You Want It Darker



We’ll say ‘when’.

Keep going…



Maybe a pinch more…

AND we’re good.

Nicole Osborne writes:

This winter, the Master Chocolatiers at Lindt have created a new milk chocolate experience.

Combining the creaminess of milk chocolate with the benefits of high cocoa content with the Excellence High % Cocoa Milk Chocolate collection.

And we know how much you like chocolate.

So we have ONE lovely hamper of the new range along with an assortment of Lindt goodied to give away to a Broadsheet reader….

Very decent of you.

To enter, just complete this sentence:

‘I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to________________________’

Lines MUST close at 6.45pm.

Lindt Ireland

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50 thoughts on “You Want It Darker

  1. reidman

    ‘I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to the trauma inflicted on me by Mr Wonka jamming me up that chocolate pipe of his.
    Augustus Gloop

    1. martco

      that’s pure blx @Amy

      what evidence have you that Lindt are involved directly or indirectly in child exploitation?

      HINT: I know a lot about chocolate & it’s production so get your facts ready before replying, ok

        1. martco

          well if you looked into the issue a little further you’d know Lindt are actually one of the good guys in the business of producing chocolate (unlike many others like Nestle etc.)

          that article you quoted is unfair & misrepresentative

          there’s a very good reason why they don’t do the Fair Trade, Rainforest Alliance or UTZ certified labelling thing….they run their OWN programme.

          have a read here. it explains the larger picture a bit more where Lindt are concerned:

          I’ve got previous in this area & can verify their endeavours

          1. Amy.

            Yes, the reason that they run their own program, rather than being audited by outside experts on child labor, is because they’re so concerned about child labor. You’re either extremely naive or you’re making income from selling Lindt products.

          2. :-Joe

            Who are the best or worst if you’re not clued in and looking to avoid the traps and pitfalls of supporting dodgy business.


          3. Amy

            Tony Chocolonely are relatively good, far better than Lindt, Nestle or Mars. But, ideally, don’t eat chocolate until the industry stops using child labor.

          4. martco

            ok guys, you suit yourselves on what to believe, I’m not here to convince of anything all I can tell ye is what I know with 110% confidence from years of personal involvement in the exotic ingredient trade.

            your comment on Lindt is unfair, undeserved & until you bring me by the hand to Côte d’Ivoire & show me some examples of your child exploit accusations perpetrated by Lindt I’ll declare it as pure blx all day long. Because it is.

            sure what would I know, lol. I’m certain the internet and a pile of whataboutery about child “labor” knows a helluva more than I on the subject.



          5. Amy

            So, Marto, you’re saying that Oxfam, the International Labour Organization, Anti-Slavery International are all wrong, but you, a trader in the ‘exotic ingredient market’, are right. I know who’d I’d trust.

        2. :-Joe

          Is Tony Chocolonely available in retail shops in Ireland or only online?
          Any other common brands you would recommend?
          – Thanks


          1. Cú Chulainn

            Lindt is a truly terrible chocolate. Vile sugary mess. It’s little better than Cadbury, which is a trace of cocoa mixed with palm oil and sugar. Get the good stuff.

  2. Horatio Valentine III

    I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to my severe chocolate deficiency which peaks around Christmastime

  3. Slightly Bemused

    I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to the fact that I have a lovely daughter who adores chocolate. But she lives in the US, and does not understand what real chocolate is, except for the times I bring her over some from here, tempting fate at the border by telling US customs that I have no foodstuffs, or dairy, in my luggage. I am not a great chocolate lover, and have promised her that she can have my share as long as I am alive, and I will risk the wrath of the US FDA to bring her my share, which is of real chocolate, not some slightly cocoa flavoured candy cr@p! She would adore this selection, as the last time I brought over Lindt she was in heaven. I would like to send her there again!

    And in the wise words of Terry Pratchett: A chocolate you did not want to eat does not count as chocolate. This discovery is from the same branch of culinary physics that determined that food eaten while walking along contains no calories.

  4. Birdie

    ‘I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to being very pregnant. I am suffering from Lindtaniltius. Basically, I’ve become a chocolate savage and if I don’t eat chocolate… well let’s just say everybody in my life is very unhappy when that happens.’

  5. papa p

    I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to my sister not giving me back the hamper I Lindt her last year.

  6. Termagant

    I deserve to get the Lindt chocolate hamper instead of Birdie because Birdie at some point in the future is going to have a lovely new baby, I meanwhile am not going to have any babies any time soon and will graciously accept the hamper as compensation

  7. Bertie Theodore Alphege Blenkinsop

    I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to my Ma being 70 on Saturday and she doesn’t really celebrate her birthdays ever since John Lennon got shot on the same day.

    1. Paulus

      I’m not crazy about marrowfats;
      but I was encouraged to give peas a chance.

      I’ll get my apron.

  8. Liam Deliverance

    I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to the fact that I refuse to eat the Dis-Quality Street and Roses muck that the rest of the family will be scoffin’ on Christmas Day. Instead I will have the Lindt stash concealed about my person and will pretend to eat the other “chocolate” so as not to give myself away and be forced to share! Also I will be starting a new New Year fitness training regime on the 1st, sorry 2nd of January, where I will shake 2 big heavy ropes around the place and do stuff with a large gym ball, and eat a lot of dust, I think, yes.

