Balls It Up There, Colette


From top: Ryan Tubridy and the scene outside Central Hall, Westminster, London last night when hundreds of Late Late Show ticket holders were turned away

Too many Micks, innit.

Lovely jubbly.

Last night.

Westminster, London, United Kingdom.

“Audience Tickets for The Late Late Show in London were allocated and managed by UK based company Applause Store are ticket specialists for UK TV audiences.

Tickets were allocated to applicants stating that it was not a guarantee of entry but seats would be allocated on the night on a first come first served basis.

This is standard in UK TV audience management. However such was the demand for this one off show that more people were left disappointed than expected.”

RTÉ statement

“We have to oversubscribe our tickets to cover any no-shows as all of them are free of charge and sadly not everyone uses them. We have, however, experienced a higher than normal turn-up rate which has meant that regrettably we could not accommodate everyone with a seat in the venue. The demand for Late Late Show tickets is unprecedented.”

Applause Store Audience Manager, Mathew First.

Seemed to go well.

Unprecedented demand for tickets to Late Late Show leaves hundreds disappointed (Irish Examiner)


To whom it concerns.

Stephen James Smith on last night’s Late Late Show delivers his poem ‘This Is Community’ about the Irish community and their often second class status in British life.

Good times.

100 thoughts on “Balls It Up There, Colette

  1. Ollie Cromwell

    They didn’t miss much.
    Apart from a great Finbar Furry/Imelda May duet it was the usual lachrymose wander through Italia 90/Barry McGuigan Danny Boy/Mick McCarthy Saipan/ Terry Wogan rinse and repeat nonsense in front of a middle-aged/elderly audience of expats.
    The only person missing from the Usual Suspects was Daniel O’Donnell.
    My first and last viewing of a tired format.

    1. Worlds Biggest Ranter

      Bringing on Mick McCarthy and asking him about Saipan was as depressing as it comes. Pressing him on the matter despite his obvious subtle protestations not to says more about the awkward limitations of the lummox presenting the program than anything. Nauseating.

    2. dav

      no mention of Graham Norton’s accurate assessment of brexit? well, enjoy your foot olle, hope you don’t have a fungal infection. .

  2. Clampers Outside!

    So, it wasn’t RTE but Applause Show that didn’t expect / miscalculated demand for the show…. but, but, we’ve the pitchforks sharpened and are heading Donnybrook already!

    Hah! …won’t stop people screaming “death to RTE” or some such…

  3. Daisy Chainsaw

    I had to laugh at the one who flew over from Ireland with the mammy and didn’t get in. Imagine going to London just for the Late Late? Sad.

        1. giggidygoo

          One of my friends announced, some years ago mind, that he had tickets for the Late Late. Organized by a friend of his who worked in RTE, and given as a present for his wedding anniversary.

  4. ReproButina

    I didn’t watch it, obviously or I’d know the answer. Did they have losers in the audience doing the crappy greeting rhymes?

    “We’re on the Late Late Show
    And we just want to say hello!
    To Paudie and Mary Jo
    And all the family back in Mayo”

    1. Worlds Biggest Ranter

      It was like an episode of “Up for the Match” only they spoke English and most of them were dressed properly …… all by themselves.

  5. Steph Pinker

    Who’d have thought it? A bouncer on the door of the Late Late Show – they’ll have them in Mothercare next.

    1. Dub Spot

      There’s always been a bouncer on the Late Late Show door. On the inside – to stop the audience escaping.

  6. Worlds Biggest Ranter

    I really was hoping it wasn’t gonna descend in to the usual outdated, victim hood, self absorbed crap we get up to when we turn on the lamentable paddy overseas routine but inevitably it did. It rapidly slithered down a felling sorry for ourselves – both past and present – route and was occasionally spattered with an almost now comically cliched dose of “ah sure aren’t we great all the same” ism. Gas stuff. Turn up in London to pat ourselves on the back and spend half the show feeling hard done by. Cringe. It was like turning on Radio Telifis Eireann in 1984. By the way, Imelda May. Someone explain that phenomenon to me please!

