Quidditch is to receive a new name in the US over the ‘trans views’ of Harry Potter creator JK Rowling
They’re thinking of changing the name
Of a rather peculiar game
Played on broomsticks, though I
Notice that they can’t fly
Which must be a terrible shame
Warner Bros.
Billionaire Yusaku Maezawa, who has returned from the International Space Station, made videos about performing tasks in space including going to the toilet
If you’ve always wanted to be
Somewhere that has no gravity
But aren’t sure you could cope
Then here‘s a ray of hope
This guy says it’s easy to pee
EFE
Nphet is seeking 5pm closing time for pubs and restaurants and severely reduced capacities for indoor and outdoor events
As we reach the time of the year
When we all require festive cheer
To have NPHET say
“Drink pints during the day”
Is just what we all want to hear
Operators of the national lottery are seeking regulatory approval to end the marathon winnerless rollover period
Play Lotto and you could be in
With a very small chance of a win
But no one since June
Has done this. So soon
They’ll be changing the rules of the spin
A NASA spacecraft has apparently “touched” the sun for the first time
In NASA they thought, just for fun
“Let’s send a probe into the sun”
The findings they’ve got
Suggests it’s quite hot
Which justifies all that they’ve done
NASA
Data from 329 aerospace engineers and 72 neurosurgeons suggests they are not necessarily cleverer than general population
A study purports to explain
That boffins who work on the brain
Aren’t especially bright
That’s if the study’s right
If not they must do it again
iStock
Taoiseach Micheal Martin has denied his offer of €100 off electricity bills is a ‘gimmick’
The Taoiseach has said that he will
Pay part of your ESB bill
But this news, I fear,
Is not greeted with cheer
As power is a poison pill
A editorial in a Chinese state run website says Communist party members are obliged to have three children
In China the great leader Xi
Has said that folk in his party
Should leap into bed
He wants babies, it’s said
And not one or two, he needs three
AP
Allegra Stratton, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s adviser, resigned yesterday evening for making fun of concerns about an alleged Downing Street Xmas party last year
The Tories don’t want you to hear
That they threw a party last year
In case some poor fools
Might think that the rules
Apply to those at the top tier
Getty
Australia’s fertility rate continues to plummet, with registered births dropping below 300,000 for the first time in 14 years
In news that is bound to appal
The birthrate has started to fall
Not here, just down under
I’m starting to wonder
If Ozzies are riding at all
Shutterstock
