Win Nick’s Voucher [Extended]


Thank Frodo It’s Friday.

What better way to spend the Hallowe’en weekend than with another Broadsheet music competition?

This week, as suggested by reader Morgen Scheißekopf, the theme is misheard lyrics. Are there any song lyrics which you heard wrong and what was your garbled version?

I spent the guts of 40 years mistaking a line from The Stranglers hit Golden Brown.

They wrote: “Golden brown texture like sun/ Lays me down with my mind she runs.”

I heard “Lays me down with my mansheerons.”

I have no idea what a mansheeron is. I just presumed they did!

To be in with a chance of winning a spooky €25 Golden Discs voucher, simply reply below with your mistaken lyrics.

The winner will be chosen by my domesticated vampire.

Lines close at 5.45pm EXTENDED until Saturday 11am.

Nick says: Good luck!

Golden Discs

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114 thoughts on “Win Nick’s Voucher [Extended]

  1. Steve


    Bon Jovi Livin’ On a Prayer

    My mates older brother went around for years singing this.

  2. Stephen Devine

    Marc Cohen – Walking In Memphis

    Walking in Memphis
    (Walking in Memphis)
    Was walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale

    Up until recently I thought he was singing:

    Walking in Memphis
    (Walking in Memphis)
    Was walking with my feet ten feet off of a be you.

  3. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Song 2 – Blur
    I got my head checked, By a jumbo jet
    It wasn’t easy, But nothing is, No

    I heard
    I got my head shaved, By a jumojay

    In my mind a jumojay is some kind of exotic barber.

  4. Laura

    We didn’t start the fire – children of thalidomide – I heard children of the little mile. Also Bernie Goetz – burning ghets. I found this out 2 days ago!

          1. Papi

            Sperm of the moment is my favourite, cos it’s better than spur of the moment, and she explained that sometimes it happens when you think of it. Like, hey, I had an idea that gave birth. Logic.

          2. Janet, dreams of warm feet

            himself messes up his English the odd time, declaring all the towels in the hotpress were crusty today ( he meant cozy )

    1. Bodger

      Hehehehehe. ‘sheet staff can’t enter but I was telling Nick I once belted out during class break “Shoot the boys on our road. Woo, hoo. hoo‘ (to much scoffing) believing they were the lyric to ABC’s recently released ‘Shoot That Poison Arrow’.

  5. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Faith- George Michael
    Cause I gotta have faith
    I gotta’ have faith
    Because I gotta have faith, faith, faith
    I got to have faith, faith, faith

    I heard
    Cause I gotta have fanta
    I gotta’ have fanta
    Because I gotta have fanta, fanta, fanta
    I got to have fanta, fanta, fanta

  6. Paulus

    In the 70’s/80s I was a big Kristofferson fan:
    I knew many of his songs, and sang a few.
    It’s hard to imagine now, but if a lyric-sheet wasn’t included with an album, it was VERY difficult to confirm any misheard/muddled/mumbled lyrics.

    Broken Freedom Song includes the lines:
    “Got a song about a soldier, riding somewhere on a train.
    Empty sleep into his shoulder, and some pills to ease the pain”

    Slightly strange second line there I thought, but assumed it referred to a soldier slumped in his seat with his head down on his shoulder…and I sang it that way for years.

    UNTIL I discovered that the correct second line here is;
    “Empty sleeve pinned to his shoulder….”

    …which makes more sense!

  7. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Bonnie Tyler – Total eclipse of the heart
    I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
    We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

    I heard
    We’re living in Apowequay and giving offs parks

    Apowerquay being a village in Wales and offs parks being some sort of alms

  8. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Marc Almond & Gene Pitney – Something`s Gotten Hold Of My Heart
    I gotta tell you now
    Something’s gotten hold of my hand
    Dragging my soul to a beautiful land

    I heard
    I gotta tell you now
    Something’s gotten hold of my hand
    Dragging masshole to a beautiful land

    Masshole being a slang word other New Englanders have for Massachusetts residents

  9. Micko

    Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix

    “Excuse me while I kiss this guy”

    Jesus – Jimi was very progressive I used to think. ;-)

    Don’t even start on ‘All along the watchtower’ – there’s tons in there

  10. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Elton John – I’m Still Stanley

    In my mind Still Stanley is one of those street mime guys who pretends to be a statue then scares the bejabbers out of you.

  11. Gerrup

    The Doors Break On Through (To The Other Side)
    Actual Lyrics
    You know the day destroys the night
    Night divides the day

    What I sang (loudly) for the guts of 30 years:
    We’re going to drive that car tonight
    90 miles a day

    As the other half pointed out, 90 miles isn’t even that much really.

