French presidential hopefuls Emmanuel Macron and Marine Le Pen last night
Our neighbours all tuned in to see
A mud-slinging row on TV
The pollsters have said
That Macron’s still ahead
So France can still claim sanity.
John Moynes
Pic: Eric Feferberg
The man who created The Wire
Is assembling quite a big choir
For a show about rogues
That’s inspired by The Pogues
With tickets I’ll fiercely desire.
John Moynes
Our hero has lately been stressed
By Imperialist thugs in the West
So he’s making it clear
That the whole world should fear
An almighty no holds barred test.
John Moynes
Pics: Getty
It was a close call but his home just took our breath away. Congratulations to the owners. Another year done on #homeoftheyear 😍😍😍😍😍😍 pic.twitter.com/zibyx5JlrC
— Declan O’Donnell (@decodonnell) April 27, 2017
The winner of Home Of The Year
Should be feted with a hearty cheer
But viewers were bitter
And angry on Twitter
And said it was far too austere.
John Moynes
The Abyss Creations factory, where Harmony is manufactured.
Some boffins are building a bot
That’s programmed to find you quite hot
With bits that all feel
If you’re drunk, vaguely real
Will you try it? I think I will not.
John Moynes
Pic: Tom Silverstone/Guardian
Simon, destined to be the world’s biggest bunny, died in the cargo section of a United Airlines Boeing 767
An airline may lose some more money
After killing a very large bunny
Will the court name a figure
Or break down and snigger?
Let’s face it, it is rather funny.
John Moynes
Pic via The Sun
Kerala bar owner skirts ban on sale of alcohol within 500 metres of highway
An Indian judgement would send
A thirsty chap right round the bend
So let’s toast in praise
The Kerala maze
That lets thirsty folk drink at the end.
John Moynes
Pic: Sasi Chandrika for the Guardian
Marine le Pen, president of France’s National Front
Remember that Nazi, Le Pen?
He got through the first round and then
Faced electoral slaughter
Now this time his daughter
Is doing the same thing again.
John Moynes
Pic: Aptopix
Bertie Ahern (left) with Darragh O’Brien TD at a Fianna Fáil Brexit event in Athlone last night
Let’s all celebrate as we learn
That our hero has made his return
So raise up a glass
Of fresh foamy Bass
To that honest man Bertie Ahern
John Moynes
Pic via Midlands 103
Adults are banned from the Legoland Discovery Centre, Melbourne, Australia unless accompanied by a child
Some Aussies are feeling the rage
After handing a chunk of their wage
To those who say toys
Are for small girls and boys
And excluding folk of an old age.
John Moynes
