally, very smooth for the money.

    1. Brother Barnabas

      and should be so cold that it startles. and tinker with the ratio too – around 1:3 vermouth; in for a penny and all that

      1. Neilo

        In preparation for cocktail night – usually Friday – I keep two shakers in the freezer at all times, ready for the mix. Whiskey sours with my own sweet/sour recipe or Cosmopolitans which if you make them 2 vodka to 1 Cointreau will get you badgered quick smart. The soundtrack is ALWAYS Latin-flavoured jazz or West Coast.

        1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

          I’d be happy to gatecrash that party. Though as usual I’d get overexcited and drink too much too quickly and sneak into your bedroom and fall asleep.

          1. Neilo

            @BB: No scientific breakthroughs without a lot of trial and error. I take it you tried Vegemite and Marmite first? I won’t ask for any footage from the labs if that’s OK :)

          1. Neilo

            @Lush, the trick for me is to use cheap bourbon – Tesco or Aldi own brand will suffice – and a decent sweet/sour combo (I go 60-55 lemon-lime juice to 45-40 simple syrup, maybe a drop of vanilla extract)

          2. ReproBertie (SCU)

            Yeah, thanks Neilo. I’m not really a cocktail man but I do like a whiskey sour.

          3. Neilo

            Good man, Bertie! A sour is tonic enough for a quiet Friday evening and robust enough to act as a building block for a weekend of imbibing

  3. The Old Boy

    Is a G&T really a cocktail? I thought cocktails were something more than a standard ordinary spirit+mixer+ice and lemon combo.

      1. Martco

        almost same…just spiced rum instead

        Manhattan good

        else beamish for a quiet pint or WW if several

        1. Papi

          Also, never mix Baileys with Guinness. Some infernal science explosion happens and will make you cry. One for the look, two for the waste.

          1. scottser

            bailey’s in a coffee though.
            mmmmmmmm
            but i digress – anyone for a long island iced tea?

          2. Brother Barnabas

            speaking of (but not really), do you remember when baby guinness was all the rage around george;s street pubs – especially ri ra around midnight. horrendous muck.

          3. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

            Baby Guinness is the shot with no alcohol in it. Well, sort of. What is the point?

          4. The Old Boy

            I was introduced to the Long Island Iced Tea a few years back by a member of the younger generation on the grounds that it was an unchallenging and relatively inexpensive way to get a large volume of spirits into yourself in a short space of time.

            I must say, it fills that niche rather well.

          5. Martco

            or what I caught my eldest fella at last year, a self assembled bottle of jungle juice as I called it…couple of inches of everything at hand plus (fatally) Baileys. it looked like puke. he learned a valuable lesson, never to mix spirits & dessert drinks.

          6. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

            Have you seen what a squeeze of lemon juice does to it? It turns it into a vomit-like substance. Aptly, I think.

          7. Martco

            and it had me wondering too…but to reproduce the thing my eldest had sneakily tried to concoct would involve wasting some good quality spirits.
            to my mind it has to be something acidic, found a clue here:

            https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cement_Mixer_(drink)

            not sure what spirit is acidic only thing I can think of was the Limoncello he probably added in.

            I almost made him drink it btw in that way whereby if u catch them smoking you feed them cigars till they go green & puke kinda way but I copped on thankfully

      1. The Old Boy

        “Sorry love, we don’t do cocktails” is a good old barman’s retort to a call for a Guinness and blackcurrant.

  4. Neilo

    I think it is. Mind, I assert that Harp’n’Senor Lime is a cocktail so I have no credibility whatsoever.

  5. Frilly Keane

    I’m not a stickler meself
    I’ll drink an’ting put in front of me
    Usually

    But not great with whiskey or brandy or other brown spirits
    And I had a bad experience with pink Aftershock one time : The Felons, Big Tracy and Barry White also being involved as far as I can remember

    But if ye’re buying
    Grey Goose and lime; no ice
    Or whatevers opened, as long as it’s not Chardonnay

    Oh yeah, and nothing with veg in it

  6. Bertie blenkinsop

    Guinness in the winter
    Cider in the summer
    Baileys and brandy when I’m on a mission.

    1. Neilo

      Oh Bertie, the B+B is one I save for when I’m down with a night of cold, dark drinking in the company of some hardened boozebags.

        1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

          Brandy Baileys? Isn’t whiskey the base for Baileys? I thought it’d be nicer with Jameson?
          Obviously you like what you like but I’m just womansplaining to you why your drink is wrong.
          You’re welcome.

          1. Neilo

            ‘Womansplain THIS, baby’, sez I pointing to an empty snifter and nodding my head towards the bar tender.

          2. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

            Not even to the Afters? Though I never go to Afters as a matter of principle.

        2. Neilo

          Jesus, Bertie, I told you to chill on the invitation list…now everyone will know you and I are eloping to Sitges for a quickie do.

          1. Neilo

            Bertie, I read somewhere that Barnabas grooms dogs….but not in the good way.
            #SuperSniffer
            #AnyPortInAStorm

          2. Neilo

            @Mildred: wouldn’t dream of it, dahlink! *Totally running The Game on your virtual lovah*

          3. mildred st. meadowlark

            You’re getting dangerously close to a face full of Bailey’s and lemon, my dear.

          4. Bertie Blenkinsop

            I love ya Mildred but until Revenue gives tax breaks for internet marriage I’ll have to stick to plan A.

  7. Nigel

    I prefer boiling my porridge in 90% proof hooch ripped off the local hillbillies in lightning raids screaming obscenities, shotguns blazing and pet attack badgers ripping the trousers off ’em. Pro-tip – a pinch of cinnamon really makes the difference.

    1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

      In the Granville Hotel in Waterford they serve some local whiskey liqueur with their porridge. Also Baileys, if I remember correctly. I was too drunk to take notes, obviously.

          1. Nigel

            Every last one strung round her neck with the wings of tooth fairies who thought they they were tough enough to have a go, and the ears of a few dentists who fell for her ‘come closer I’m deaf, dear’ schtick when they tried to clean her plaque.

  8. The Old Boy

    60+ comments – all of them civil and friendly – on a booze post in under two hours of a Wednesday morning.

    Well done all. More of this, please.

  9. Papi

    Either way, I’m finished in 14 minutes til Tuesday, and I’ll raise a glass to you all! Happy Easter!!

    1. Neilo

      It’s called being able to hold your drink, you little pishant. C’mere, you’re me besht mate, you.

  10. italia'90

    Please remember to post in moderation :)
    I have never seen anybody appear drunk and sexy at the same time.
    And I’ve definitely not seen anybody drink themselves smart, successful or happy.

      1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

        Hmm. I don’t think Italia90 ever saw me on the dancefloor of RíRás after a gabháil of vodka and red bulls. Tsssssssssss!

          1. italia'90

            “tell me, schatzie, is it twue what they say about the way you people are… gifted?
            Oh, its twue. It’s twue.
            It’s twue! It’s twue!”

      1. Frilly Keane

        Whereas Brudder

        I think I’m Sexy when I’m drunk

        as well a 25 and a member of Hot Gossip

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