Limerick hurlers celebrate their first All-Ireland win since 1973 at Croke Park yesterday
Ah, Limerick at long last you’ve got
Back again to the number one spot
But now that that’s said
It can’t go to your head
You may think you’re all that, but you’re not.
John Moynes
Pic: RTÉ
US President Donald Trump’s proposed military parade could cost $92m
The boys at the Pentagon say
That there’s going to be a delay
Before Trump’s parade
As they were dismayed
At the huge price they will have to pay
John Moynes
Pic: Reuters
Londoner Tereza Burki is suing an elite dating service for £12,000 after she failed to meet anybody
Each singleton hopes it’s their fate
To meet someone nice on a date
But Seventy Thirty
Lacked enough flirty
Chaps, though they charge a high rate
John Moynes
Pic via Facebook
French far right politician Marine Le Pen (left) has been invited to speak at this year’s Web Summit by the event’s co-founder Paddy Cosgrave (right)
It must be embarrassing when
You set up a conference and then
Much to the delight
Of the very far right
You’re giving a stage to Le Pen
John Moynes
Pics: Getty/Rollingnews
Yesterday: Right So
Meanwhile…
Marine le Pen is a guest speaker at #WebSummit 2018. pic.twitter.com/l6ZOV8BbKZ
— marcio barcelos (@marciobarcelos) August 11, 2018
It’s escalating.
UPDATE: Invitation withdrawn
The Observatory bar of the Grand Central Hotel in Belfast is selling beer at £8 a pint
In Belfast they’ve opened a bar
Where some of booze prices are
So frightfully high
You’d soon question why
You chose to go there for a jar
John Moynes
Pic: Grand Central Hotel
Hawk Cliff, Dalkey, County Dublin
In Dalkey the locals don’t seek
To sneak a quick peek at your cheek
And to bathe in the nude
Is not only rude
But the action of some crazy freak
John Moynes
Pic: CNN
US Vice President Mike Pence announcing plans for a ‘Space Force’ yesterday
Trump’s Spiro Agnew Mike Pence
Outlined his new plans for defence
And the dangers they face
In the vacuum of space
It was stupid and pointless and dense.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Maura Derrane, with RTÉ 1 Today show co-host Dáithí Ó Sé, said she wouldn’t like to see a female presenter of the Rose of Tralee
We live in a dark era when
There’s savage oppression of men
At least we can say
That Dáithí Ó Sé
Will speak to the Roses again
John Moynes
Pic: RTÉ
A security alert was sparked when a package containing a sex toy was discovered on Luas tracks
If you find a suspect device
Then call the police in a trice
Then watch as the fuzz
Start giggling because
It’s a tube that should go somewhere nice
John Moynes
Sinn Fein’s Michelle O’Neill (left) and the DUP’s Arlene Foster hold power in an assembly that has not sat for 17 months
When it comes to not getting things done
The northerners are number one
Since Sinn Féin agree
With the DUP
That the best course of action is none.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
