A Chinese probe sent to the moon to bring back lunar samples has successfully landed, according to Beijing’s space agency.
This may come as a bit of a shock
But the Chinese have been taking stock
And it looks like quite soon
They will go to the moon
To make sure they don’t run out of rock
Jin Liwang/Xinhua
The Late Late Show host Ryan Tubridy has denied using the ‘F-word’ during last Friday’s Toy Show
If your fizzy drink gives you a scare
While working with kids be aware
Of the one golden rule:
Make sure you keep your cool
And as well as that don’t fucking swear
RTÉ
Taoiseach Micheál Martin addressing the nation on exiting from Level 5 last Friday
The medical boffins agreed
That the numbers were not what they need
To let us run free
Now the government see
That before long they might have to lead
Ryan Tubridy on the set of this year’s The Late Late Toy Show
Let’s face it, there’s nowhere to go
But the sofa this evening and so
Let’s all just agree
To turn on the TV
And endure it: The Late Late Toy Show
Pic: Andres Poveda
Poet Ted Hughes (above) was wrongly included among a British Library list of artists whose collections were associated with wealth obtained from colonial violence
A library that tried to accuse
The late Poet Laureate Hughes
Of having wealth made
From the evil slave trade
Picked a fight that it seems it will lose
Getty
Minister for Agriculture, Charlie McConalogue said he will work hard to ensure there is no Brexit ban on a wide range of foods moving between the UK and Ireland, including sausages
Now Charlie has made an appeal
To the Brits for a last minute deal
Or the Ulster fry
Could be left high and dry
With no sausages for this great meal
The American General Services Administration has declared Joe Biden the apparent winner of the US election while President Trump says he will continues to pursue legal avenues to victory
I think that we’re starting to see
That Trump is about to agree
There’s no way he can win
So it’s time to begin
To shred all his papers and flee
Getty
Under new rona restrictions plans, it is thought unlikely that ‘wet pubs’ will be allowed to open
Some people in government feel
That we’re all due a substantial meal
But wet pubs won’t be seen
Until there’s a vaccine
We’re not yet free of this ordeal
Rudy Giuliani, attorney for US President Donald Trump, during a news conference last night on lawsuits regarding the outcome of the 2020 American Presidential election
I know it can seem quite unfair
To make jokes about somebody’s hair
But it really is fun
When the dye starts to run
And dribbles and drips everywhere.
Getty
A US survey says 38% of families plan to gather in groups of 10 people or more this Thanksgiving, with around a third saying they wouldn’t ask others to wear masks
We all know not everyone can
Face a whole meal with their clan
But if you might choose
To say you’ll refuse
Make sure you come up with a plan
Pic: Alamy stock