      1. Kdoc

        Yeah. I’m a big fan of Imelda, but she doesn’t seem to have rehearsed / prepared for the song; it was as if it was sprung on her out of the blue. Having said that, she looked great.

    1. giggidygoo

      Why does Imelda May get so much Late Late airtime? There are other (better) artists out there that could do with the exposure.
      For instance, to name one, Emma Langford from Limerick.

      1. millie st murderlark

        Because she’s ‘real’.

        I do like Imelda but you’re right. We have loads of talented singers that would have blown her out of the water last night.

        I was lucky enough to see Saint Sister in the Olympia the other night and they were unbelievable. Absolutely mindblowing.

      2. shortforBob

        RTE has a habit of going back to the same people and getting people who already work for RTE.

        I think this is simply another example of that, and it’s cheaper than giving The Imelda May show another season.

        There’s probably some dull argument that reliable known personalities bringing in the advertising revenue, rather than RTE providing a public service by promoting new talent.

  7. Pee Pee

    The songs they played at the end, ‘Belle from Belfast City’ and some other song with lyrics like ‘you’ll be united when I get back’, or something like that. Was this a stirring of a United Ireland from RTE I wonder.

    1. giggidygoo

      Those lines sound like ones from ‘I’ll tell me Ma’ and ‘When the fields are full of Daisies I’ll return’. Glad I didn’t look at this waste of our money to listen to that paddywhackery.

  8. Lilly

    Hard to believe so many people were interested. I mentioned it months ago to a friend who lives there and she reckoned they would have to pay to get bums on seats. Instead, this.

    1. rotide

      Incredible! Imagine other people having different opinions than you and your friend! Who would have thought it was possible?

      1. Lilly

        Except it’s not just my friend and I, Rotide. It’s 95% of the population under the age of 80 with functioning brain cells, forced to pay for this fiasco. Chew on that in your canteen, why don’t you.

        1. Lilly

          Come the next GE, I’ll be asking all would-be politicians who show up on my doorstep to disband RTE.

        2. rotide

          If it was 95% of the population under the age of 80 with functioning brain cells then the show wouldn’t have the ratings it has and there wouldn’t have been such huge numbers trying to get tickets now would there?

          Engage whats left of your brain before posting

          1. Lilly

            Engage what’s left of your own, sweetie. The demand for tickets was among ex-pats in the UK. Much as you no doubt wish they did, they don’t actually pay the license-tax that buoys up RTE. That is paid by the ejits this side of the Irish Sea, 95% of whom have zero interest in the anachronistic pile of poo that is the Late Late Show.

            As for the so-called ratings, fake noos.

          2. rotide

            “The demand for tickets was among ex-pats in the UK. ”

            “she reckoned they would have to pay to get bums on seats.”

            The first statement shows how wrong the second statement was. You wrote both those statements. You and your friend are idiots. Only idiots use Fake News in this context.

    2. Topsy

      Not hard to believe at all. Obviously you have no idea what it’s like for Irish people living in England and their affinity for ‘the auld sod’

      1. Lilly

        Two of my best friends live in London, Topsy. They don’t need a weekly dose of Ryan Tubridy to maintain their connection with ‘the auld sod’.

  9. Ron

    Why is anyone surprised that this was a shambles??

    This is public sector incompetence that we see all the time. Get used to this. Stop having expectations of a job well done with anything to do with semi state sector or public sector work. This is what the Irish people choose when they go to the ballot. They choose to elect incompetent idiots who continue to bankroll RTE with an open cheque book of taxpayer money. All those people still get their over inflated salary and there is no consequences for poor performance. This is what the Irish people choose. You made your bed now lay in it and stop giving out about it when it goes wrong which it inevitably always does.

  10. Ron

    it was the greatest cringefest I have ever watched on RTE. Rolling out the washed up diaspora to tell the sad tales of how against all odds they made it in Britain. Cop yourselves on. The days of the Irish being discriminated against in Britain are long gone. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse they rolled out some lad who had memorized the world’s biggest whinge disguised as a poem about perceived discrimination of the Irish lol. He was probably paid a huge amount of taxpayer money for that whingefest.

