Ryan Tubridy on the set of this year’s The Late Late Toy Show

Let’s face it, there’s nowhere to go
But the sofa this evening and so
Let’s all just agree
To turn on the TV
And endure it: The Late Late Toy Show

John Moynes

Pic: Andres Poveda

Poet Ted Hughes (above) was wrongly included among a British Library list of artists whose collections were associated with wealth obtained from colonial violence

A library that tried to accuse
The late Poet Laureate Hughes
Of having wealth made
From the evil slave trade
Picked a fight that it seems it will lose

John Moynes

Getty

Minister for Agriculture, Charlie McConalogue said he will work hard to ensure there is no Brexit ban on a wide range of foods moving between the UK and Ireland, including sausages

Now Charlie has made an appeal
To the Brits for a last minute deal
Or the Ulster fry
Could be left high and dry
With no sausages for this great meal

John Moynes

RollingNews

The American General Services Administration has declared Joe Biden the apparent winner of the US election while President Trump says he will continues to pursue legal avenues to victory

I think that we’re starting to see
That Trump is about to agree
There’s no way he can win
So it’s time to begin
To shred all his papers and flee

John Moynes

Getty

Under new rona restrictions plans, it is thought unlikely that ‘wet pubs’ will be allowed to open

Some people in government feel
That we’re all due a substantial meal
But wet pubs won’t be seen
Until there’s a vaccine
We’re not yet free of this ordeal

John Moynes

RollingNews

Rudy Giuliani, attorney for US President Donald Trump, during a news conference last night on lawsuits regarding the outcome of the 2020 American Presidential election

I know it can seem quite unfair
To make jokes about somebody’s hair
But it really is fun
When the dye starts to run
And dribbles and drips everywhere.

John Moynes

Getty

A US survey says 38% of families plan to gather in groups of 10 people or more this Thanksgiving, with around a third saying they wouldn’t ask others to wear masks

We all know not everyone can
Face a whole meal with their clan
But if you might choose
To say you’ll refuse
Make sure you come up with a plan

John Moynes

Pic: Alamy stock

A middle-aged couple nicknamed East Anglia’s Bonny & Clyde have left at least dozen pubs and restaurant without paying their bills

There’s a couple of frauds who get thrills
By worming their way out of bills
They’ll visit a pub
And fill up with grub
And then scarper and head for the hills

John Moynes

Pic: Triangle News

The Government is considering fines of less than €300 for people gathering outside to drink alcohol, under proposals going to Cabinet

Our betters in government think
That meeting outdoors for a drink
Of beer or of wine
Should result in a fine
So pay up or you’ll go to the clink

John Moynes

RollingNews