Author Archives: John Moynes

Authorities in Romania have launched an investigation amid accusations Arthur (above), the largest bear in the country, was killed by a European prince

Romania’s a country where
A royal can go on the tear
And have lots of fun
By taking a gun
And shooting a rather large bear

John Moynes

AP

Musician Jim Corr’s complaint over an article that described him as a an ‘online quack’ has not been upheld by the Press ombudsman

Jim Corr thought, for the crack
He’d complain when he was called a quack
But the ombudsman found
The description was sound
Which must feel like a stab in the back

John Moynes

RollingNews

The core of a Chinese rocket is tumbling wildly through low earth orbit and could make an uncontrolled reentry through the atmosphere in the coming days, boffins warn

Some rather concerned experts say
That sometime in early mid May
You might have to flee
If tonnes of debris
From a rocket are heading your way

John Moynes

Getty

Draughts players Russia’s Tamara Tansykkuzhina (right) and Poland’s Natalia Sadowska play on after the Russian flag was snatched

I think it’s a terrible shame
That what should be a nice friendly game
Can cause tension or more
Perhaps even a war
As usual a flag is to blame

John Moynes

Reuters

A rendition of the brain sizes in mammals of various sizes shows variation and similarities despite intelligence levels.

Biologists try to explain
Why some beast end up with a big brain
And some boffins now think
It’s the bodies that shrink
And there’s no real grey matter gain

John Moynes

Illustration: Javier Lazaro

23 MLAs have signed a letter of no confidence in Northern Ireland First Minister Arlene Foster (above)

Her members say Foster can’t be
The leader of the DUP
As they say it’s her fault
That they failed to halt
A border in the Irish Sea.

John Moynes

RollingNews

A trial in Italy will hear the Ndrangheta, Italy’s most powerful criminal group, has laundered billions of euros in the City of London

In Italy witnesses say
That some mobsters use the UK
As its banks are a wonder
For laundering plunder
Making proof of your crimes go away

John Moynes

Getty

A man made a running jump, feet-first, through the open window of a moving car to stop the driver spinning erratically through Skanderbeg Square in Tirana, Albania

For some reason most people are
Scared to jump into a car
That’s started to sway
In a menacing way
Unlike this Albanian star

John Moynes

Reuters

The MethaneSAT will collect data on emissions from bovine flatulence 

In case you’ve been wondering how
To measures the burps from a cow
Then I reckon you might
Use the satellite
That New Zealanders are trying now

John Moynes

Restrictions on hairdressing, sport, retail and religious services are set to be eased next month

If you feel that it’s unfair
That professionals can’t trim your hair
That you can’t attend mass
Or have a tennis class
It seems that you soon can go there

John Moynes

RollingNews