    Tubridy was the usual boring full of himself egotistical presenter. I spent the short time trying to fathom how anyone could think he is worth almost half a million of taxpayers money.

    Is it any wonder this country is such a kip

      1. Ron

        I prefer to call them the clever Irish. They had the foresight to get the hell out of this basket case of a country. Eire: Sleaze and corruption central

  11. Vanessa off the Telly

    A Friday night !?!

    How could they think that the London Irish weren’t going to show up
    From Reading t’ Romford lads would have come straight from work

    At the Albert Hall Paddies Day thing there
    They could have filled it 5 times over
    And that was a school night

    In fact the complaints were all about there being nowhere to go for a drink afterwards

    RTÉ really have no clue about their indigenous audience
    So if they’re not capable of recognising that basic requirement, who exactly are they serving and developing programming for?
    Who’s National Broadcaster are they?

    If anyone knows that London Irish crowd they would have known a London Late Late special would have had 5000

    Having said all that
    Seeing that line up
    Maybe RTÉ did everyone a favour

  12. SOQ

    The thing about people who emigrate is they expect the place to be the same as when they left it which is fair enough as they know no better. Walking into Biddy Mulligans in Kilburn is like stepping back thirty years, even the music is poo but the worst are the Irish Americans of course. Catholic to the core and still grumbling that the gays are now allowed to walk on 17th March in NYC.

    1. Vanessa off the Telly

      But that’s the NY Hibs and the other Irish centres around the boroughs trying to tell the Boston Irish crowd that they’re more Irish than them

      It’s like Kerry v Dublin

      The Boston Irish
      If anything
      Have gotten worse
      And if anyone was there in the 80s they’ll know exactly what I mean
      It’s just all Brits Out
      Famine, Depravation, Hunger Stirke and Blessed be the Blanket Men;

      Whereas the NY crowd are cemented to their Religious codology, their behaviour is still blindly loyal to Catholic Church directions and they’re still kneeling and praying for favour.
      New York Irish are like us in 1983
      Whereas we were never like Boston, with the exception of a Celtic Rangers derby session in the Felons, and a Paddy’s Day bitta Tiocfidh

      1. SOQ

        In fairness I don’t know much about the Boston crew at all. Of course it is a case of he or she who shouts loudness when it comes to plastic paddyism.

        The same goes on up north, on both sides. You’d nearly think some of the penny whistlers are extracting the urine and I have an English friend who finds the whole bowler hat thing hilarious.

        I lived besides Co. Kilburn for years and never went near the place. Biddy Mulligans or the Galtymore in Cricklewood would have been my idea of hell on earth.

        1. Stan

          I was at a gig in the Irish Centre in Leeds last night – not Irish related, they were just using the venue – and the place is like a hotel in Carickmacross 30 years ago. Hard to imagine any of the Irish people I’ve met here going there for anything Irish related, but it seems to be busy.

          1. SOQ

            The Nuremore in Carrickmacross was a hot bed of deviant homosexual activity back then so interior design standards were obviously very high. Exactly which hotel are you referring to exactly?

    2. Johnny

      Which is why thousands flew back to vote in the recent referendum,so that things could stay the same….
      Your generalizations and assumptions are breathtakingly ignorant,cliched and completely outdated,the Irish emigrants in NY/LA are fun,modern,well educated,inclusive,witty and very global,basically the opposite of what you described,they are a credit to Ireland.

      -excluding J1 students:)

      1. gerry

        I seriously doubt thousands flew back from the US to vote. There are no statistics so its just speculation to bring it up as proof of anything.

