Australia’s New South Wales Police Commissioner Mick Fuller said two naked men got lost after running into a forest on seeing a wid buck deer
Two blokes in the nip got the fear
When chased by a big angry deer
At the end of the day
They both had to pay
A big fine, which seems rather severe
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Russia and China have teamed up and plan to build a base on the moon
Our Russian friends and the Chinese
Have cooked up a scheme bound to please
They say that quite soon
There’ll be folk on the moon
And I think we need more of these
The National Maternity Hospital could now relocate to Tallaght or Blanchardstown
One thing nobody wants to see
Is us building a facility
On top of some land
Where we cannot command
But thankfully there‘s a plan B
A lab test failed to identify any tuna DNA in a series of Subway tuna sandwiches.
In New York there’s boffins who say
They saw no tuna DNA
In a roll. If you wish
To dine on that fish
Perhaps don’t buy it in Subway
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UK research shows people who drank coffee had a 49% reduced risk of chronic liver disease
Here’s some morning news you should know
Some boffins say your cup of joe
Looks set to deliver
Good health to your liver
So what are you waiting for? Go.
iStock
Gardaí have said that people cannot drink alcohol in seating spaces recently set up on streets in front of bars and restaurant not covered by licences
Of late it’s felt like a great treat
To drink in the sun on a street
Just one little flaw
You might break the law
By putting your arse in a seat
Chinese astronauts Nie Haisheng, Liu Boming, and Tang Hongbo at the Jiuquan launch center in northwestern China
China’s once more in the race
To put more people up in space
So let’s hope the crew
Called Nie, Tang and Liu
Have fun in their orbital base
AP
A University College Cork rendition of how ancestors of the woodlice were crawling around on Irish land as long as 360 million years ago
Some boffins who work by the Lee
Have a picture they’d like you to see
Of ancient woodlice
And does that sound nice
To you? As it doesn’t to me
Illustration: Diane Dabir Moghaddam
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson (right) with Australian prime minister Scott Morrison in Downing Street, London
Those plucky chaps in the UK
Are announcing a trade deal today
Which is good news because
Some cheap meat from Oz
Will make all their woes go away
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Britain’s Queen Elizabeth and US president Joe Biden discussed China and Russia during their 45-minute talk over tea at Windsor Castle yesterday
A president went for a tea
With a queen yesterday and said she
Was quite full of chat
And asked questions that
Touched upon Putin and Xi
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