A drug dealer has lost the codes to €53.6 million of the cryptocurrency bitcoin, say the Criminal Assets Bureau
It’s been ruled that the country is owed
A large fortune, but sadly the code
To access the cash
Which was earned growing hash
Disappeared sometime back down the road
John Moynes
Bono attends to Johnny Sexton during a visit to the Ireland rugby team camp
It’s every top sports player’s fate
To have Bono serve you a plate
And then hear him speak
For the guts of a week
About how being Irish is great
John Moynes
Pic: Twitter/U2
The Utah state senate voted unanimously yesterday to effectively decriminalise marrying multiple spouses
In Utah they’re suffering strife
As in that state polygamy’s rife
But now a new rule
Says it’s pretty much cool
For a chap to take more than one wife
John Moynes
Pic: AP
A second nest of snakes has been found dumped in North East England days after 13 royal pythons were found in the same spot.
Most people would think it a sin
To throw your old snake in the bin
But in Sunderland
They will do it and
Then come back with more of its kin
John Moynes
RSPCA/PA
If you’ve got a fair distance to go
There’s something you might want to know
Just one simple rule
To save money on fuel
On highways just drive rather slow
John Moynes
Pic: McQuinnConsulting
United States Attorney General William Barr (left) has sharply criticised President Donald Trump’s prolific Twitter habit
The US AG William Barr
Reckons some of his boss’s tweets are
A constant distraction
From Will’s legal action
As Trump’s rants can go much too far
John Moynes
Getty
The number of insects splattered by cars has massively declined in Europe, boffins claim
It’s so hard to keep your car clean
When bugs crash into your windscreen
But as the world dies
There are far fewer flies
Now I bet you regret voting Green
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
A threesome is the most common sexual fantasy among Americans, according to a survey by the Kinsey Institute
Now plenty of folk want to see
Their two in bed become three
Just get the rules straight
Before it’s too late
And real life ruins your fantasy
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
Sinn Féin President Mary Lou McDonald at the General Election 2020 Count centre in the RDS, Dublin 4 on Sunday
We’ve now reached that odd moment when
The ballots are counted and then
They’ll feign a long talk
While planning to walk
Right back to the voters again
John Moynes
A Mexican art critic accidentally destroyed this €20k work (top) sparking a debate about what constitutes art
Some feather, a rock and ball
May not sound much like art at all
So at an art fair
The critic, Lésper
Caused the structure to have a big fall
John Moynes
Pics: Twitter
