Free Johnnies

at

And ‘coils’ for the ladies.

FIGHT!

Sponsored Link

Related posts:

Two Pricks, All Fixed Be Chaste And Jubilant Find Your Rhythm Bareback Figures Mounting

35 thoughts on “Free Johnnies”

  1. Slightly Bemused

    How far have we come in such a short time. I recall a schoolmate being suspended for blowing up johnnies like balloons in school, Virgin Mega Store hitting the headlines for all the wrong reasons for selling Jiffys, and my brother being full of dudgeon over Customs seizing his shipment from Amsterdam.

    Now they are practically giving them out for free!

    1. Spaghetti Hoop

      Ah the memories of sidling by the johnnies several times in Virgin on Aston Quay in disbelief, bemusement and incurable giggles.

      1. Slightly Bemused

        Reminds me of the old joke around those times

        Cashier: Can I help you?
        Punter (nervously): I’d like a pack of Jiffys please.
        Cashier: No problem. Anything else?
        Punter (even more nervously): Ehm… Can I have another pack of Jiffys?
        Cashier: No problem. Will that be all?
        Punter (defeated): Yes, thanks [pays and leaves]

        Outside, the punter is quickly surrounded by his mates: Well, did you do it?
        Punter (sadly): No. I was too embarrassed to ask for a Daniel O’Donnell record….

        I’ll get me coat…

  3. millie st murderlark

    Great idea. I love having the coil. I don’t miss those cripplingly painful periods at all.

  4. Dr.Fart MD

    i knew BS wouldn’t have the nuts to publish my tongue-in-cheek comment. thought police.

    1. Bodger

      As it involved raping your patients while they were under general anesthesia we thought it best.

          1. millie st murderlark

            Quite

            Thought I was going to have to get all Helen Lovejoy on this place for a minute.

      3. Dr.Fart MD

        hugely taken out of context. this is PC gone mad! publish it and let people decide if theyre too delicate for what was nothing more than a ‘carry on film’ style joke.

          2. Bodger

            Well, here it is:

            ‘no use to me. i never “do it” anymore. the most action i get is with unconcious patients, and I’ve had to curtail that a bit ever since one uppity young madam because suspicious when she woke up with her knickers on backwards.’

            Don’t blame us if you get struck off.

          3. Slightly Bemused

            I reckon one day one of his patients will go all Kill Bill on his botty and that will be that!

          8. millie st murderlark

            I’m sure the ladies you say that to I person just love hearing that.

          11. V

            That’s vile

            And way beyond even the sneery smart alec stuff
            Anyone with decency does their best to tolerate in an open forum
            No matter what part of the internet you inhabit
            You’ve no excuse

            You’re clearly not used to being with decent people

            Using rape to make a joke
            Well the next time anyone cribs about moderation on Broadsheet
            Remember this post and why it was deleted

          12. Dr.Fart MD

            this is a great example of internet vs. real life. If we were standing in a circle in a pub and i said this you’d all be laughin. people are infinitely more offended, and more aggressive in the anonymity of chat forums.

          13. millie st murderlark

            No. If anyone made that joke, regardless of setting, it’d still be creepy as hell.

            You know why?
            Because it bloody well is creepy.

          14. Spaghetti Hoop

            Other way round Fart. If you said that in a pub, there would no longer be a circle. When you say it online, everyone makes a circle to call you a schmuck!

          16. Dr.Fart MD

            allow me to offer you all a free consultancy with myself, and see how you feel about me after. I think a lot of you will be quite endeared.

  6. for whom, the bell trolls?

    At first I felt sure this exquisite play on words was a precursor to yet another stellar Johnny Green column. Maybe even a celebrity appearance by said Johnny in Grafton Street to distribute blunts as gratuities.
    Or modest honoraria.

    How disappointing

    1. Johnny Green

      Hi ‘for whom’ I’m on way DC to hand out some big brown envelopes,’fat jerry’ as POTUS calls him is having a hearing tomorrow-column in and should be up at 4.20.
      According “Leafy” Dublin is one the most expensive cities in world per gram, its almost double what you pay in US-so grow your own but agreed few free samples next time I’m back for the ‘sheet team.Your more likely find me on Sherrard Street though than Grafton:)

      https://judiciary.house.gov/legislation/hearings/marijuana-laws-america-racial-justice-and-need-reform

      1. for whom, the bell trolls?

        Thank you Johnny
        Look forward to sharing a blunt with you some day

Comments are closed.

Broadsheet.ie