  12. Daisy Chainsaw

    Take on Me – Aha

    So needless to say
    I’ve odds and ends
    But I feel you’ve thrown them away

    Shoud be
    So needless to say
    I’m odds and ends
    But I’ll be stumbling away

  13. Brother Barnabas

    mine goes back a bit – while the rest of Sister Teresa’s Senior Infants were singing “he’s got the whole world in his hands”

    I heard – and sang with gusto – “he’s got the whole world in his pants”

    even a slap across the ear from the head nun (“forever the smart alec, aren’t we?”) didn’t clarify; it was years later that i uncovered my (genuine) error

  14. eamonn

    We are all just prisoners here of our own device
    Eamonn hears…
    we are all just pensioners here on our motorbikes
    welcome to the hotel
    happy friday

  15. alickdouglas

    Alanis Morissette

    …It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay
    It’s a death row hard on two minutes too late…

    I have a friend who was genuinely incredibly surprised that this was incorrect, and an unending, drunken conversation about ‘which one woulda been more ironic’ followed.


  16. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Michael Jackson – Smooth criminal
    Annie, are you okay?
    I heard
    Annie are you wonkey?

  17. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    I have a friend who sings along to The Killer’s All These Things
    “I’ve got a soul but I’m not a assh*le”

    Sadly, he is.

  18. theo kretschmar schuldorff

    When I was a kid, I developed the theory that CJH doctored the national anthem to make mention of his party.

  19. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    The Police – So Lonely
    I heard
    Sue Lawley
    She was a TV presenter in the ’70’s & ’80’s

  20. Paul

    On 5 April 1982, the British government dispatched a naval task force to engage the Argentine Navy and start the Falklands war. A few months later on first hearing The Clash’s then latest release “Rock The Kasbah” on the radio, I was convinced they were screaming “Fuck The Task Force”.

  21. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    The Moody Blues – Nights in White Sat In
    I never knew what they sat in but it probably stained.

  22. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Born In The U.S.A. – Bruce Springsteen
    Born down in a dead man’s town
    The first kick I took was when I hit the ground

    I heard
    The first keg I took was when I hit the ground

    I had him pegged as the sort of guy who’d steal barrels of Smithwicks from outside country pubs.

  23. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive
    Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother
    You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive

    I heard
    or whether you’re a mugger
    The rest of the song was all unintelligible, high pitched wailing

  24. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    OutKast, ‘Hey Ya!’
    Shake it like a Polaroid picture

    I heard
    Shake it like a corduroy pizza

  25. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    The Clash – I fought the Law

    I heard

    I fought Delors*

    * Jacques Delors, French politician

  26. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Bruce Springsteen – Open All Night
    It’s an all night run to get back to where my baby lives
    In the wee wee hours your mind gets hazy radio relay towers, won’t you lead me to my baby?

    I hear
    weewee hours
    and think bedwetter!

  27. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Prince – ‘Little Red Courgette’

    Don’t eat it Prince, it’s not ripe, it’ll give you Purple Rain

  28. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    E.L.O. – Roll Over Beethoven
    Well, gonna write a little letter
    Gonna mail it to my local DJ

    I heard
    Well I’m gonna ride a little lady
    Gonna male her to my local DJ

    Jimmy Savile?

  29. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    The Sex Pistols – ‘A knacky in the U.K.’
    Were they knocking on doors then running away?

  30. scottser

    UB40’s ‘food for thought’;
    Ivory Madonna dying in the dust,
    Waiting for the manna coming from the west

    Heard as
    I’m a prima donna lying in the dust,
    waiting for my mother coming in her dress
    Mondegreens, eh?

  31. Clampers Outside

    Queen Bohemian Rhaposdy…

    “Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango”

    became (among other interpretations)

    “Scar a moose, will you do the fan tango”

  32. Harry

    Has to be the redoubtable Freddie and Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody
    The lyric of
    “Spare him his life from this monstrosity”
    Sounds like (and is easier to sing when drunk) :)
    “Saving his life from the warm sausage tea”

    Happy Halloween folks

  33. Rober

    As a kid I was shocked they allowed a song on the radio like ‘I’m your penis, I’m your fire, at your desire’.

