Pope Francis is Dublin’s Pro Cathedral last weekend

The natural order around apology and forgiveness is that firstly the offender apologises for the deeds and/or words which he or she acknowledges as having been wrong, and that is much much more than merely uttering a “sorry”.

A sincere apology which is not just an attempt to gloss over matters can be followed by a request for forgiveness.

Sincerity around the apology means not repeating the deed, or at the very least making best efforts not to do so, or to put systems in place to that end.

The offended party might well accept an apology, but forgiveness depends on their own appreciation of the nature and sincerity of the apology they received.

The onus of forgiveness was placed on victims of clerical sexual abuse and of institutional abuse last weekend when criteria for apology had not yet been met, as evidenced in the semantics of the pope’s speeches.

A universal forgiveness is hard to achieve, because every victim’s harm and subsequent resulting fallout are unique and personal.

To request forgiveness without apologising is arrogant, no matter who or what one is, or whom or what one represents.

Michele Savage,

Dublin 12.

Lessons from visit of Pope Francis (Irish Times letters page)

Rollingnews