Some words on a newspaper page,
Have theatrical types in a rage,
They don’t want us to know,
That what they put on show,
Doesn’t merit a national stage.

John Moynes

(Irish Times)

[From left: Eamon Mallie, Ian Paisley and Baroness Paisley]

It’s fun to watch people feign shock,
When the grumpy old bigoted Doc,
Appears on TV,
Care of the BBC,
And acts like a merciless cock.

John Moynes

(Newsletter)

I’m surprised to hear anyone say,
That there may be a way for a gay,
To cure the disease,
That put him on his knees,
And made him so desperate to pray.

John Moynes

Thanks Buzz

Young females who keep themselves clean,
May soon disappear from the scene,
Says a Galway TD,
Who can’t stand to see,
A less than immaculate teen.

John Moynes

(Getty)

For a country that sells lots of meat,
This morning’s news comes as a treat,
Because flogging dead horse,
Isn’t par for the course,
But finding it was rather neat.

John Moynes

Pic: Guardian

Like me, were U slightly perplexed,
2 hear of the end of the text?
I found it a gr8,
Way 2 chat 2 a m8,
I dread 2 think what’s coming next.

John Moynes

(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)

[Dr Joseph Roche, of the Science Gallery, Dublin]

A boffin from County Kildare,
Says that he wants to boldly go where,
No one’s been before,
A whole world to explore,
But it’s one-way, which seems quite unfair.

John Moynes

Pic: Joseph Roche

If you’re young and unmarried and Swiss,
And looking for work, perhaps this,
Papal job may appeal,
That is, if you feel,
In the mood for a clerical kiss.

John Moynes

(Getty)

Thank Heaven for good old Christine,
Who’s about to arrive on the scene,
The people have sinned,
And we need a big wind,
That can sweep this benighted land clean.

John Moynes

(Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland)

In Moyross they’re fond of their rap,
But they’re caught in a cultural trap,
Ever since the committee,
Tried to edit their ditty,
And reduce it to anodyne pap.

John Moynes

Pic: Music Generation Limerick City (Facebook)