The Columbus Dispatch


Galway’s Christopher Columbus monument in Spanish Arch was recently vandalised (top). Gifted by the Italian city of Genoa, People Before Profit said it ‘glorified slavery and racism’ and have demanded its removal

How to Get Rid of Christopher Columbus

Don’t get photographed presenting your
two thousand names to the Mayor,
looking as if you’re graduating
with a qualification you’ll never use.
Don’t ask the Church of Ireland or National Council
for the Advancement of Concerned People
to intervene.

Do it yourself.
But not explosives, no.
There’s always a mostly innocent
retired car park attendant with a limp
(or some such) passing at the exact moment.
He retired five years ago
but because of the limp
was still on his way home.
And now he’s in small pieces
or, even worse,
one piece;
and you’re the reason
he has that stutter
when the journalist talks to him
on the every o’clock news.

Nothing like a spot of terrorism
gone amiss
to make all that racism, pillage, and slicing
off most of a native’s thigh
just to test your blades
or a child’s hand
because their parents wouldn’t cooperate
with what was
an honest attempt to improve them
seem civilised in comparison.

Arm yourself with
no mere plinkety chisel
but mallet, kango hammer,
a couple of the like-minded,
and high vis jackets marked
‘City Council’ or ‘Irish Water’
and present the slow citizenry
with the fact
of his stone tribute
in the sea

Kevin Higgins

Previously: Glorifying Slavery And Racism

Pic 2: Kevin Higgins

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25 thoughts on “The Columbus Dispatch

    1. Commenter #1

      Really, very cool. So, hypothetically, how would such a cull be organised? Would you have a shared Google Doc where people suspected of being SJWs would be listed, and then you could strikethrough their names as they were culled? That might be one way.

      If it’s going to “eat itself” though, I wonder is a cull necessary. Different strokes for different folks (who want to cull social justice warriors) I suppose!

      Anyway, really cool idea and great to see it get so much support. The culling, I mean. Great to see.

      1. scottser

        why don’t we make SJWs wear a symbol of kind, and burn all their books. and to differentiate us from them, we can all wear the same coloured shirts? i’ve got a cool new walk we can all try out too.

        1. Commenter #1

          Now now, don’t be facetious. We’re just talking about culling social justice warriors here, and about how cool and good that would be. “Cool walks” indeed. That has the potential to distract from the main objective i.e. the culling.

      2. Scundered

        I think we should round them up by starting a rumour that Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson will be conducting a live discussion about the myth of white privilege and the patriarchy, at the 3 Arena, then we usher them all in, close the doors and gas the lot of them. Or else a checklist consisting of:

        Can you answer yes to all of these:

        Do you suffer from narcissism?
        Do you feel the need to virtue signal to feel better about your life?
        Do you believe in group identity before freedom of the individual?
        Do you believe in the gender pay gap?
        Do you read the Guardian and believe it’s content?
        Do you feel like a victim today, despite the fact that your great grandparents might well not have been able to afford a pair of shoes?

        If you answered yes to all of the above, in the door you go. NEXT!

          1. Commenter #1

            The cull of the people who answer YES to those questions? A good and cool idea! And funny, too!

  1. SOQ

    On a somewhat related note- McDonalds are now supporting the Black Trans Lives Matter campaign.

    I assume that means they are going to refuse to sell their high calorie processed muck to all black trans people?

  2. gallantman

    Its known that Oscar Wilde consorted with underage male prostitutes. Lets get down to Merrion Square with the Jack-hammer!!!!!

    1. GiggidyGoo

      And the Blessed Virgin getting pregnant without being impregnated. Field day on statues around the country.

  3. NobleLocks

    So sick of SJW’s. Self-righteous, loathsome, pearl-clutching, curtain twitching wannabe’s. Shame…. shame.

  4. Rob_G

    I can’t believe that no-one has referred to the truly excellent headline yet – kudos, Bodge.

Comments are closed.

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