A note from a very weary editor, to all male writers:
Women’s breasts are not communication devices. They are not sending you, or your male protagonists, encoded messages. They are, in fact, insentient. They neither dance nor issue invitations.
— Katherine May (@_katherine_may_) September 6, 2019
In the vast majority of scenarios, they don’t merit a mention at all.
You know how it’s rude to stare at boobs in real life? It’s a similar breach of etiquette to mention them repeatedly in your prose, while their owner is just going about her daily business.
— Katherine May (@_katherine_may_) September 6, 2019
In addition, they are rarely arranged for your personal approval.
I know, it’s hard to believe, isn’t it?
Most of the time they’re just sitting there, just as your own moobs are just sitting there, quite innocently, not carrying any meaning whatsoever.
— Katherine May (@_katherine_may_) September 6, 2019
That’ll learn you.
Boobies
Meanwhile…
@IrishTimes @TheRDS are you really endorsing this crap?? Women are made to feel bad enough about how they look without this type of "show" made especially for them. But hey, it's free access to the Wedding Show too… @broadsheet_ie pic.twitter.com/tvUf8wI36K
— Claire B (@clrbrd) September 6, 2019
Imagine being as utterly devoid of joy as Katherine. Poor soul.
I think Katherine has missed the whole point of being alive..
Well that’s the essence of it really. Mammaries have two principle functions: milk provision and sex. A woman can choose neither functionality for her breasts, but they do keep the human race going in some shape or form.
And shape and form is all that really matters
Sex doesn’t sell thankfully
That’s just, like, your opinion Katherine.
*gives moobs a playful jiggle*
you don’t know what you’re missing, katherine
mickeys, on the other hand…
Sounds like some male writers are being inspired by The Sure Thing in their prose.
Relevant link (Slightly NSFW): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t6EtRJ3zV4 The film had a 15 rating, so it is not too bad (indeed no worse than Orbs of Goodness) but definitely not for when sitting at your desk in open plan
Memo to Catherine; we’ll be the judge of that, not you.
“In addition, they are rarely arranged for your personal approval.”
I take it Katherine has never been to a nightclub in the midlands.
In fairness, they don’t just focus on boobs. Just ask Eve Buckland at the Daily Mail. “Eve” is a girl’s name, right?
“The high-cut swimsuit also drew the eye to her toned legs and teased a glimpse of her pert derriere. ”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7435583/Kelly-Brook-displays-showstopping-curves-plunging-floral-swimsuit-Turkey.html
yay
mmmooooorre
Who cares about boobs when you can enjoy an arse full of farts like dear old Jimmy Joyce.
My moobs are NOT meaningless.
I’m into feet.
12”?
https://twitter.com/men_write_women for all your stupid descriptors of women’s breasts
“Tiny purse tucked into her vagina, just big enough to hold her driver’s licence, a credit card and a few bucks” sounds eminently convenient though if you could manage it
Tricky. Very tricky.
Well
Mine really are Magnificent
Seriously
They are the only things I have that haven’t gone totally to __i_
And I prefer if lads look at them than at the worst legs in Ireland
Seriously
This moan
And whatever the Council for the Status of Women are called now having a go at lacy (hup’ up good thing) balcony bras
Jesus
Do they want me to wear a vest?
this comment left me thinking BOTT never really reached its potential
+1 needs more Silvio Berlusconi
Fair play to you Vanessa!
This post needs more Taschen.
Janet Ellis (The Butcher’s Hook) refers to a man’s erection as an “audacious swell,” and when a woman orgasms, Ellis writes, “I spill like grain from a bucket.”
More fun can be found on Bad Sex in Fiction Awards… most winners are men :)
Worth a Google for the giggle :0)
If you want a hilarious – and occasionally poignant – read about the intricacies of womens’ bodies, pick up a copy of Adam Kay’s, This Is Going To Hurt (Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor) – you’ll be in stitches!
I don’t get this. What am I missing?
My Magnificent Orbs of Goodness
By the sounds of it
Made round to go around, right?!
Release the puppies…
I’m more of a kraken man meself
calm your head lamps luv