For the life of me I can’t see why
They’re still breaking news about Di
Why does anyone care
About that whole affair?
It’s time to let this matter lie
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Author Archives: John Moynes
As its life signs grow ever more faint
We say goodnight to Microsoft Paint
It was easy and fun
But it got the job done
Though these days it’s looking quite quaint.
John Moynes
RTÉ newsreader Sharon ni Bheolain has criticised the gender pay gap at the station that allows male colleagues like Bryan Dobson (left) earn more for the same work
The women who work on TV
Are saying that they’d like to see
If themselves and the males
Are on different pay scales
For the same shows inside RTÉ
John Moynes
Pic: RTÉ
Justin Bieber performing in New York last year
In China the culture bureau
Said Bieber can’t put on a show
As officials are sure
That his work’s too impure
To be heard in a town like Guangzhou.
John Moynes
BBC’s biggest earners, from left: Chris Evans, Gary Linekar and Graham Norton
So Auntie decided to say
What celebrities take home in pay
And it seems that boys
Have more money for toys
But they hope the girls get more someday.
John Moynes
Pics: Telegraph
If you’ve found the heat too much to take
You’ll be glad that the clouds soon will break
There’ll be so much thunder
That people will wonder
If heaven can have an earthquake.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Steve Whitmire (above right) has voiced Kermit the Frog for 27 years
An American actor called Steve
Has recently found cause to grieve
He failed to address
An ethical mess
So The Muppets have asked him to leave.
John Moynes
Pic: SDCC
At last there’s a glimmer of hope
For those fond of a small bit of dope
But will legal supply
Be one in the eye
For the drug gangs? You’re kidding, right? Nope.
John Moynes
Pic: Leafly
The scene after a truck full of eels overturned over cars on an Oregon highway yesterday
After many hours spent on four wheels
Your passengers may dream of meals
But this doesn’t mean
That what should be seen
Is three and a half tonnes of eels.
John Moynes
Trump’s thought of a new piece of spin
About his employer, Putin
It seems all the hacks
Were Russian attacks
On Donald, to help Clinton win.
John Moynes
Pic composite: Slate