US president Donald Trump and North Korea South Kim Jong-un

Old Trump didn’t know what to do
When Kim’s latest test missile flew
So he begged the Chinese
To sort it out please
He’s such a strong leader. It’s true.

John Moynes

Pics: Getty

If you’re on of the many who like
To head into town on a bike
You may want to know
The plans for traffic flow
Contain things you’re bound to dislike.

John Moynes

Northern Ireland Secretary James Brokenshire (left) and Irish Foreign Minister Simon Coveney following the breakdown of assembly talks yesterday

A deadline’s a deadline and so
It’s time for the North’s talks to go
On once again
And on, and on, then
Will they reach an agreement? Well, no.

John Moynes

Pic: PA

If you’re planning to go and see Ed
There’s something that needs to be said
He’s the reason why
Hotel prices are high
So be sure to save up for a bed.

John Moynes

A mocked-up cover of a Time magazine in the Champions Sports Bar & Grill at the Trump National Doral Miami

I reckon it’s somewhat sublime
To appear on the cover of Time
But a chap who would make
An obvious fake
Is clearly no better than slime.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

British Prime Minister Theresa May (left) with DUP leader Arlene Foster in Downing Street yesterday

That smooth operator Arlene
Did a deal that just has to be seen
For she gets to say
If poor Mrs May
Still gets tea every week with the Queen.

John Moynes

Pic: AP

Ed Sheeran closes the Glastonbury Festival last night

Some Glastonbury-goers have said
That the headliner filled them with dread
They’re far too highbrow
For pop music now
So Sheeran left them seeing red.

John Moynes

Pic: NME

The albino corn snake found in a tree in north Dublin

Be careful out in Ballybrack
For you may end up under attack
From a big hungry snake
If he chooses to take
You home to chew on as a snack.

John Moynes

Pic Bairbre O’Malley

The ‘sourtoe’ cocktail at the Downtown hotel in Dawson City, Canada

Do any of you people know
A fellow who’d drink up and go
Without paying his bill
And, this might make you ill,
Without giving back the dead toe?

John Moynes

Pic: Alamy

If you’re going off on a trip
And you’re worried your luggage might flip
Just pretend it’s a race
To calm your suitcase
And give all your troubles the slip

John Moynes

Pic: Reuters/ Jana Asenbrennerova