Tag Archives: John Moynes

The Observatory bar of the Grand Central Hotel in Belfast is selling beer at £8 a pint

In Belfast they’ve opened a bar
Where some of booze prices are
So frightfully high
You’d soon question why
You chose to go there for a jar

John Moynes

Pic: Grand Central Hotel

Hawk Cliff, Dalkey, County Dublin

In Dalkey the locals don’t seek
To sneak a quick peek at your cheek
And to bathe in the nude
Is not only rude
But the action of some crazy freak

John Moynes

Pic: CNN

US Vice President Mike Pence announcing plans for a ‘Space Force’ yesterday

Trump’s Spiro Agnew Mike Pence
Outlined his new plans for defence
And the dangers they face
In the vacuum of space
It was stupid and pointless and dense.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Maura Derrane, with RTÉ 1 Today show co-host Dáithí Ó Sé, said she wouldn’t like to see a female presenter of the Rose of Tralee

We live in a dark era when
There’s savage oppression of men
At least we can say
That Dáithí Ó Sé
Will speak to the Roses again

John Moynes

Pic: RTÉ

A security alert was sparked when a package containing a sex toy was discovered on Luas tracks

If you find a suspect device
Then call the police in a trice
Then watch as the fuzz
Start giggling because
It’s a tube that should go somewhere nice

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Sinn Fein’s Michelle O’Neill (left) and the DUP’s Arlene Foster hold power in an assembly that has not sat for 17 months

When it comes to not getting things done
The northerners are number one
Since Sinn Féin agree
With the DUP
That the best course of action is none.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Britain’s Queen Elizabeth and US president Donald Trump at Windsor Castle last month

Yet again poor old Donald’s irate
At the news of last month’s royal date
So what sorry fool
Forgot Trump’s golden rule?
He comes early, The man’s never late.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Independent Alliance Minister Shane Ross has suggested a child-minding ‘Granny grant’

Shane Ross, who’s an honourable man
Will slip a few quid to your nan
It’s important to note
That most old people vote
Though that’s nothing to do with this plan

John Moynes

Rollingnews

3D printed guns can be legally posted online

Do you think it would be lots of fun
To print out your own home made gun?
Well some experts fear
That it doesn’t appear
That it really can safely be done

John Moynes

Pic: AFP/Getty

Singer songwriter David Kitt is leaving Ireland because the cost of living is too high

A talented singer named Kitt
Has asserted that Dublin’s a bit
Too pricey for art
To thrive in its heart
So with sadness he’s going to split.

John Moynes

Pic via David Kitt