  34. GiggidyGoo

    Stuck in my brain. Jimmy McCarthy’s Neidín.
    ‘won’t chew me member, won’t chew me member…’

  35. GiggidyGoo

    Was in a pub a while ago in Kilmore Auay ….maybe 20 years or more……and there were two fellows and a girl playing. I think is was called the Wooden House.
    Anyway, my favorite song at the time was ‘fFrom a Distance’ – Nancy Griffith and was being sung by the girl. Both there was no sign of her. Next thing, she came in the front door. She’d been singing it from across the road – they’d put the mike out to her through the window.
    Some laugh.
    Pity it doesn’t count for this competition.

  36. Axelf

    Macy grey: I try

    always heard “I wear goggles when you are not here

    Apparently the line is “my world crumbles when you are not near”

  37. GiggidyGoo

    Bought my daughter a thing called ‘Baby Alive’ for Christmas a while ago. I used to sing to her ‘You can tell by the way I’m suckin’ my bottle, I’m a Baby Alive, Baby Alive….ah ah ah ah Baby Alive, Baby Aliiiiive’. She heard the Bee Gees song when she was 14 and gave me a sh’t because she thought my version was the correct one. H haaaaa.

    1. Andy Pipkin

      Giddy, from the first time I heard this to this present day, I could swear they’re singing “ Well you can tell by the way I use my Wok I’m a woman’s man”

      Once heard you’ll always think it’s correct.


  38. Paulus

    In some rather genteel company, a mate once sang:

    A penis, a penis
    The greatest gift that I possess.
    I thank the lord that I’ve been blessed,
    with more than my share of a penis.

    Go on, try it out….!

  39. Tatty

    Strangelove – for years I thought Depeche Mode were singing,
    “I give in to sin / Because you have to make this like Liverpool”

  40. Ouch

    Remember Zig and Zag used to sing songs with misheard words…Adam Ants ‘ Stand in The Liver’ and ‘ The Jam ‘Eating Trifles’

  41. Muchacho Gordo-Delgado

    Copperhead Road – Steve Earle
    Well my name’s John Lee Pettimore
    Same as my daddy and his daddy before

    I heard
    Well my mate John needs pedicure
    Same as my daddy and his daddy before

  42. millie

    To my eternal shame, up until very recently I thought the words to Zombie by the Cranberries were:

    What’s in your head
    In your heeeeaaaaaad
    Stop it, stop it, stop i-it i-it i-it

    and then had no idea why the song was actually called ‘Zombie’ at all. Still haven’t lived it down.

  43. WittyName

    My love has got no money, he’s got his Trombaleece.

    Crappy song but whenever it came on I always wondered what the hell was a tromboleece (strong beliefs) Freed from desire, Gala.

    1. Crusty O Beatnik

      Ha ha…agree on the poor quality so never looked it up but my version used to be ‘my lovers got no army he’s got his stronger briefs…..’
      Jesus knows why a NGO official needs heavy duty underpants…..

    2. Crusty O Beatnik

      Ha ha…agree on the poor quality so never looked it up but my version used to be ‘my lovers got no army he’s got his stronger briefs…..’
      Jesus knows why a NGO official needs heavy duty underpants…..

  44. Gorugeen

    Lad I worked with (RIP Dave) ruined the Eagles Desperado for me. For desperado he sang desperate bastad.

  45. Gay Fawkes

    When I was in an all-boys secondary school about 18-20 years ago I attended this rock band’s performance in the canteen. They played kind of heavy rock stuff like Lizzy and Bon Jovi etc. Not my cuppa, but the singer, who I fancied, at one point sang what I thought was ‘excuse me while I kiss this guy’. It made my 15-year-old ears prick up and left me quite discombobulated. Of course, he was actually singing ‘excuse me while I kiss the sky’ from Jimi Hendrix’s Voodoo Child.
    He was beautiful then and still is now but I’m not sure if he ever kissed a guy.

  46. fez

    A friend of mine thought Neil diamond was a trendy priest,

    “As long as I can have you hear with me, I’ll always be, reverend blue jeans”

  47. Slightly Bemused

    When my radio comes on in the morning and I am still asleep the song lyrics take on different dimensions. If I could remember them I could use them as wonderful titles for fantasy novels.
    Of course, then I would have to write fantasy novels. Nothing is quite so simple :-)

  48. Johnny

    …I missed the significance this line first few times.

    …I love myself, I want you to love me
    When I feel down, I want you above me
    I search myself, I want you to find me
    I forget myself, I want you to remind me
    I don’t want anybody else
    When I think about you, I touch myself
    Ooh, I don’t want anybody else
    Oh no, oh no, oh no…

    I Touch Myself-by Divinyls

    Dive bar fav in NY:)

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