          1. Vanessa off the Telly

            Just to clear up something

            The NY Irish I was being specific about are largely 2nd Generation and beyond
            Likewise with the Boston Irish
            However in Boston, recent arrivals tend to get absorbed very quickly and easily into their Irish Scene
            Whereas recent, and by that I mean anyone in the last 20 years or so, who arrived in JFK, tend to stay clear of the Holy Orders of the New York Hibernian Irish

            The GAA has a lot to do with that tbh

            Shameless Plug coming up
            Fenway Park Super 11s in November Ahem ahem hint hint anyone from a transatlantic carrier hotel group
            No subtlety here when it comes to Hurling

            Since it’s the community I’m from; Dagenham Romford (La Salette) branch of the London Irish btw
            That scene was and is
            Still very much about being with
            And looking after our own
            And standing up for ourselves
            In a Joxer Stuttgart Ireland v England
            We’re not the ones with the Inferiority Complex kinda way
            Or as my late Uncle Bernie (who was a professional soccer player there) used ta say
            Always let them talk themselves up ’cause they don’t know what to do with themselves t’take it back
            Terry Wogan was great at that – when a bit of comeuppance was called for
            My favourite, and it’s one I’ve hacked for myself every so often was from one of his Eurovisions and he was trying to laugh off their own Nil Point and the Irish winning again (probably-can’t remember exactly)
            Ah shur the Irish didn’t invade anyone

            It’s 10 or more years since I’ve been to the Felons or anywhere near the Gorbels, so I don’t know what the scene is like sinces – Shayna is your girl for that update

            The #HomeToVote was a worldwide campaign with a worldwide reach and response
            However it was principally based in the University SU networks, and 90% maybe more, of that response came from the UK; and largely thanks to the lobbying of @OxfordDiplomat Dr Jennifer Cassidy and others to have Student Union bodies support the cost of returning Irish Students to vote in the 36th amendment, that it became a trending event

            But feel free to call me ignorant
            I’ve been called worse around here

  13. Lilly

    Let’s compile our dream London Late Late lineup. Who would entice you to go along? I’ll start the ball rolling with Martin McDonagh.

      1. Otis Blue

        Stephen Patrick Morrissey
        Simon Geoghegan
        John Lydon
        Harry Kane
        Kathy Burke
        Declan Rice
        Kate Bush
        Steve Coogan

        1. The Real Shrimply Pibbles

          All great interviewees that tubs would inevitably make a mess of. He’s useless. As are RTE. I don’t think I’d even bother to tune in to watch the potential car crash.

      2. Dub Spot

        Tough on just London, needs to be wider:

        Morrissey (Manchester)
        Boy George (Kent)
        Kevin Rowland (Wolverhampton)
        2 X Gallagher Brothers (OK, not London, but they’re all Southern pansies anyway)
        Graham Linehan (ex-Pat)
        Mary Kenny (ex-Pat
        Philip Treacy (ex-Pat)
        Edna O’Brien (ex-Pat, but could actually be Tony Blair in drag anyway)

      1. gerry

        Don’t really see the relevance of Anjelica Houston in this context. She’s neither British nor Irish. Spent some of her childhood in England decades ago but don’t see why she’d be a good candidate for a show about Irish connections to Britain.

        1. Bertie Blenkinsop

          …”Her father was also an Irish citizen. She spent much of her childhood in Ireland which she still considers home, particularly near Craughwell, County Galway, and attended school at Kylemore Abbey.”

    1. SOQ

      Let’s start with a half decent sounded / media venue of which there are many. Turbidity’s background is a London taxi ticking while he interviews so no surprise that RTE waved the high hand at young Irish people doing things in London.

      RTE late late researchers really doing their jobs do not exist.

      Prove me wrong?

  14. Nelly Not On You

    Ryan Tubridy is not a good at being a human being. He is unlikeable. He appears so uncomfortable and scared of saying the wrong thing it oozes out of the tv. Anxiety poured into a suit and so transparent when he doesn’t know or care about a subject it’s off putting.

    He makes me stressed. You should like the host of a show. That’s a great start.

  15. Dub Spot

    Schoolboy error: RTE outsourced the audience engagement to the Brits. Nothing learned from the great job done on Brexit.

    I suspect the Brits immediately did the rounds of County Kilburn pubs for their stereotypical Oirish Paddy cohort, whereas RTE actually wanted the #hometovote #tech #financial #millennial brigade. Still, with Brexit, they’ll ALL be #hometowork soon!

    Good Job RTE! Case proven.

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