  9. john white

    I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to the fact … “what better way to start the silly season then a little gift to oneself “

  10. :-Joe

    ‘I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to the fact that I don’t really deserve it at all over anyone else… However, I intend to give it to my lover who loves a lot of things and genuinely really loves Lindt Chocolate in particular.. (Me too but I prefer the Dark stuff)..

    It’s been a long time waiting, sleepless nights, anxiousness and frustration up until this day. The problem of having only ever liked and been able to enjoy milk chocolate and the even bigger problem of having been waiting so long for a proper 65% or above quality level of cocao milk chocolate bar from Lindt has now been resolved.

    I’ll buy it anyway but freebies always taste better and who doesn’t love a good hamper!!”


  11. martco

    I deserve the Lindt for defending its reputation from well meaning virtuous internet lovin’ gobsheens who like to tell the world & everyone who will listen a pile of unsubstantiated whataboutery nonsense they read one day online & that they should only ever buy a different brand of dutch chocolate recently introduced into the Irish market they recommend for whatever reason they say

    1. Amy

      It’s not whataboutery. It’s documented. By Oxfam. By Anti-Slavery International. By the International Labor Organization. I wish that Lindt didn’t use chocolate that was harvested using child slave labour, but it does. The facts are there. I don’t understand your denying them (unless you work for Lindt or derive profit from their product (which you appear to do)).

      1. martco

        Amy, here you go again, you persist in typing out generalised accusatory sentences about the chocolate industry.

        You imply Lindt are involved in child exploitation activities. I’m asking you to publish any facts you have that implicate &
        prove Lindt are involved in such activity

        It’s a pretty simple request, no?

        Publish the evidence that proves Lindt are directly involved in child exploitation within their supply chain please.

          1. martco

            (ohno please don’t bring me here)

            ok I read both your links, neither of them have any specific evidence. you are pedaling unsubstantiated nonsense.

            I asked for EVIDENCE to support your accusation that Lindt are involved in child exploitation. you seriously consider some vague scorecard as documentary evidence? Would you bring your family fortunes survey scoreboard there to court and expect a judge to accept what you have linked there as evidence in support of your accusation? Help me out here, please if you can, how did these scorecards get calculated? What were their essential basis, observed & documented evidence, specific incidents recorded? I can’t see any, what am I missing? Or are you telling me that’s what you call evidence that Lindt are engaged in child exploitation??

            I mean…one of them states:
            The information on this page is based off publicly available information found on company websites and/or in sustainability reports. Some information that has been disclosed to us in private may be incorporated into the final grade as well

            eh, hello?!?! read that bit again. think about it. do you still feel your evidence is strong?

            ps. I not employed by Lindt. or Callebaut. or any of the major producers directly. I already told you earlier why I’m qualified to call you out on your unsubstantiated bs smear…by virtue of actual work done in that industry at an ingredient supply level (which I’m 100% certain you are not involved in nor ever have been, lol)
            but here we’re just typing stuff on a website and on that basis alone what you have stated is unacceptable nonsense.

            oh by the way, labour is spelt with a U same as colour. this is Ireland, not America youtube land.


  12. Fearganainm

    ‘I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to the trauma Lindt inflicted on several of those in my care when it made its ‘Hello, My name is Strawberry Cheesecake’ product impossible to source in local outlets’

    That’s a lot of tears to make up for!

  13. pooter

    ‘I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to my mother-in-law is aged 99½ and I would give her a bunch of this chocolate to give her the energy to hit the ton

  14. Ringsend Incinerator

    ‘I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to my having nothing to declare but good taste’

  15. dhod

    I deserve a Lindt hamper owing to my type 1 diabetes which I have 20 years in January. it’s not easy around Xmas time but when I have a low blood sugar I want to bring it back to normal range in style and luxury – not with some chalky glucose tablets

  16. DOC

    I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time of owing to the Oompah-Loompahs grassing me up. Ii was fired on the spot without pay and i believe this would be adequate compensation
    Mr. Slugworth

  17. Slightly Bemused

    George deserves the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to his standing up for the rights of those dis-proportionally affected by the loss of the Countess Markievicz Pool and Apartments, against stubborn opposition by those who fail to see this as an injustice.

    More wise words from Terry Pratchett: Everyone has a conditional clause in their life, some little unspoken addition to the rules like, “Except when I really need to,” or “Unless no one is looking,” or, indeed, “Unless the first one was nougat.”

  18. Verbatim

    I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time as Amy and Martco are blowing up a storm (a sign of things to come) and all I want to do for Christmas 2019 is munch on huge percentages of more cocoa – please

  19. Lilly

    I deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to the theft of my Lindt advent calendar from my desk today. I am inconsolable but this would restore a note of sweetness to my day.

  20. Tea And Brexits

    I don’t deserve the Lindt hamper especially at this time owing to the fact there are others who might appreciate it more. Given that, please send a couple of hampers around to Fr Peter McVerry on my behalf.

Comments are closed.

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