The lads at the bookie’s have said,
That it’s funny when some woman’s dead,
The ASA insist,
On a slap on the wrist,
After thousands of punters saw red.

John Moynes

Were you watching the strange event which,
They are calling a technical glitch?
Primetime got caught,
Looping one single thought,
Causing twitter to grumble and bitch.

John Moynes

(RTE)

The makers of sugary snacks,
Know Michael Noonan has their backs,
He decided their wealth,
Matters more than your health,
So he wouldn’t drown them in tax.

John Moynes

(Sasko Lazarov/Photocall Ireland)

The boss of New York, good old Bill,
Has declared that he certainly will,
Not march on a day,
That leaves out the gay,
People from all the marching and drill.

John Moynes

(Fox)

Let us now take a moment to think,
Why the Scots are so fond of the drink
The ideas of A Neil,
Are bound to appeal,
To those who’re convinced Tories stink.

John Moynes

(BBC)

A weekend of bad news and shocks,
Was in store for the poor Madam Knox,
She’d got off scot free,
But now it seems she,
Might spend decades behind foreign locks.

John Moynes

(ABC)

[Junior Minister Brian Hayes at the Department of Foreign Affairs today]

I can’t begin to count the ways,
I’m delighted the bould Brian Hayes,
Has said he’ll compete,
To hold on to Gay’s seat,
In a contest that’s bound to amaze.

John Moynes

(Leon Farrell/Photocall Ireland)

They’re thinking of naming the Spire,
After someone that people admire,
Should they go with Mandela,
Or some other fella,
Who’s now in the heavenly choir?

John Moynes

Pic: European Architecture

Mr Tierney, our top water chap,
Has got himself into a flap,
Since he paid a high fee,
To set up some I.T.,
It’s time someone turned off the tap.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

If you add up a decade of pay,
For an industry then you can say,
That wearing a wig,
Is a comfortable gig,
But you’re leading your readers astray.

John Moynes

(Graham Hughes/Photocall Ireland)